You might find yourself feeling glum today when the Sox don't make the move you were hoping for. When you get there -- hitting "delete" on the "Bryant in a Sox jersey" image you've been working up, burning with envy as the Yankees sign three more players to supercharge their push for third in the AL East -- please just take comfort in the fact that you really have no clue what you're talking about, and a strong track record of being super wrong.
Instead of dwelling on the players your team didn't get in the moment, revel in *your* great moments from the season past: cursing the FO in the offseason for failing to convert on CY-level internet troll and Miller Man of the Year candidate Trevor Bauer. Shaking your head as the Sox raided the bargain bin for Carlos f'ing Rodon instead of spending merely triple on Corey Kluber, James Paxton, Garrett Richards or the many other clearly better alternatives obvious to anyone who was not a complete idiot. Or lamenting the Sox's inability to land perfect-fit Marcell Ozuna. Or nodding your head knowingly as you cast your Soxtalk poll vote for the Sox to take third in the AL central in this "development year," when the title clearly goes through the battle-tested Bomba Squad. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, and let the realization of your own ineptitude wash out all the negativity like a mighty tide. Then open them, look at the standings, and draw yourself a nice hot bath. It will all be OK! (Or maybe not, but likely not for the reasons your dumb ass supposes.) Cheers!