[Am I a jerk?]

15 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

I struggled with it the entire time. What changed is that I met these guys through a mutual friend, and because I'm autistic and they treated me well, I felt like punting them was  was really dangerous. It took me a while to build up enough confidence in making friends to do it. Also, when I met these guys they were 17 years old and we live in an area that is whiter than sour cream. I gave them a chance to grow out of it. I chalked it up to immaturity and lack of exposure to diversity. When they reached their mid 20s I was tired of it and was struggling for 2.5 years to decide to cut them off. I didn't have as much confidence to make new friends. I got really close multiple times, but now my confidence is there, my social skills are a lot better, and I think I can handle it now, which I didn't then. Also, I've probably matured myself over that time and I finally said enough. 

The complications that led me to wait so long were:

1. Lack of confidence in my own social ability

2. Their youth, immaturity and lack of exposure to diversity 

3. My own immaturity. I've made huge strides over the last 2 years or so. 

Only you can decide who to be friends with. I'm certain you enjoyed spending time with these individuals even though you disagreed with their behavior otherwise you would have stopped it a long time ago. 

At the end of the day you decided to be friends with them for 10 years and ended it childishly through a messaging system. Even with their behavior you need to man up and talk via call or in person. In time of despair sometimes you need to be the better person.

[Am I a jerk?]

21 minutes ago, greg775 said:

If they used the N word and were calling people "Jewish" and you told them to cut it out you and they still did it, you absolutely did the right thing. You probably did the right thing even without warning them. I mean what animals are using the N word today and calling people Jewish for being cheap?? I mean I'm flabbergasted your friends would say the N word around you. It's animalistic behavior and uncalled for and you had to discard them as friends. I'm surprised they haven't been shot or attacked in public if they are saying it that much, surely somebody will hear them in public settings and attack them.

The question is what are you going to do when they apologize to you? You still can't hang around with them if that's how they feel deeply abut African Americans and people who are Jewish.

p.s. How old are these guys? If they are throwing around words like that, they need to knock it off. I remember when I was in college I had a friend who in a group pulled a "Flounder" in Animal House and tried to give me a nickname I didn't like or want. After they all got a good laugh I said immediately, "If you call me that again, I'm done with you and anybody who calls me that. I've got enough going on I'm not going to accept that name." They told me to calm down and never used that name again. I was prepared to change my social life and who I hung out with over that issue it pissed me off that much. At some point words matter and you did the right thing. I mean by using those words they ARE racists. Can't hang out with racists. Congrats to u.

I struggle to understand how he was friends with someone like that for 10 years and accepted it the entire time until now. What changed?

[Am I a jerk?]

34 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

No they're not friends worth having. I didn't want to do it in person because I felt that was more awkward. Their reaction to the whole they didn't even try to get me tonchange my mind, which was shocking. I was hoping to have a discussion about it first, but they didn't even go there. They just said fine, dont talk to me anymore. 

If they felt it was worth an in person conversation don't you think they could have felt completely disrespected by you doing it over text? That is a pretty deep conversation to have via messaging with 10 years of friendship.

It seems interesting they both reacted the same way though and you mentioned you weren't sure if you handled it the right way. I would imagine most people would be taken back quite a bit by a statement of friendship withdrawal out of the blue. That reaction almost gives me the idea that there was some frustration with the friendship from their perspective.

[Field of Dreams Game: Sox vs. Yankees 8.13.20]

I wonder how they may go about determining who gets ticket access? Based on my experiences I would imagine the average fan has no chance. MLB would likely take over many of the seats.

[Am I a jerk?]

12 hours ago, Jack Parkman said:

I basically told them over Facebook in a PM. It has been eating at my conscience for years and it was very troubling to me. It got to the point where I felt like I was living a lie. The whole thing has become worse in the current political environment. 

I'm just a bit sad. I'm kinda mourning my loss. It was my choice, but it's still sad. It's going to be hard for a while, but I know that I'll be better off in the end. These were my two closest friends for the past decade. 

These were your best friends and you did it over a text? I know I am old school but if they were like family that doesn't seem right.

If you blindsided them as you say did they even know you were this close to ending the friendship completely?

[Jeffrey Epstein]

the whole thing is outrageous!