Hamhock

It’s always a useful thought exercise to ask oneself “how much would they have to pay me to do this job and put up with all of its b.s.?” and from there, the understanding of why no one’s interested in doing it at the offered wage.

You meant...hands *on* him, surely?

How about: whenever a White Sox home run is hit into The Goose Island section, the goose head begins spouting out free draft beer? Fans crowd about the goose head in anticipation when a power hitter is up, cups at the ready; holding up signs saying “GOOSE ME”, etc.

This comment was a magnum opus.

Long COVID, perhaps. My wife got COVID last winter and post-recovery had a recurrence of symptoms every 10-14 days until she got vaccinated. Mercifully free of symptoms since then.

They're all in good shape to advance - the voting is in a two-phase format now; the first phase ends June 24. If a player is in the top 3 (or top 9 for outfield), they advance to the final round of voting.

Yeah, agreed - Luzinski's dWAR during his Philly years: -1.2, -1.8, -0.5, -2.8, -2.3, -1.9, -0.8, -2.6, -1.8.

I also request fun/obnoxious arrivals to first base after any HBPs; moonwalks, slo-mo sprinting, Fargo/Flair strut, etc. Alternately, they could over-sell every HBP like Bugs Bunny in the giant sandwich: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5kb5oa?start=390

In these situations, I want a team to proactively wear a temporary target patch (with "AIM HERE" lettering on it) on the side of their sleeve or jersey/pants as a passive-aggressive approach. Every HBP results in a team celebration from the dugout; it would drive the other side crazy within an inning.

Speaking only for my own reply, I thought initially it was serious because it matched the determined-to-be-unhappy tone that can be seen in others here. I subsequently appreciate the boss-level sarcasm and have taken the lumps in stride. Learning experience!

As the Sox currently have the highest winning percentage in MLB, it would be quite impossible to have played someone with a better record than them.

Yes; from the announcement: ”Season-ticket holders will receive a credit to their account for game tickets and parking for tonight’s game. Ticketmaster purchasers will receive a full refund for game tickets and parking through Ticketmaster.”

Front offices need to fill the final pieces of their rosters in a worst-case scenario, based not on the ideal use of those players, but instead on avoiding the worst use of them by their managers. Is there a way to add a use clause in a player contract? “Player X may only be used as a pinch-hitter, defensive substitute in case of injury and for a total number of season games played not to exceed seventy. He may only bat eighth or ninth in the batting order.”

Imagine Eloy making an impossible surprise return on Memorial Day Weekend, complete with Cena entrance theme music and the crowd shouting "APPLE JUICE!" or whatever.

He stumbled rounding second and staggered forward from there, and still nearly beat the throw.