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Relationship Advice Thread


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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 12:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

 

Jesus Christ you're shallow as f***. It must be hard work being so perfect.

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QUOTE (lasttriptotulsa @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 03:43 PM)
Jesus Christ you're shallow as f***. It must be hard work being so perfect.

Come on. You have to have SOME physical attraction to a girl if you are going to date. Its ok to not like something about them.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 03:56 PM)
I'm not sure it's one way or the other, I wouldn't have tried to talk to my girlfriend if I wasn't attracted to her but hips seem kind of nitpicky.

I mean, most people wouldnt have approached anyone they dated if they werent attracted to them. Now I have dated girls where there was something I may have not liked about their physical appearance, but I feel like that came out later. Initially, your penis will tell you yes or no.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 03:56 PM)
I'm not sure it's one way or the other, I wouldn't have tried to talk to my girlfriend if I wasn't attracted to her but hips seem kind of nitpicky.

Agreed. The thought of worrying about hips is a bit of a

:hawk:

Stretch!

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QUOTE (lasttriptotulsa @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 09:43 PM)
Jesus Christ you're shallow as f***. It must be hard work being so perfect.

How can you blast him? He said he wants to be friends at the minimum. It's no law saying he has to be attracted to her. If he is turned off by that one part of her, he's not refusing to be friends. He doesn't appear shallow to me.

It may be wrong, but a lot of people, men and women, know within a minute of a blind date whether there is even a chance they'll be with that person. People get rejected all the time over physical reasons.

Edited by greg775
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QUOTE (greg775 @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 04:04 PM)
How can you blast him? He said he wants to be friends at the minimum. It's no law saying he has to be attracted to her. If he is turned off by that one part of her, he's not refusing to be friends. He doesn't appear shallow to me.

It may be wrong, but a lot of people, men and women, know within a minute of a blind date whether there is even a chance they'll be with that person. People get rejected all the time over physical reasons.

 

I would say this is dangerous generalization. Some people like to genuinely get to know people before they pursue anything. There absolutely needs to be a certain level of physical attraction, I won't lie about that but pessimistic f***ers like me keep their defenses up until you get to the point of trusting a partner.

 

People do get rejected over physical reasons and that's their prerogative. Hell, my brother told me the other day he stopped seeing a girl because she wouldn't shave her snatch. I didn't even know that was a thing.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 03:32 PM)
I can't say I've ever paid attention to hips on a girl.

 

White guys generally like skinny and a good face, (/green but partially /green) other assets be damned. I don't know how many times some white guy I know boasts about his girl and she has no ass or tits. It's a goddamn shame IMO but to each their own.

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QUOTE (KagakuOtoko @ Mar 31, 2017 -> 01:05 AM)
White guys generally like skinny and a good face, (/green but partially /green) other assets be damned. I don't know how many times some white guy I know boasts about his girl and she has no ass or tits. It's a goddamn shame IMO but to each their own.

 

I found that my taste evolved with age... I would be attracted to a curvier lassie now than I would have been as a teenager or in my twenties.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 11:52 PM)
I disagree. Or at the least, I think that's changing and has changed. I am not sure how old you are but I know you're older than me. But as a millennial, I think it has changed because of social media and yoga pants among other things.

 

The whole instagram thing and women's clothing style changes is all catered towards girls' butts. I remember when I was a freshman in high school (I am pretty young) and girls started wearing yoga pants to school and it was mind-blowing for the guys. Once a few girls started wearing them everyone did. Guys would gossip about girls when they were wearing yoga pants. I remember a friend coming up to me and saying, "Did you see Victoria?" and I said no and he said, "She's wearing those tight black elastic-y pants today. You should see her butt." We didn't even know they were called yoga pants. Just like the girls with great boobs tend to show cleavage, the girls with the great butts were more likely to wear yoga pants. Yoga pants changed everything for white people.

 

By the time I was senior, not only were guys (all guys, black guys, white guys, etc.) obsessed with butts, but girls who started working out to better their bodies were showing their butts in progress pictures just as often as they would show stomach. I am sure this is weird for the older guys to hear but when I was first on Myspace, Xanga, Facebook (7th-9th grade) girls would edit their picture to make their boobs bigger. When I got older, the girls would edit the pictures to bring in their sides and extenuate their butts. There are plenty of girls who brag about doing squats.

 

If I were to generalize white dudes I'd say they were definitely late to the butt craze but they're probably split at this point. Of course it's not as likely for a white dude to be into ass as a black guy, but to your point, white dudes, in general, lean toward skinnier figures where black dudes gravitate towards thicker girls. Nobody would argue you on that. In the black community, asses are essential to the "dream girl." In the white community, it's always about blonde girls. Who cares about hair color.

 

I just don't get the guys who have a "type." Whether it's looks or personality, there are so many guys that just keep ending up with a girl who is just like the girl before them. With me it has always been, I am attracted to a girl to some varying extent, I end up talking to her and if we have chemistry, I start to notice all the good things about her.

:drink To SirMixALot
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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 12:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

... the f***?! Pass her this way son. :lol:

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QUOTE (SoxAce @ Apr 4, 2017 -> 07:15 AM)
... the f***?! Pass her this way son. :lol:

 

Lol, we're going on date #2 on Thursday. She's definitely in to me, which is cool. Also, found out she has lost 70 pounds since 2011. Could be a reason for the wide hips. Maybe it's harder to lose weight there for her? It's just something I'll have to get used to as most of the girls I'm with happen to be small.

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Date #2 was tonight. She's definitely bigger all around than I noticed on the first date. So her hips aren't as out of proportion as I thought, considering the rest of her is bigger than I thought.

 

She's still really cool though, so I'll keep seeing her and hanging out. We shall see when it comes to having sex for the first time whether or not I can be in to a big girl or not. I've always been with small (short) girls.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Apr 7, 2017 -> 12:28 AM)
Date #2 was tonight. She's definitely bigger all around than I noticed on the first date. So her hips aren't as out of proportion as I thought, considering the rest of her is bigger than I thought.

 

She's still really cool though, so I'll keep seeing her and hanging out. We shall see when it comes to having sex for the first time whether or not I can be in to a big girl or not. I've always been with small (short) girls.

 

Think less and do more.

 

That is all young buck.

 

Good luck.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Apr 7, 2017 -> 12:28 AM)
Date #2 was tonight. She's definitely bigger all around than I noticed on the first date. So her hips aren't as out of proportion as I thought, considering the rest of her is bigger than I thought.

 

She's still really cool though, so I'll keep seeing her and hanging out. We shall see when it comes to having sex for the first time whether or not I can be in to a big girl or not. I've always been with small (short) girls.

 

Sounds like you'll need to pound a few IPA's before going all the way with her.

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QUOTE (knightni @ Apr 7, 2017 -> 06:39 AM)
If you're going to be critical of her size on a regular basis instead of accepting her, then you shouldn't even bother dating her, let alone attempt a sexual relationship with her.

 

I agree. She might think it's going somewhere so if he keeps leading her on, has sex, and then says he just wants be friends, she probably won't want to be friends.

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QUOTE (raBBit @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 11:52 PM)
I disagree. Or at the least, I think that's changing and has changed. I am not sure how old you are but I know you're older than me. But as a millennial, I think it has changed because of social media and yoga pants among other things.

 

The whole instagram thing and women's clothing style changes is all catered towards girls' butts. I remember when I was a freshman in high school (I am pretty young) and girls started wearing yoga pants to school and it was mind-blowing for the guys. Once a few girls started wearing them everyone did. Guys would gossip about girls when they were wearing yoga pants. I remember a friend coming up to me and saying, "Did you see Victoria?" and I said no and he said, "She's wearing those tight black elastic-y pants today. You should see her butt." We didn't even know they were called yoga pants. Just like the girls with great boobs tend to show cleavage, the girls with the great butts were more likely to wear yoga pants. Yoga pants changed everything for white people.

 

By the time I was senior, not only were guys (all guys, black guys, white guys, etc.) obsessed with butts, but girls who started working out to better their bodies were showing their butts in progress pictures just as often as they would show stomach. I am sure this is weird for the older guys to hear but when I was first on Myspace, Xanga, Facebook (7th-9th grade) girls would edit their picture to make their boobs bigger. When I got older, the girls would edit the pictures to bring in their sides and extenuate their butts. There are plenty of girls who brag about doing squats.

 

If I were to generalize white dudes I'd say they were definitely late to the butt craze but they're probably split at this point. Of course it's not as likely for a white dude to be into ass as a black guy, but to your point, white dudes, in general, lean toward skinnier figures where black dudes gravitate towards thicker girls. Nobody would argue you on that. In the black community, asses are essential to the "dream girl." In the white community, it's always about blonde girls. Who cares about hair color.

 

I just don't get the guys who have a "type." Whether it's looks or personality, there are so many guys that just keep ending up with a girl who is just like the girl before them. With me it has always been, I am attracted to a girl to some varying extent, I end up talking to her and if we have chemistry, I start to notice all the good things about her.

I've never seen such an extensive analysis on this subject. Lol.

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