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Relationship Advice Thread

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1 hour ago, pettie4sox said:

Could not have said this any better.  Still trying to figure out where SoxAce's head was at... 😛

The blood obviously was not flowing north in that regard. :lol:

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On 2/28/2019 at 7:18 AM, Kyyle23 said:

Nothing wrong with that either.  Just remove the responsibility from the other party when it comes to being safe.

 

 

and maybe hook up with someone you like lmao

People do that?

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1 minute ago, Rowand44 said:

People do that?

Sometimes, seems rare in the greater St. Louis area

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11 hours ago, Rowand44 said:

People do that?

Screwing somebody you don't like? Saw alot of it in college. To be fair, we actually did like each other in the beginning lol. Was just afterwards it was just strictly platonic and nothing else.

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10 hours ago, SoxAce said:

Screwing somebody you don't like? Saw alot of it in college. To be fair, we actually did like each other in the beginning lol. Was just afterwards it was just strictly platonic and nothing else.

Haha nah, I was just making a joke about the exact opposite.  People have one night stands with people they don’t know/don’t like all the time, not sure why this would be a surprise to anyone. Unfortunately for poor Kyle he gets to hear far too many of my dumb stories so that’s why I was quoting him.

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Just signed an offer for a house with my girlfriend....so....you could say things are getting pretty serious. 😲

EDIT: Offer accepted.

Edited by ChiliIrishHammock24

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On 3/23/2019 at 11:41 PM, ChiliIrishHammock24 said:

Just signed an offer for a house with my girlfriend....so....you could say things are getting pretty serious. 😲

EDIT: Offer accepted.

As someone who is also looking to buy a place and dealing with a seller's market and the frustration of losing multiple offers (one of my friends is currently calling me Jerry lol), I feel like we need a separate thread for this lol

Edited by soxfan2014

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On 3/23/2019 at 11:41 PM, ChiliIrishHammock24 said:

Just signed an offer for a house with my girlfriend....so....you could say things are getting pretty serious. 😲

EDIT: Offer accepted.

Tell us more, Chili. Is this that younger woman you wanted to date? You are da man, Chili. Hope to see u at the Sox game(s) I attend this year.

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11 hours ago, soxfan2014 said:

As someone who is also looking to buy a place and dealing with a seller's market and the frustration of losing multiple offers (one of my friends is currently calling me Jerry lol), I feel like we need a separate thread for this lol

In the same neighborhood as the house we just got, we got screwed over by the seller lying to us and telling us there were no showings, and we would be the first people to see the place the following day, only to find out they DID have showings the night before, and even accepted an offer from those showings before we even had a chance to see the place. So my girlfriend is still salty about it and keeps trying to compare our place to that other house, even though we never even saw it, it was "perfect" in her mind based off the pictures.

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6 hours ago, greg775 said:

Tell us more, Chili. Is this that younger woman you wanted to date? You are da man, Chili. Hope to see u at the Sox game(s) I attend this year.

Lol no. I "dated" that girl for a month and that was a few years ago. I dated a few different girls since that one.

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Has anyone dated a girl with depression and anxiety before? 

 

Been dating this girl for a year and a half, I'm so in love, but sometimes her mental illness just makes things so fucking hard!. 

 

We had long talked about getting married. A few months ago we looked at engagement rings and i ended up coming back and getting the one she really liked. A few weeks later, i purposed...she said yes......Since then, to my dismay, things have been incredibly rocky. She has admitted to having cold feet, we don't have sex, we don't talk as much, the passion has become non existent, she wants more alone time, all this shit.

 

She says she still loves me and still wants everything we had talked about, but her mental issues are making her this way. 

 

How do i cope? I love this girl, but it's really been hard since i myself have anxiety.

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28 minutes ago, 2nd_city_saint787 said:

Has anyone dated a girl with depression and anxiety before? 

 

Been dating this girl for a year and a half, I'm so in love, but sometimes her mental illness just makes things so fucking hard!. 

 

We had long talked about getting married. A few months ago we looked at engagement rings and i ended up coming back and getting the one she really liked. A few weeks later, i purposed...she said yes......Since then, to my dismay, things have been incredibly rocky. She has admitted to having cold feet, we don't have sex, we don't talk as much, the passion has become non existent, she wants more alone time, all this shit.

 

She says she still loves me and still wants everything we had talked about, but her mental issues are making her this way. 

 

How do i cope? I love this girl, but it's really been hard since i myself have anxiety.

Is she seeing anyone that can prescribe her meds to help balance her out?

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6 hours ago, soxfan2014 said:

Is she seeing anyone that can prescribe her meds to help balance her out?

She was. Then stopped because things were so good for so long. Things were still good for some time but now the last few months have been rough. 

 

 

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9 hours ago, 2nd_city_saint787 said:

Has anyone dated a girl with depression and anxiety before? 

 

Been dating this girl for a year and a half, I'm so in love, but sometimes her mental illness just makes things so fucking hard!. 

 

We had long talked about getting married. A few months ago we looked at engagement rings and i ended up coming back and getting the one she really liked. A few weeks later, i purposed...she said yes......Since then, to my dismay, things have been incredibly rocky. She has admitted to having cold feet, we don't have sex, we don't talk as much, the passion has become non existent, she wants more alone time, all this shit.

 

She says she still loves me and still wants everything we had talked about, but her mental issues are making her this way. 

 

How do i cope? I love this girl, but it's really been hard since i myself have anxiety.

Second city, I don't know if you are a believer but I'll pray for you and your GF. I am concerned about your situation and urge caution in getting married for a while. A GREAT friend of mine married a woman with depression and anxiety and they got an anullment within 2 months because of the horrible situation the anxiety/depression caused. I know you love her because you said you do, but I preach caution in tying the knot. Have you set a date? My friend got married despite the problems and simply had to get the annulment despite loving her. He married another woman just a year later and they are happy with a child. I'm not applauding the situation as the woman with the anxiety did not want to break up the marriage but he felt strongly he needed the annulment. The woman with the anxiety is doing better as well which pleases me! Good luck second city.

Edited by greg775

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14 hours ago, 2nd_city_saint787 said:

She was. Then stopped because things were so good for so long. Things were still good for some time but now the last few months have been rough. 

 

 

The first thing you need to do is talk to her about the changes and that she needs to go back to get help. That's a hard conversation but she needs to hear it.

Speaking personally, I was just recently diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder. I've had depression in the past, and the two are linked. It sucks, but I wasted no time getting on meds (which are pretty awesome) and I'm looking for a therapist. These things happen and shouldn't be a big deal to anyone. Getting help is important and should be treated like a broken bone.

For whatever reason, depression always felt like a thing I should just fight on my own. But the panic disorder became impossible to ignore or fight. Being honest with myself has been liberating in a sense and I know that it will make me a better husband and father.

If you also suffer from anxiety, it might help to see a relationship counselor. I never would have done this when I was younger, but experience has a way of changing perspectives.

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My college girlfriend was dealing with anxiety, I quickly learned you need to lean on the professionals for dealing with that.  Be there for her, but also make sure she is really getting professional help, unfortunately you can't replace that level of support and it's really needed.

Also, getting off meds seems like a really bad idea unless the doctor/therapist was ok with it.  It was probably going great because of the impact the meds had.

Finally, I would tell her that you are there for her, but she needs to see professional help, and once she does to reach back out to you when she is ready.  If she wants space I would give it to her, just make sure she is actually seeing the doc.  Hopefully she gets better and realizes that it was the depression coming back that changed things.

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Yeah, i laid there in bed last night just staring at her trying to work up the nerve to suggest her going back to get help.

 

The problem with giving her space and just letting go is we live together and I've got no life. Lol. I told her i would take up golf ever Sunday when the weather turns. 

We have been saving to get a new place, and still talks about it. I would hate to just use that money on a rental(because im still working on my credit), but it may be whats best. 

 

She knows I'm there for her. I do everything i can to give her the best life possible. 

Edited by 2nd_city_saint787

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11 hours ago, 2nd_city_saint787 said:

 

She knows I'm there for her. I do everything i can to give her the best life possible. 

You are a great great person! Thing is you don't have to get married to be her friend forever. Of course you may want to marry her no matter what. Bless u second city saint. You sound like a true saint! Greg's advice is proceed with caution as far as marriage even if it's an unpopular form of advice.

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