shipps Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I find myself extremely uncomfortable when I am in social situations with people I don't really know. I always either say something dumb or there is awkward silence that I have a hard time allowing to happen so then I try even harder to make conversation and it winds up being even more uncomfortable for everyone (as I see it). I am a social butterfly around people I know but at work or many other situations I find myself in extremely uncomfortable situations where I have to connect with people I dont know. Often times I am sure it isnt as bad as I am seeing it but its how I usually walk away saying to myself "stupid, stupid, stupid"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Only around people I don't know. I only talk to people I don't know if I am introduced to them. I don't go to bars much anymore but it used to be weird when my friends would go off and talk to other people I didn't know and I just sat there like a wallflower. I've gotten better but whatever. I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caulfield12 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Insert Zack Greinke joke here. I know, I know...not a laughing matter, especially when it requires (in its most extreme form/s) a cocktail of medication and eventually hospitalization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostfan Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I am socially awkward, but I just stopped caring about it so it cancels out, if that makes sense? I guess I play it off well, people who know me online don't believe me when I say I'm an introvert, but in either case my personality is exactly the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 You are polling people who spend an inordinate amount of hours on a forum about their social habits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoSox05 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I am usually really awkward when I first meet people. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday where I won't know one person. Super excited about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (GoSox05 @ May 24, 2016 -> 10:00 AM) I am usually really awkward when I first meet people. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday where I won't know one person. Super excited about that. Thats a nightmare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (Ezio Auditore @ May 24, 2016 -> 09:54 AM) I am socially awkward, but I just stopped caring about it so it cancels out, if that makes sense? I guess I play it off well, people who know me online don't believe me when I say I'm an introvert, but in either case my personality is exactly the same. I am growing towards that for sure but there are certain situations that I truly do want to make a good impression on someone or a group of people and it is just brutal. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostfan Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (GoSox05 @ May 24, 2016 -> 11:00 AM) I am usually really awkward when I first meet people. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday where I won't know one person. Super excited about that. Are you my son? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (Tex @ May 24, 2016 -> 09:55 AM) You are polling people who spend an inordinate amount of hours on a forum about their social habits? haha, exactly Having to travel for work a lot, more often than not by myself, helped a bunch. I'd still rather spend time with a small number of close friends and family than big crowds, and still awkward when I don't know most of the people really well. I compare that to my dad who will strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostfan Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (StrangeSox @ May 24, 2016 -> 11:09 AM) haha, exactly Having to travel for work a lot, more often than not by myself, helped a bunch. I'd still rather spend time with a small number of close friends and family than big crowds, and still awkward when I don't know most of the people really well. I compare that to my dad who will strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. That's my mom. Sometimes I'm like damn ma, take it down a couple notches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigruss Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Speaking of parents who do things you would never do, my dad will joke/prod waiters/waitresses or other service people all the time. He has no fear in mentioning how long it's taking for food to get to the table, or that it's the 2nd time he's had to ask for water or anything like that. Not that I wouldn't eventually say something but I feel like he goes straight to an attitude/tone that is pretty harsh, and the entire time I'm just thinking of the movie "Waiting". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (Ezio Auditore @ May 24, 2016 -> 10:12 AM) That's my mom. Sometimes I'm like damn ma, take it down a couple notches We've had to limit my dad to "okay, you get to talk to three people today" while on vacation because otherwise he'll just chat with strangers forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoSox05 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I'm jealous of people who can just strike up conversation with anyone like it's no big deal. My dad is like that. We went to dinner last Saturday and by the end of the meal, he knew the waiters whole life story. Where he was from and his whole family. I now know that this waiter was from Mexico, but his grandpa was actually from Italy. Also, his twin brother works in the kitchen and got him the job. He was teaching my dad how to say certain things in Spanish. I would have said hi and ordered my food. That's about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonWeltall Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (GoSox05 @ May 24, 2016 -> 04:00 PM) I am usually really awkward when I first meet people. It takes a while for me to open up to people. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday where I won't know one person. Super excited about that. How did you get invited if you don't know even one person? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (CrimsonWeltall @ May 24, 2016 -> 10:26 AM) How did you get invited if you don't know even one person? Duh...."Hey ma...the meatloaf...we want it now"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoSox05 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (CrimsonWeltall @ May 24, 2016 -> 12:26 PM) How did you get invited if you don't know even one person? Sorry, should have put one person outside of my wife. Or maybe I just show up to weddings and stand there awkwardly until someone tells me to get out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ May 24, 2016 -> 10:48 AM) Duh...."Hey ma...the meatloaf...we want it now"! That's funerals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 My social awkwardness/shyness comes from being shunned and bullied in school as a kid. If I don't know people I'm actually more comfortable than if I know them, because sometimes I wonder about people's opinions of me. Even now, 25 years after high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (knightni @ May 24, 2016 -> 02:05 PM) My social awkwardness/shyness comes from being shunned and bullied in school as a kid. If I don't know people I'm actually more comfortable than if I know them, because sometimes I wonder about people's opinions of me. Even now, 25 years after high school. Wow thats a perspective I didnt think about. You shouldnt have any care for anybody's opinion of you, you are a really good dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 (edited) I couldn't pin point when but at some point in college a switch just flipped and I went from one of the shyest people around to one of the most outgoing. I'm sure people feel plenty awkward around me at times but I'm not afraid to embarrass myself and I'll talk to anyone now a days. Edited May 24, 2016 by Rowand44 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted May 24, 2016 Author Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ May 24, 2016 -> 02:24 PM) I couldn't pin point when but at some point in college a switch just flipped and I went from one of the shyest people around to one of the most outgoing. I'm sure people feel plenty awkward around me at times but I'm not afraid to embarrass myself and I'll talk anyone now a days. You should care about others opinion of you, you are a terrible dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 QUOTE (shipps @ May 24, 2016 -> 02:33 PM) You should care about others opinion of you, you are a terrible dude. Wait... Ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caulfield12 Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 I think someone needs to read the classic book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 (edited) I'm like this in certain situations. It's less about the fear of speaking with strangers than it is not knowing what to say in certain situations. Funerals give me panic attacks almost. I hate every second of them. I don't know what to say to people. Even extended family funerals with a handful of people I know i'm still uncomfortable. And it's funny because I fully realize and understand that no one cares about me, they're obviously there for the dead person's family, but it doesn't matter. I'm still freaked out over it. This spring all of my son's daycare friends started to turn 4, so parents started to have more birthday parties. Those things are also brutal. Each one is the same - go to some indoor playground facility or fieldhouse with inflated bouncy houses, or businesses devoted to kid parties and the let the kids run around for an hour while the parents all stand around and try to make small talk. My wife drops the kid off 90% of the time so she knows all of the kids in his class by name and she knows most of the parents. I know no one and very few of the kids. It's awful. Luckily the parties are only 2 hours long and then everyone leaves. Edited May 25, 2016 by JenksIsMyHero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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