greg775 Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 (edited) If you are mad that you are stuck in traffic ... or have to spend the weekend helping your sister move to a new apartment or have to cut the grass or have to go to some neighborhood block party you don't want to go to ... or have to take your wife to some wedding where you'll know nobody and don't want to go ... please consider the case of my good friend in suburbia and realize the small stuff should not be sweat. I'll make it quick. ... A good friend of mine has been battling breast cancer for more than a year. Complications galore. Not an early stage cancer. Radiation f***ed her up pretty badly causing nerve damage that may be irreversable. Chemo hit her hard. Once she gets done with chemo in July will need to rest up for 2 surgeries this fall or winter. If all goes well she will finally be free of cancer and on the mend after a year and a half of living hell with her only physical concern how to deal with the nerve damage/horrible pain. This person who has 2 adult kids living with her (not to help her necessarily, but her to help them have a place to live as in the thread I started before) and one high schooler last week found her perfectly healthy 26 year old daughter seizing and unconscious at her apartment after she went over to check on her. She had epilepsy as a teen but medications were controlling it. An ambulance took her to hospital where she had to go to ICU. She has irreversable brain damage and right now is functioning as a 6 year old. Prognosis is she may get "a little" bit of her short and long term memory back after intense and incredible rehab, etc. Remember, this young bright 26 year old paralegal was functioning normally one week ago and now her life is at best as a severely disabled person. My friend said she "feels as if she is going through the motions of living" and is "devastated" and "paralyzed with fear but trying to act positive on the outside." Daughter is to move into her house tomorrow. I remain a believer in God but do not understand why this has been placed on her and her daughter. Perfectly normal healthy daughter one day ... BOOM. My question to you is ... what the hell do you say to your friend? I told her no words could describe how I feel and asked her to stay strong please. Try to remember the real life struggles people are going through if you are the type to freak out about/be concerned with little things like I am. The old saying is true. If you have your health and a roof over your head and your loved ones are healthy and happy that is all that matters. DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF PLEASE. If this thread bores you merge it into some other file or kill it. I don't mean to bore or be controversial. Edited May 27, 2016 by greg775 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 As someone with epilepsy who has dealt with loved ones getting brain damage, not much you can do. Be supportive. If she's in the hospital a lot, maybe bring some coffee or food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 Greg - Condolences to you and your friend and her whole family (including the daughter). I think you hit the nail on the head with your point on if you have health, a room over your head, a full stomach, and your loved ones are happy and healthy, that is really at the end of the day, all you can ever ask for. Everything else is trivial and you need to make sure you appreciate it while you have it (cause you never know when it can get taken away). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 I actually get frustrated trying to explain this to my wife. When things dont go her/our way she tends to let it affect her more than it should. She is not alone but I tend to still be happy during these times and she mistakenly recognizes it as if I dont care. I just know that the truly important things are all good so I am going to still be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 That's terrible Greg. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted May 27, 2016 Author Share Posted May 27, 2016 (edited) QUOTE (shipps @ May 27, 2016 -> 04:59 PM) I actually get frustrated trying to explain this to my wife. When things dont go her/our way she tends to let it affect her more than it should. She is not alone but I tend to still be happy during these times and she mistakenly recognizes it as if I dont care. I just know that the truly important things are all good so I am going to still be happy. Thanks for the kind thoughts all. Shipps I do think we have to daily remind our significant others to not sweat the little stuff and even tell them stories like the one I reported here. You just have to realize how fortunate you are. I mean we all think we are so busy, which we are. But in a minute, you get cancer and your daughter catches some stomach ailment and next thing you know she'll never function as an adult again ... now you have problems. It's so sad. I don't understand. I told my friend that I realize she wasn't given cancer to be an example to others, but I do "use" her as a reminder that things I consider hassles are not real problems. SHE has real problems. We know each other well so she understood what I was trying to say. Now with this happening to her daughter, there are no words. It's too horrifying to consider saying anything like that. Not that the cancer isn't horrifying enough. Edited May 27, 2016 by greg775 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitetrain8601 Posted May 28, 2016 Share Posted May 28, 2016 Greg, you are a good man. Just keep being there is all you can really do. Godbless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 QUOTE (nitetrain8601 @ May 28, 2016 -> 04:35 AM) Greg, you are a good man. Just keep being there is all you can really do. Godbless Thanks train. My friend is hoping her daughter gets her brain function back but the doctors say it won't happen. I am not sure what even happened. She had stomach problems for a month where she couldn't keep food down then a seizure and was unconscious and bam, the brain activity wiped out. Thank u. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pettie4sox Posted May 28, 2016 Share Posted May 28, 2016 That is god awful. I'm sorry to hear this is happening. I agree with the posters saying just be supportive! There are no magic words that will make this situation any less worse than it already is, unless you can snap your fingers and reverse time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 QUOTE (pettie4sox @ May 28, 2016 -> 02:05 PM) That is god awful. I'm sorry to hear this is happening. I agree with the posters saying just be supportive! There are no magic words that will make this situation any less worse than it already is, unless you can snap your fingers and reverse time. I was actually thinking about the reversing time thing. Just to go back to way things were five or six days ago when the daughter was completely healthy, now impaired for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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