Relationship Advice Thread

[WilliamTell]

Every time you intentionally bring in the "wing man" who is a friend to use her in a manipulative way, it never works.

 

One can only be so "strategic" in this...if it happens naturally, that's the only time it is really effective, that girls will notice each other and recognize instinctually that another is circling "their" territory and they have to decide whether the fight or flight response is necessary.

 

As noted, some girls want their guy to stay single, even though they don't really want to date him...it's strange, like that movie My Best Friend's Wedding, even where the guy has a fiance, he still doesn't want another man to be with his friend, even if nothing has ever happened between them romantically.

 

I've never had much luck with a wing man before either. They always end up looking and acting better than me! But that's not very hard to do it seems!

[The Beast]

What are your guys' thoughts on "don't go looking for love/lust/a girlfriend, let it/her come find you."

[whitesoxfan101]

What are your guys' thoughts on "don't go looking for love/lust/a girlfriend, let it/her come find you."

 

I've found it to be true. If you just be yourself and roll with the punches, it seems like the chances of finding somebody increase because you aren't trying too hard. Also, by just being yourself and not trying too hard, it seems like your chances of meeting somebody who you truly connect with increase, because the level of honesty is higher than it is when you're really trying to get with somebody. Just my 2 cents though.

Edited July 27, 2010 by whitesoxfan101

[maggsmaggs]

What are your guys' thoughts on "don't go looking for love/lust/a girlfriend, let it/her come find you."

Part agree, part disagree.

 

Agree: If you are too aggressive or try to hard to have a GF, the girl likely won't be right for you and you will probably regret the relationship.

Disagree: Men are suppose to be the hunters and women the hunted. Guys initiate the conversation, date asking, etc. most of the time, so if you don't do anything, like nothing will happen to you. You will likely be waiting for a random girl to just see you in the middle of the road and initiate flirting with you.

 

You gotta capture both strategies for the best scenario. Go out, be aggressive, but don't over do it. Just my two cents.

[whitesoxfan101]

Part agree, part disagree.

 

Agree: If you are too aggressive or try to hard to have a GF, the girl likely won't be right for you and you will probably regret the relationship.

Disagree: Men are suppose to be the hunters and women the hunted. Guys initiate the conversation, date asking, etc. most of the time, so if you don't do anything, like nothing will happen to you. You will likely be waiting for a random girl to just see you in the middle of the road and initiate flirting with you.

 

You gotta capture both strategies for the best scenario. Go out, be aggressive, but don't over do it. Just my two cents.

 

While I agree with the bolded, I think you can initiate conversation and date asking without being out there looking for a relationship. I think you have a better chance of finding somebody just by going out and being yourself and letting whatever happens go down than you do thinking "ok, I'm going to find somebody for myself". A lot of times, it just happens, and when you least expect it too.

[MHizzle85]

What are your guys' thoughts on "don't go looking for love/lust/a girlfriend, let it/her come find you."

I agree with it. When I'm out, I never fully hit on any women, but I do flirt. I assume if they're interested, they'll let me know.

[WilliamTell]

Guys, yesterday sucked big time!

 

I started talking to this girl in early June, right around the time the Sox went on their crazy run. I was really interested in her, but I called her my good luck charm for the Sox. She broke up with her old boyfriend while we were starting our friendship, and after her breakup we started talking a lot. The last few weeks had been really great until yesterday when she said she wanted to be with her ex-boyfriend again. And she thinks he'll change from being a jerk towards her and not wanting to hangout with her and stuff. It kind of sucked because on Sunday she was talking about our future and wanting to be in a relationship eventually, then Monday she tells me she doesn't want that at all. At least I'm not really heartbroken because we weren't even talking for two months. But it still sucks.

 

 

[Balta1701]

So what you're saying is I need to go put some money on the Twins for the Central. Crap.

[BearSox]

Women = the Devil.... that is all that needs to be said.

[SoxAce]

Women = the Devil.... that is all that needs to be said.

 

THE DEVIL!!!

 

[The Beast]

You, my friend, need to stop analyzing things. Go get yourself a hooker or something.

To hell with it, I hear so much of everyone's opinions day in and day out that it's so difficult to follow through with my desires. I am not just going to be a sitting duck, let life pass me by and not miss out on more than I already have. I've been meeting new people right and left, trying to enjoy myself, and I have been. But I also still would like to exercise my free will and do something instead of sit here listening to people to "sit and wait for things to come around." I don't over pursue or do anything to freak the women out. I'm direct with them, and if there's nothing there, then god damnit, I move on. Sure, I'll get a hooker. That's a great story to tell your kid or future significant other.

 

"Honey, I have slept with a prostitute before. That's the kind of guy I was. I never got tested. Do you think you have herpes?"

 

Screw that crap.

[SoxFan1]

Guys, yesterday sucked big time!

 

I started talking to this girl in early June, right around the time the Sox went on their crazy run. I was really interested in her, but I called her my good luck charm for the Sox. She broke up with her old boyfriend while we were starting our friendship, and after her breakup we started talking a lot. The last few weeks had been really great until yesterday when she said she wanted to be with her ex-boyfriend again. And she thinks he'll change from being a jerk towards her and not wanting to hangout with her and stuff. It kind of sucked because on Sunday she was talking about our future and wanting to be in a relationship eventually, then Monday she tells me she doesn't want that at all. At least I'm not really heartbroken because we weren't even talking for two months. But it still sucks.

Man, I've been in the same position (outside of the not talking for 2 months thing) for a while. You have to just suck it up and give her an ultimatum. It's not worth sticking around so long in limbo where there is clear mutual interest but nothing is happening.

[SoxFan1]

To hell with it, I hear so much of everyone's opinions day in and day out that it's so difficult to follow through with my desires. I am not just going to be a sitting duck, let life pass me by and not miss out on more than I already have. I've been meeting new people right and left, trying to enjoy myself, and I have been. But I also still would like to exercise my free will and do something instead of sit here listening to people to "sit and wait for things to come around." I don't over pursue or do anything to freak the women out. I'm direct with them, and if there's nothing there, then god damnit, I move on. Sure, I'll get a hooker. That's a great story to tell your kid or future significant other.

 

"Honey, I have slept with a prostitute before. That's the kind of guy I was. I never got tested. Do you think you have herpes?"

 

Screw that crap.

Thing is, he's absolutely right. You're over-analyzing. Don't think, just do. Be aggressive but don't be creepy. And don't be overly nice or you'll get stuck in a friend zone quickly. The sarcastic, funny asshole works most of the time.

 

And you never have to tell anyone about being with a hooker.

[WilliamTell]

Man, I've been in the same position (outside of the not talking for 2 months thing) for a while. You have to just suck it up and give her an ultimatum. It's not worth sticking around so long in limbo where there is clear mutual interest but nothing is happening.

 

Yeah I'm at the point in trying to decide if she's even worth trying for. If a girl is going to flip that quickly I don't really want to be around her. I might give it a few days before I try to talk to her again and if I still want a relationship I'll give her an ultimatum. I'm finally getting out of the shock factor. Things seemed to good to be true, turns out they might have been too good to be true.

[WilliamTell]

So what you're saying is I need to go put some money on the Twins for the Central. Crap.

 

lol NEVER!

 

hopefully she wasn't the reason of success. 11-0 tonight is a good start to proving that!

[SoxFan1]

Yeah I'm at the point in trying to decide if she's even worth trying for. If a girl is going to flip that quickly I don't really want to be around her. I might give it a few days before I try to talk to her again and if I still want a relationship I'll give her an ultimatum. I'm finally getting out of the shock factor. Things seemed to good to be true, turns out they might have been too good to be true.

Ya, I didn't have to decide. Sexy cheerleader, easy to talk to, loves sports, and even more importantly, knows what the hell she's talking about. The only thing I don't like about this girl is her insane love of Tim Tebow.

[BearSox]

Ya, I didn't have to decide. Sexy cheerleader, easy to talk to, loves sports, and even more importantly, knows what the hell she's talking about. The only thing I don't like about this girl is her insane love of Tim Tebow.

Wow, thats awesome! What's his name?

 

 

 

 

[BrenBlackwood]

Ya, I didn't have to decide. Sexy cheerleader, easy to talk to, loves sports, and even more importantly, knows what the hell she's talking about. The only thing I don't like about this girl is her insane love of Tim Tebow.

 

I dislike that Tim Tebow ..he just makes me cringe.

[The Beast]

Is marriage nothing more than a contract between two people?

 

Oh, and f*** Tim Tebow. He can take his anti-abortion campaign and shove it up his A-S-S.

Edited August 2, 2010 by The Beast

[Controlled Chaos]

Is marriage nothing more than a contract between two people?

 

Oh, and f*** Tim Tebow. He can take his anti-abortion campaign and shove it up his A-S-S.

What the hell kind of question is that?

 

As for Tebow...I never saw an anti abortion campaign, but this is not the place to discuss that or the shoving of anything up someones ass.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Controlled Chaos

[The Beast]

I know, the question about marriage seems ridiculous but it is widely debated at another forum that I've read. I'm not actually buying into it being just a contract between two people. But with all of the divorce and marriages failing in the US, I do question the concept of marriage, even if I would like to get hitched one day.

[iamshack]

Is marriage nothing more than a contract between two people?

Yes.

Give me one other difference between it and long-time couples who aren't married.

[BrenBlackwood]

I know, the question about marriage seems ridiculous but it is widely debated at another forum that I've read. I'm not actually buying into it being just a contract between two people. But with all of the divorce and marriages failing in the US, I do question the concept of marriage, even if I would like to get hitched one day.

 

 

I believe in marriage. I believe that it's not just a momentary, "oh, I'll just try it and see what happens" thing. It's something that takes a lot of time and dedication to make it work. ..I think that people don't take it seriously enough and have made a joke out of it. It's also better to be married should something happen to your significant other. (God forbid) Even if you've spent a s*** ton of your life with that person, built a life with them and they die ...you're not entitled to anything. Their family could screw you over big time ..so IMO, if you're going to spend your life with someone anyway, why not make it legally binding???

[iamshack]

I believe in marriage. I believe that it's not just a momentary, "oh, I'll just try it and see what happens" thing. It's something that takes a lot of time and dedication to make it work. ..I think that people don't take it seriously enough and have made a joke out of it. It's also better to be married should something happen to your significant other. (God forbid) Even if you've spent a s*** ton of your life with that person, built a life with them and they die ...you're not entitled to anything. Their family could screw you over big time ..so IMO, if you're going to spend your life with someone anyway, why not make it legally binding???

Because of the number of marriages that end in divorce, and quickly, at that.

[bigruss]

I do believe that if you are dating someone then you should be loyal to them and all that jazz, but if youre not a religious person what more does marriage do for you besides the tax benefits (I believe there are some, I could be wrong).

 

I mean, why dont people just say that they are committed to each other, why make it such a big deal and so complicated with a marriage. I would much prefer to be in a committed relationship than a marriage because if it ever does fall apart (which many of them do) than you dont have the mess.

 

A marriage is a front for a committed relationship most of the time anyways, its a way to show youre committed but really doesnt mean anything alot of the time.