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shoeless_joe21

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Posts posted by shoeless_joe21

    Fire Pedro Grifol

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    At this point, just give managerial duties to a random fan every game. It'll improve attendance, and will lead to just as few wins.

    Announce it Price is Right style too, so the winner has to run screaming all the way from their seats down to the field.

    "Bill Kowalski of Orland Park...COME ON DOWN! You're the next manager of the Chicago White Sox!"

    "It's going to take time"

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    10 hours ago, Quin said:

    Jake Burger IV will have to be like, 19-20 in this scenario, so he's got just as much uncertainty as Glorbatron the Destroyer.

    You're telling me you're passing up The Destroyer for Burger #4?

    That's a good point. Although, Glorbatron did fall off KeithLaw-GPT's top 100 following the trade.

    Just don't underestimate how much the fans love Burger IV. He isn't a traditional descendent. He's a clone of the original Jake, but with Achilles heels made from synthetic super flesh and a full head of hologram hair.

     

    • Thanks 1
    • Haha 2

    "It's going to take time"

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    The year is 2097.

    The White Sox have just traded fan favorite Jake Burger IV for top prospect Glorbatron the Destroyer. It is hailed as the final piece of the rebuild.

    Team owner Jerry Reinsdorf seems reinvigorated.

    • Haha 5

    Fire Pedro Grifol

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    Grifol would make outrageous claims, like Gavin Sheets invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

    • Thanks 1
    • Haha 4

    Is DeJong key to season

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    14 hours ago, JoeC said:

    “Paul DeJong sampled a Bong” sounds like the start of a Humpty Dumpty style poem

    Paul DeJong sampled a bong.
    Paul DeJong sampled all game long.
    All Pedro's coaching and all Jerry spent,
    couldn't make Paul DeJong FAST again.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

    Cease To Padres per Passan

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted · Edited by shoeless_joe21

    11 hours ago, South Side Hit Men said:

    That would require DFAing just about every position player acquired this offseason. Not sure how Getz would explain this to Jerry.

    I have to imagine Chris Getz specifically must be petrified of telling Jerry how promotions are often based on merit.

    • Like 2
    • Haha 1

    Cease To Padres per Passan

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    Thorpe's strikeout numbers are gaudy, his control is pinpoint, and his change is pure filth. I'm okay with him not being some jacked fireballer, like the version of Kopech we traded for. The guy can flat-out pitch.

    • Like 5
    • Thanks 1

    Fire Chris Getz

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    This is the problem with retaining a coach who clearly sucks.

    Even someone as delusional as Grifol recognizes that he’s on the hot seat. He's in survival mode. His decisions are going to be based on what he deems best in the short-term, because that's all he's guaranteed to be here for.

    Finding out what we have in Colas, Sosa, Lee, etc. and being patient through their growing pains is what's best long-term (heck, probably short-term as well), but Pedro likely sees it as a one-way ticket out of town.

    • Like 2
    • Paper Bag 1

    Tim Anderson signs with MIA, 1Y/5M

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    The sour ending to TA's run will fade over time, but I'll always remember the Field of Dreams walk-off.

    I had gone on leave for several months from my job to care for my dad at the time. He was paralyzed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's). He was still the same person mentally, just trapped in his body. Watching TV had become his main entertainment, so I can't overemphasize how much events like that meant to him.

    Everything about that game was perfect. I grew up in Iowa, close enough to that field to have taken a field trip there as a kid. The entire sky turned this incredible pink color that night, which I'd never seen it do before or since. It was surreal to see our Sox playing under the same sky we saw out the window of my parents' place.

    Even if they'd only blown the lead in the top of the 9th, I would've been very grateful for the memory. But to walk it off like that made it beyond special to us. Thanks TA.

    • Like 8
    • Thanks 1
    • Fire 1

    ST Thread

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    7 hours ago, Eminor3rd said:

    This is going to be one of the most supremely brutal offenses I've ever seen in my life. But, since I already knew the window was closed during ST of 2023, I'm kind of over it -- and I'm legitimately curious just to see what a defense-only team looks like. How much will the pitching staff actually benefit? Will the dread I feel every time I watch them fail to convert a single baserunner be offset by the confidence I'll learn to feel about how they'll get out of jams?

    They're going to lose a lot of games, but they'll be clean ones. It's a sort of interesting experiment. At least on paper. In my head. Kind of.

    I'm with you.

    The funny thing is, I only expect our defense to be above average. But to our Sox fan eyes, it will look like a circus of cartwheeling Ozzie Smiths.

    • Like 1

    Cease To Padres per Passan

    in Pale Hose Talk

    Posted

    14 minutes ago, Baron said:

    I was reading Heymans article from yesterday. He "confirmed" that the package of prospects the O's just traded was what they offered to Getz for Cease. 

    Really makes me wonder what Getz wanted that they considered to be asking for the moon.

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