January 6, 200422 yr red rocks and s*** AP- In attempts to seek out life through out our galaxy, NASA scientists have discovered red rocks and a vast landscape of gravel. Dr. John Seizmore stated to a captivated audience that "all along we've been searching for life or the essential elements for life, but never in our wildest dreams did we think we'd uncover the grandest and most vast display of red rocks ever." In related news, several geological firms have put in bids for harvesting this "forest of rocks." Area landscaper, Chet Wilkins, was thrilled by this new discovery. "As if we didn't have enough choices for decorative rock design; s***, now they throw in this whole new color?!?." But some are not as excited by this use of public funds for recreational delight. "As if we didn't have enough f***ing rocks on our OWN planet? Our government goes out there and manages to spend billions of dollars to find out what my uncle richie could have told you over a drink at the local pub: "Mars? It's made of rocks...and it's f***in' red..."
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