This is an original piece of work by PA. It documents over 5 years of working with the public. It is a list of my favorite types of customers. Some explanation may be needed for some, others will be painfully obvious.

 

 

1) The Déjà Vu aka “I swear I’ve seen you here before” aka "one bank visit per day please"

2) The Phone Booth aka “Please go ahead and make your call”

3) The Wind Talker aka “I’m sorry, but I’ll need a Navajo Indian to decipher this code”

4) The Lewis and Clark aka “On the way to finally determining the answer to your question, I discovered the Pacific Ocean”

5) The Sprinter aka “Roger Bannister was really just trying to make a deposit at his bank”

6) The Migrant Worker aka “Como Se Dice, “Let’s see your Green Card?””

7) The Soccer Mom aka “The Queen of the Universe” aka "the world revolves around this middle aged white female"

8) The Grumpy Old Man/Woman aka “Apparently Age does justify being an a-hole”

9) The Deceiver aka “I’ve been doing this for months now” aka "I'll say anything to get you to cash my check"

10) The Defiler “What could you have possibly eaten and/or done to make this bathroom look and smell this way?” aka "the reason we say our bathrooms are marked "private"

11) The Jail Bait aka “Seventeen…oh, seventeen”

12) The Stink Bug aka “Heavy Disinfectant required post-transaction”

13) The Tobacconist aka “I live in, near, or operate my business around or in an ash tray or spittoon”

14) The Line Jumper aka “Step right up, I wasn’t doing anything important anyway” aka "the ropes are there for a reason, please use them"

15) The Mind Reader aka “Oh, so that’s what you meant by leaving the deposit slip blank”

16) The Purse Plop aka “This make take a few days” aka "Nomadic Tribes carry less with them than what you have in your huge ass purse"

17) The Account Hostage aka “You better do this or the Account is gonna get it!” aka "I probably have a serious history of overdrafts and low balances, but you better do what I say or I'll close my accounts!" (Please do)

18) The Life Story aka “The Pandora’s Box of story tellers” aka "twenty minutes later I still don't care about your scuba diving trip in Barbados"

19) The Perfect Accountant aka “My sticky notes and mangled credit card receipts are clearly more accurate than your expensive electronic computer database”

20 a) The Stare-er aka “Are you worried that I’m gonna run out the front door with your checks, or am I that attractive/ugly to you?”

20 B) The Stare-er’s Kid aka “I know you want a stupid lolli-pop, but now you’re not gonna get one because you won’t stop staring at me…I hope you learned your lesson”

21) The Leaner aka “Trust me, there aren’t government secrets or racey pictures on the computer screen…please back away from the desk”

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed the fruits of my work. Gawd I hate working with the public.

I'm sure you must brighten the day of every customer you come in contact with.

at the bank we refer to customers as numbers based on this list.

Working at a bank (the first time I was in grad school) - this list is pretty damn familiar.

 

for the record, there a bunch of people I do enjoy coming into the bank.