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Rick Santorum

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Santorum n. the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter at the finish of anal sex

--winning definition for Santorum in the "Savage Love" column

 

This is a little letter from my friend Adam that he wrote to a local newspaper.

 

For a guy who spent most of his time alone in the hills with twelve other men, you'd think Jesus would have had a soft spot in his heart for homosexuals. Even if it was a hard one, homosexuals should still be allowed to marry just like heterosexuals are.

 

I could make the argument that this nation was founded on the idea of individual liberty. I could also mention a little thing we call the separation of church and state. Since those arguments never seem to make it through the skulls of Bible thumpers, I'm not going to try those.

 

Instead, I'd like to point out some other things. According to the Bible, it's a sin to divorce your spouse, and yet nearly half of American marriages end in divorce. According to the Bible, it's a sin to masturbate, but I doubt you can find a man in America who isn't busy killing kittens with every spare moment. According to the Bible, we shouldn't be lending money at interest, drinking alcohol, or eating pork.

 

I also remember a few lines about judging people and casting stones, but maybe I'm not misinterpreting them correctly. If we're going to start making our laws according to the Bible, why start with this one?

 

I think its because a few insecure and ignorant people want to perpetuate their bigotry against one of the last minorities that it's still acceptable to persecute. Either that or Americans want mortal law to fix that little flaw in divine law that allows us all free will.

 

Maybe it's just me, but I thought America was about the allowing everyone the pursuit of happiness, not helping us resist what some consider temptation.

 

I'm a vegetarian, and I think everyone should learn to resist the urge to eat meat. Would I ever support a law making it illegal for someone to shove a hot dog down his or her throat? No.

actually in that otherewise great letter, one mistake - not a sin to masturbate in the Bible. Not called either way.

 

unnatural combining of fabrics is a violation of the deuteronomic code so polyester and nylon are sins, as is wearing say cotton and wool at the same time

actually in that otherewise great letter, one mistake - not a sin to masturbate in the Bible.  Not called either way.

 

unnatural combining of fabrics is a violation of the deuteronomic code so polyester and nylon are sins, as is wearing say cotton and wool at the same time

what about wearing satin and flannel at the same time, is that a sin????if so then i have to go change real quick........ :D

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