http://sportsline.com/mlb/story/6474355

 

-First base: Mo Vaughn, Mets-ruined the Mets

 

-Second base: Roberto Alomar, White Sox-ruined the Mets

 

-Shortstop: Rey Sanchez, Mets - busted getting mid-game haircut

 

-Third base: Adrian Beltre, Dodgers -struggling to hit .200

 

-Catcher: Brandon Inge, Tigers - hitting .150

 

-Left field: Pat Burrell, Phillies - hitting .192

 

-Center field: Ruben Rivera, Giants -baserunning gaffe

 

-Right field: Sammy Sosa, Cubs - corkeeee

 

-Designated hitter: Juan Gonzalez, Rangers - wouldnt waive no trade clause to Montreal

 

-Starting pitcher: Jeremy Bonderman, Tigers- 3-13 record

 

Closer: Jay Witasick, Padres -injured arm while tossing garbage bag

 

Pinch-hitter: Randall Simon, Pirates -whack the sausage

Manager: Jerry Manuel.... need I elaborate?

"cough, cough, KONERKO, cough, cough"