The Sir

His pinned tweet FWIW. Note the date. https://mobile.twitter.com/hesser_tom/status/1075935457626738688

I'm borderline considering logging off for a week or so and not looking at anything until then. Unfortunately, a good portion of my job entails sitting at my desk and responding to emails so if I get bored, this attempt at abstinence will quickly end.

I'd identify about a hundred posters who have signed up for SoxTalk but never posted even a word, and maybe old timers who seemingly disappeared, and I'd PM it to them. Then I'd sign out and see what happened. Who are these people, and do those who vanished return?

You inspired me. I figured it out. I did it. And like this pencil, ta-da, he's...gone!

Whoa, did some Google Maps snooping around Toto. That's a podunk ass town even by Texas standards. Although Doole probably beats it still. I've driven through Doole a couple of times. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre bad. Doesn't help that there's a bunch of run down, pretty much destroyed houses, and then one house that's rather well kept and somewhat distant from the main road. I suppose they ate everybody else. Creepy as fuck.

Jack, we agree on something!?

Yep. That's pretty much how it goes. I wasn't always a weekend warrior (used to be active duty), but that probably has a lot to do with it too. Even if I try to work out now as much as I did then, I'm probably not capable of working myself as hard as I did when I had some professional asshole screaming at me and calling me a pussy for sweating too much, every single day. That's motivational in its own little way, I suppose.

Based on that, I'm guessing we're about the same age. Age has a funny effect, doesn't it? When I joined the military, I could run my two mile requirement in close to the minimum, 13 minutes or so. These days, I don't feel fatter, and my knees aren't bad, but I'm sure as hell slower. I'm happy to break 16 minutes on my fitness test, and it doesn't improve no matter how much I run. Maybe this looks very tangential. I guess it made sense to me because we were talking about Soul Survivor as a running track. I take pride in being an old man mentally, but becoming one physically kinda sucks.

OK, I'll shut up about music now, but here's two last ones for you guys: Good songs and advice. It's happening tomorrow. Why should we worry? Take it easy!

I mean, if I was going to sign a 7 year, $250 million contract with the Chicago White Sox tomorrow, I'd dress like the dudes in that video. Hair, mustache, jackets, everything.

This.

This is probably a longer conversation about music than I've ever had in my life. I'll keep going just for you though, buddy!

OK, keep in mind this is coming from me, and I'm already getting shit for elevating Whitesnake and Journey to legend status, and will probably get more for saying that Toto and GnR are fucking great too, but a really awesome running song is Young Jeezy's Soul Survivor. That's the shit that speeds me up. If I'm not listening to Jimi, of course.

I listened to the whole first one, and very quickly on the second one. First one's got a catchy beat. That deep three-peat beat that resounds through the first one (forgive my terminology, I'm not a musician; my wife is, she'd probably freak out that I'm that dense) is mesmerizing. So it's not bad. Definitely didn't regret listening to it, and I appreciate you dropping it in. Just when you say golden age, I think best ever. Is this really the best ever? Don't really know what you mean about record labels curating, because I just don't know this history, but I know what's out there. Think Voodoo Chile. Think about that intro. THAT is golden age, dude. And apparently, my love for Whitesnake is controversial. Whatever. They got that chick who beat the shit out of Chuck Finley to dance on their hood. Can't be too bad!

What the hell is mumble rap? Is that an actual genre, and not just a pejorative term for all rap from people who don't like rap?

Golden age? Golden age was Led Zeppelin. Journey. Jimi Hendrix. Rolling Stones. Whitesnake. I realize I'm jumping around about three decades here, but that was the golden age. Legitimately, what defines this golden age? Show me something that you think represents how good shit is today, and I'll check it out.

Offensive is a noun to describe a massive military attack. Nothing else. Unfortunately, I see where you're coming from. When I was in grad school a few years ago, our professor used the scene from Forrest Gump where his mother bangs the principal to get Forrest enrolled in his school to make some greater point. I thought it was hilarious. My classmates, on the other hand, were shocked, and not in a good way. Maybe it makes me obnoxious, but I'm really not offended by much. I know who Pete Davidson is because he got all that shit for making that joke about Navy SEAL Congressman Dan Crenshaw looking like a hitman in a porno because of his eye patch. People were suuuuuuuper offended. I'm a Soldier and an Afghan vet, but I thought it was funny. My favorite jokes are the ones that make fun of people like me.

I dunno, man, I just see it as not worth knowing. My students are great, but the music they listen to is shit. The main movies they talk about are the Purge series, and those movies blow. Social media turns people into fucking morons (disclaimer: I use Facebook as a picture archive because I'm too much of a luddite to figure out how a thumb drive works). I'm a smart guy, and I love learning new things, but pop culture today is really, really terrible. I do like Ed Sheeran though.

Most of what I know about this shit comes from the high school students I teach. Some of my coworkers joke that I'm a younger version of Principal Vernon from The Breakfast Club. Which happens to be on TV right now, and uh, yeah, I definitely see it.

I honestly have no idea who that is. I could identify a picture of the Russian Foreign Minister during WWI without help, but that guy? Nope. I'm very proud of my total ignorance of modern pop culture.

If that's the case, does it mean Bryce Harper is Major Kong?

Yeah, the jacket and chain are pretty Tony Montana. But it's those shades, man. Those shades are weird. Maybe it's not Bond villain, maybe it's Dr. Strangelove.

You only ever seen one Bond movie? ?