Dubya's White House Daze

January 8, 2004

Dear Diary -- My State of the Union Speech is comin up soon & fer once I'm lookin forward to it. And the best part is Karl promised that I'll get ta give at least four more of em.

Although Karl did admit he's just a teeny bit worried about that nasty Dean feller on accounta he's such a loose cannon. He says if Dean's the candidate I'm gonna have ta do a lotta extra debate practicin, cause Dean's the kinda guy that might make me lose my temper. I joked that these days everybody makes me lose my temper. That Karl has no sensa humor.

Anyway, I don't know see why I have to debate anybody. After all, I captured Saddam, and that's all anybody needs ta know.

But Karl says I won't be able to get outta at least a coupla debates, but that I'll be fine. Especially since I'm way taller than Dean & the tall guy always wins.

He also wants me ta watch some of my 2000 election tapes so I can remember how ta do my moderate, humble foreign policy, compassionate conservative shtick. Damn! I was hopin I'd only haveta use the cowboy act, which is a whole lot easier. Plus it gives me an excuse ta hang out at the ranch, clear cedar, and throw horseshoes at Barney.

Like I told Karl, I'm not worried about the election cause my pal Pat Robertson says God's on my side and that I'm gonna win no matter what. But Karl says God or no God, I still have to practice my SOTU speech.

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