This is an entry from a kid I know in virginia, I found it to be pretty damn hilarious. Enjoy if you've got time to read it...

 

I'd bet anything that he's not related to me. His blood isn't the same that runs through my veins, his heritage is not similiar to mine, and we don't have the same parents. No, it's all a coincidence. A conspiracy, even. We just happen to have the same last name, come from the same family, look similiar, and have identical personalities.

 

They say he's my brother. But the world often lies. Like that kid who told me girls don't have cooties.

 

And while I might get involved in my fair share of idiotic situations, my brother is definietly ahead of me in that category. But today, I believe he leaped out of that category altogether, and made a new one reserved for himself. It's called "how to be a moron: for dummies."

 

So Einstein walks in the door this afternoon, after coming home from a movie, wearing a short sleeve shirt, which I'm sure got along extremely well with the negative tempatures and several inches of snow outside. My mom asked where his jacket was, being the reasonable parent that she is. His response was slightly hesitated, as if he was planning another mode of attack. But there was no attack to be planned, because every side of this battle was surrounded by stupidity.

 

I don't think I'll ever forget the words that escaped his lips. If I ever write a book, they will be included. Some how, some way.

 

Oh, my jacket? Well, see, while I was in the movie, I spilled a TON of cheese on it. So I just threw it away.

 

The statement rolled off his tongue with ease, as if he was trying to cover up for an accidental fart he had just unleashed.

 

My mom remained speechless for a few seconds, unsure of how to react. Should she be glad that her 12 year old son had made it this far, and had yet to kill himself a freak glue accident? Or should she be pissed that he threw away an article of clothing as if it was a used condom, and had somehow missed the invention of the washing machine?

 

Unfortunatly for Stuart, my mother chose the latter.

 

What resulted was my brother almost being magically transformed into Picaso, afer his ear almost got pulled off. By my mom. As she dragged him by his earlobe to the car, I couldn't help but giggle. And by giggle, I mean laugh. And by laugh, I mean I needed a fresh pair of pants.

 

I've never seen my Mom peel out of our driveway, or any other parking lot for that matter. But as the tires squeeled, and the smoke rose, I knew my brother was in for a treat. He was getting treated to a rather large treat, actually. Straight from hell. Because after having his ear ripped to shreds, he was driven back up to Regal, and forced to search through the trashcan and retrieve his cheese-infested jacket.

 

And when they got home, Mom stuffed Stuart in the washing machine, added twice the recommended amount of detergent, and let him drown for being so retarded.

 

Ok, so maybe I am a chronic liar. But that's exactly what I would have done.

 

LMAO..... ...

 

Or should she be pissed that he threw away an article of clothing as if it was a used condom, and had somehow missed the invention of the washing machine?

very amusing. now how come you can't be funny like that aboz??? heheh, kidding

is it okay to insert a sox4lifeinpa joke here?

is it okay to insert a sox4lifeinpa joke here?

Do you even have to ask? He is the official Soxtalk whipping boy. Just abuse away.

Do you even have to ask?  He is the official Soxtalk whipping boy.  Just abuse away.

whatever guy. this place is dead without me...I saw the desperation.

 

and I'm only a few people's whipping boy. definitely pro-rated.