Pale Hose Jon Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Linky There are two types of misery. One is being so close to a championship you can read the vintage on the label of the champagne bottle ... only to watch everything roll away between the first baseman's legs. The other is losing so many games for so many years that there are cases of bubbly in the clubhouse that have been gathering dust since Don Zimmer had hair. Six Facets of Misery Historic despair: How many seasons have left fans chanting "Wait until next year!" the day after pitchers and catchers report to spring training? Recent despair: In addition to fitted and adjustable caps, does the team store currently sell officially-licensed paper sacks for fans to wear on their heads? Historic pain: How many autumn memories leave fans shaking worse than a Bill Buckner bobblehead? Recent pain: Is the anguish so recent that most fans haven't repaired the TV screen yet? Intangible misery: While subjective, this category takes into account misery (as well as apathy) not necessarily reflected in the won-loss record or in ESPN Classic reruns. For instance, a loss in Texas just simply doesn't provoke the same level of misery as a loss in Boston. Especially once the Cowboys report to training camp. Misery outlook: Are fans looking forward to the current and near-future seasons or are they looking forward to their Fantasy Football draft? Which type of misery is worse for fans, to root for teams that lose painfully in the end or teams that lose at the beginning, the middle and the end? Look at it this way. Would you want to be rejected so often that a member of the opposite sex hasn't appeared with you in public for 15 years without a restraining order? Or would you rather have a long relationship with a supermodel who lets you get as far as third base, then suddenly leaves you at the altar while she runs off with your worst enemy, leaving you feeling rotten and on the hook for the priest, the band, the florist, the caterer and the final 20 payments left on the engagement ring? Which one is worse, to root for a team that always loses or to root for a team that falls painfully short of winning it all? That's easy. Whichever situation your favorite team is currently in. But we're weighing both types of misery equally in Page 2's new Misery Index of baseball fans. The Misery Index is a 60-point system that measures two types of fan misery -- despair (produced by losing seasons) and pain (brought on by agonizing ends to winning seasons). There are six 10-point categories in the Misery Index (see table). It's said that misery loves company and the Misery Index proves it. As the following rankings show, there are a lot of fans who would have loved to have been in position to curse Grady Little and Steve Bartman last fall. Sox are #4 Cubs are #3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonkeyKongerko Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Our intangible misery is a 10?? Wow well I still think the rankings are pretty accurate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Hmm, Yankees in 30th with a 6 in intangible because they are owned by George Give me that kind of pain If they do this for hockey, we have to be #1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AssHatSoxFan Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 i feel our pain bruthas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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