Cows

 

Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that

our government can track a cow born in Canada almost

three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps

in the state of Washington.

 

Also they track her calves to their stalls. But they

are

unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering

around Canada and the USA

 

The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow.

As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

 

 

Joe sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"

 

 

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

 

 

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

 

 

"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

 

 

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cock pit. Now it's the box office."

Union Rules

 

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" "No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered. Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules." The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20." "That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.. "I'd like her," he said. "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and she's next."

Pounder This!!!!

There is more money being spent on breast

implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.

 

 

That means that by 2020, there should

be a large elderly population with

perky boobs and huge erections and

absolutely no recollection of what to do

with them.