This one is for all of who:

a) have kids

B) had kids

c) was a kid

d) know a kid!

 

As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was

having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said,

"Daddy,look

at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

 

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny

fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending

to eat

them before I rushed out of the room again.

 

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her

fingers with a devastated look on her face.

 

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

 

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

A father walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.

 

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts

panicking, shouting for help.

 

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

 

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

 

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

 

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

 

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the

father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

 

"No," the woman replied. ....... "Divorce Attorney."