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                        October 22, 2004

 

(Today's list was originally published on January 25, 2000)

 

          The Top 12 Dark Moments in Music History

                          (Part I)

 

12> November 3, 1987:  Knowing how much her kids loved "Star

Wars," a naive Tipper Gore rushes home with a newly-bought

"Luke Skywalker and 2-Live Crew" CD.

 

11> August 16, 1969:  At a party for her 11th birthday, Madonna

Louise Ciccone is strangely unfazed when Vinny Martello

stuffs two ice cream cones down the front of her dress.

 

10> July 18, 1966:  "Let's let Ringo sing one.  No harm in that,

is there?"

 

9> September 22, 1968:  Baffled by audiences' lack of enthusiasm

about a deaf, dumb and blind shuffleboard champ, Pete

Townshend heads dejectedly down to the corner pub.

 

8> June 3, 1958:  In an attempt to impress his piano teacher,

young Barry Manilow changes keys in the middle of his

rendition of "Heart & Soul" -- three times.

 

7> September 2, 1997:  Lou Bega finishes "Mambo #4," decides his

symphony needs one more movement.

 

6> May 4, 1956:  In Toronto, Neil Young's tonsillectomy causes no

damage to his larynx, thereby not robbing him of his voice.

 

5> August 12, 1986:  "Congratulations Mr. Hanson -- it's another

boy!"

 

4> July 29, 1974:  "Soup or sandwich today, Ms. Cass?"

 

3> November 8, 1980:  Mark David Chapman can't quite scrounge

up $50 for shooting lessons.  A month later, his attempted

assassination of Yoko Ono goes horribly awry.

 

2> September 6, 1977:  Due to a misprint on his high school

schedule, Kenny G. attends "Sax Education" class.

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Dark Moment in Music History...

 

1> March 30, 1968:  An alien craft leaves a baby on the doorstep

of the Dion farm just outside of Montreal, Canada.

 

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  [        Copyright 2000, 2004 by Chris White        ]

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                        October 25, 2004

 

(Today's list was originally published on January 26, 2000)

 

        The Top 12 Dark Moments in Music History

                        (Part II)

 

12> July 16, 1993:  Shaquille O'Neal skips free-throw drills to

record his first rap album.

 

11> October 1, 1978:  Michael Jackson takes in "Peter Pan" on

Broadway and thinks how cool it would be to look more

like Sandy Duncan.

 

10> January 6, 1995:  Art Garfunkel gets three fewer hits than

David Crosby on eBay when "celebrity musician sperm" is

entered in the search box.

 

9> August 15, 1953:  Future songwriter Jimmy Webb forgets his

slice of birthday cake outside.  Moments later, it begins

to rain.

 

8> June 7, 1966:  "Hey, chaps, I'd like you to meet my new

girlfriend, Yoko."

 

7> July 23, 1956:  Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, "Boy, you're

nothin' but skin and bones.  You better put on some weight,

or people are gonna think you're sick!"

 

6> October 31, 1975:  At a costume party in Greenwich Village,

a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop

and a cowboy all decide, "This is too much fun to do just

once a year!"

 

5> November 17, 1984:  "Don't worry, Mr. Dylan, the novocaine

will wear off *LONG* before your recording session."

 

4> September 8, 1949:  In Bavaria, Richard Strauss dies.

September 8, 1949:  In Greece, Milos Muzak is born.

 

3> May 21, 1971:  In a meat-deprivation-fueled stupor, Paul

McCartney tells Linda:  "Hey, Luv, why don't *you* play in

the band?"

 

2> Sept. 17, 1955:  Young Michael Jagger gets his lips caught

in a Coke bottle for several hours.

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Dark Moment in Music History...

 

1> February 16, 1955:  After 15 minutes of sitting in a boat

listening to "Go Back Home, You Obnoxious Little Foreign

Brats!", humorless Disneyland execs decide to look for

another composer for their new attraction.

 

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  [        Copyright 2000, 2004 by Chris White        ]

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