LMAO at #6, 5, 4 and #2

The Top 15 Signs That You *Haven't* Married a Millionaire

                        (Part I)

 

15> Most people named Bubba haven't made it past "thousandaire."

 

14> He tells you that "finances are very complicated and you

shouldn't worry your pretty little head about it," but you

still don't see how a "liquidity problem" makes a millionaire

drive a Ford Fiesta.

 

13> "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs.

Chris White."

 

12> Guy in a limo asks you for Grey Poupon at the red light, but

all you can find is an empty Yoo-Hoo bottle and some packets

of Taco Bell hot sauce.

 

11> Got Silk?

 

10> You soon learn that "liquid assets" refers to the cash he

gets from selling his blood.

 

9> Millionaire:  money coming out the wazoo.

Your spouse:  fermented by-products of the improper digestion

of canned pork & beans coming out the wazoo.

 

8> His "special imported caviar" looks suspiciously like Cheez

Whiz and ground up Beer Nuts.

 

7> The pre-nup says he gets to keep the Chia Pets.

 

6> As you reach for the fancy canned peas, he gently steers

you toward the "stunning neo-minimalist earthen packaging"

of the generic brand.

 

5> The financial news report came on while you were making love

in the living room, and he didn't miss a beat.

 

4> He winces visibly when you insist on supersizing your dinner.

 

3> The moving company calls the honeymoon suite at Motel 6

to inform you that your grandmother's baby grand won't fit

through the door of the double-wide.

 

2> Two words:  NASCAR coasters

 

          and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign That

            You *Haven't* Married a Millionaire...

 

1> Your new wife's previous life:  famous Olympic figure skater

Your new wife's current life:  drunk b**** with hubcap