You know if you're from California if....

[chimpy2121]

Sorry Jason and all other Cali sox fans but I thought this would be pretty good with the current series going on.

(By the way, you know you are a dumbass when you cant even type the topic title correctly :banghead ....Can a mod fix that please)

You know you're from California if:

 

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

 

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

 

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a

conversation in English.

 

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is

named Flower.

 

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

 

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

 

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are

grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

 

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

 

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

 

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

 

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a

baseball

cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George

Clooney.

 

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

 

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

 

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news

station: "STORM WATCH."

 

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all

busy with their cells or pagers.

 

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour

early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

 

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

 

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

 

19. The Terminator is your governor.

 

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're

here illegally, they want to give you one.

Edited October 13, 2005 by chimpy2121

[Iwritecode]

You know you're from Illinois if...

 

1. You've never met any celebrities.

 

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

 

3. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.

 

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

 

5. You measure distance in minutes.

 

6. You know several people who have hit a deer.

 

7. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

 

8. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

 

9. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

 

10. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

 

11. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

 

12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

 

13. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

 

14. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

 

15. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

 

16. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.

 

Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."

 

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

 

18. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

 

19. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

 

20. You carry jumper cables in your car.

 

21. You don't pronounce the "S" in Illinois like the rest of the world.

 

22. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

 

23. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

 

24. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

 

25. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

 

26. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

 

27. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

 

28. You think that deer season is a national holiday.

 

29. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

 

30. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."

 

31. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and construction.

 

32. You know if another Illinoisian is from southern, middle, or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.

 

33. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of more.

 

34. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Illinois.

 

35. You actually like them and use White Castle burgers as a laxative.

Edited October 13, 2005 by Iwritecode

[Soxy]

You Might Be From Chicago If:

 

You know where Aladdin's Castle was

1. The "living room" is called the "front room."

2. You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at

people who do.

3. You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you

swear everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away.

4. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines."

5. You go to visit friends or family down south and laugh when they complain

about the traffic.

6. You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a White

Sox fan.

7. It's "Kitty corner" not "Katty corner."

8. You know the difference between The Loop and Downtown

9. You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it

as "pie"

10. You own celery salt

11. You understand that the primary is the official local election.

12. You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day

13. Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.

14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:

"Where's my coat at?" or "Can I go with?"

15. Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the

bun, "everything" is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.

16. You carry jumper cables in your car.

17. You drink "pop."

18. You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different

roads.

19. You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy,Eisenhower,Dan

Ryan, and the Edens

20. But you call the interstates "expressways."

21. You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern or Central Illinois."

22. You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."

23. You refer to Chicago as "The City"

24. "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in January 1986.

25. You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats

the Packers.

26. You buy "The Trib" and not the Tribune.

27. You know that despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the

Waterfront.

28. You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.

29. You picnic or ride your bike in the "forest preserve"

30. You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.

31.You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog.

32. You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

33. You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."

34. You understand what "lake-effect" means

35. You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station

they end up at.

37. You have ridden the "L."

38. You think your next-door neighbor is a cousin to Tony Soprano.

39. You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708,

312, & 815.

40. You have at some time in your life, used your furniture or a friend's

body to guard your parking spot in winter

41. You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a "side." Example:

"West Side," "South Side" or "North Side."

42. You know the phone number to Empire Carpet!

43. You know what a garache-key is!

[EvilMonkey]

19. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

 

 

You mean they are not??????/