February 22, 200620 yr Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning, Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! No hangover! NO bad side effects, Nothing! Then the phone rings...It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - nothing." "We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well, there's just one thing...." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No....." "Well, DON'T - 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 1-How can you tell if your wife is dead? Sex is the same but the dishes are stacking up in the sink! 2-Definition of a wife: (B)eautiful (I)ntelligent (T)alented ©harming (H)omemaker 3-What's the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years your job will still suck. ------------------------------------------------------------- Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, 20; your hair, 18; and your figure, 25." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying... "WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupted."I haven't added them up yet!"
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