WhiteSoxFan1

QUOTE(StrangeSox @ Apr 16, 2007 -> 06:47 PM) Here's what went wrong: She's 18. She was "taking a break" from her boyfriend (stupidest concept I've ever heard of). She still has feelings for him and likes him, otherwise she'd just break it off. She enjoyed the time with you, but she still wants him. You got used. Go find someone who doesn't have so many strings attached and enjoy yourself. That was exactly what I was thinking, but it might have backfired on her a little bit because I exchanged a few text messages with her a couple of hours ago. She mentioned that it doesn’t look like her and her boyfriend are gonna get back together, but I could still sense a vibe that she wasn’t all that interested in what I had to offer. After evaluating a lot of the situation and reflecting on the weekend I agree with the general consensus here. It really spelled trouble for me from the very beginning with a no win situation. However, I don’t regret it at all because it was a learning situation, and honestly I feel like I learned a lot since Im not in date situations all that often, especially since my break up. I can’t say id turn down an offer if she asked to hang out again, but I think for sure this time shed have to be broken up and not "on a break". Also from here on out it’s on her terms. Ive decided not to contact her or play back and fourth games anymore; she knows how to get a hold of me if she wants to. Im going to live my life as I was before I met her and continue doing the things I enjoy and just let the pieces fall as they do.

QUOTE(Steve9347 @ Apr 16, 2007 -> 02:49 PM) I'd get rid of the awful signature... wow, I feel so much better now.

It might be too early, but looking back, im just not quite sure exactly where it went wrong. It wasnt the greatest date ever I supose, but things felt like they went about as well as they could have considering the situation. We got along great, laughed a lot, both seemed to have more than enough to say in the sense that there wasnt really any awkward silences. I even got a text message after the date saying how much fun it was, and then bam, its cut off. I get a text saturday morning saying work sucks for her and I reply asking howcome, and I get nothing back. So I go out with some friends saturday night, and then hung out with my cousin most of yesterday. Then last night I tried just saying hey, via text and got nothing either. So I guess its time to "move along". Good experience though.

QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Apr 15, 2007 -> 12:48 AM) I don't want to seem rude, or like I'm picking on you, but what you're describign, with falling for whatever girl shows the slgihtest interest in you, seems like the behavior of a mid-teenager and not a twenty year old man. You need to break that bad habit soon. I agree, but in this day and age where people are having sex at age 14, I was quite a late bloomer. My first date was freshman year (15) relativly young I guess. Me and that girl dated for hardly 3 months and was my first kiss. Then I didnt have another date til right after i finished high school. So after a few dates here and there I finally lost my virginity at 19 on a fling and then before I knew it a few weeks later was the start of 2 year relationship. Now ive been tossed back out recently and as a previous posted said, its almost like im looking for someone to fill that relationship void.

QUOTE(RockRaines @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 11:39 PM) Here is my advice, because ive gotten burned when i was younger too. Mosty it was because I got out of a long relationship, somewhere inside of me, I wanted it back. You have to play things aloof. Not neccesarily be a jerk or a dick to her, but really put it into your brain that you dont really care if she likes you or not. If she tries to hang out with you, do it. If she wants to pay attention to you, be yourself. But do not go out of your way to talk to her, dont look at her talking to other people and wish it was you. Be your own person, do your own thing, always have it in your mind that you are perfectly ok without the broad. If she likes you, she will make an effort, and will keep making an effort. If she wants to just f*** with you, you already have the mindset that it doesnt really matter if you have her, or dont have her, so its all good. Alright sweet, and thanks for the advice. Thats actually exactly how ive planned on playing it. Im going to let her do the contacting. I actually think I have a similar problem you had, with the past relationship. Sure im pissed about being left and cheated on, but there is that void of companionship missing and comfortness that I miss and try to cling to. I know not to let it show and that I have to keep a much different outlook on things. Im getting a lot better even though it might not seem like it.

QUOTE(RockRaines @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 11:21 PM) Dude, dont fall for any girl that quickly or easily. You have to understand that the only way you will ever get a meaningful relationship is if there is actual work put into it. Let the girl convince you to like her that much, if she cant, throw her away and move on to the next one. Some girls prey on guys who fall that fast. I agree. I dont know if this one could or will do that, but just to be safe what do you suggest I do to make sure she doesnt. How do I "get the upper hand"

QUOTE(SleepyWhiteSox @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 10:44 PM) lol My advice is do what you feel is right and just don't regret it. As long as it isn't illegal and/or immoral, experience things for yourself, enjoy them, learn from those with unfavorable outcomes, and just don't regret it. Yea thats pretty much my take on it. To some it is stupid to stay with a no win situation that you might get hurt in but at this point I think its better to just learn from the situations. On top of that as sad as it sounds its not like I have anything else going on at the moment. Most likely id just be at the gym or sitting at home last night if I didnt hang out with her. QUOTE(RockRaines @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 11:12 PM) You are going to keep getting s*** on over and over until you break your typical pattern of falling for whatever girl shows you the least bit of interest. I know ive definatly changed my attitude especially for this one. Im not going to allow myself to fall for this girl especially knowing the situation. What I mean by changing too is that I will in no way show any signs to her that I could be "falling"

QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 10:31 PM) Just ask yourself: What would Sanjaya do?

QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 10:04 PM) No, you end up getting attached to this girl and then she ends up getting back with her boyfriend. If you know this is a lose/lose why are you even bothering? Well ill eat crow if it comes to that. Im sure it will come to that if we hang out a few more times. As for lose/lose and why do it? Its because im too stuborn. Im a shy guy at heart so I dont have a lot of social situation especially with females so when I get attention I love it and I already know id rather hang out with her even knowing the situation rather than sitting around lounging,working or going to the gym like regular routine.

QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 09:51 PM) At least promise us that when this disaster blows up youll come back and eat crow Well what do you mean by that though? I kind of know its a lose lose situation for me. What exactly would qualify as blowing up on me? Her choosing her boyfriend over me?

QUOTE(Gregory Pratt @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 09:46 PM) Maybe you answered this earlier, but I'm just curious -- how old are you? im 20

QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 09:37 PM) You wont have that problem regardless in a better situation than a girl thats just on the rebound and taking a break. You sound like you have trust issues and youre just settling with this for the wrong reasons. My advice is just to be careful, the more you hang out with this girl the more attached youre gonna get. I do have a tad bit of trust issues, but im working on them. Im just not a very socially active person so when I do get attention(like last night) I tend to get over attached. Ill be fine, always am. Im always going to have my eye out for other prospects, but id be lying if I said I wouldnt hang out with this girl again.

QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Apr 14, 2007 -> 09:19 PM) If you really do get attached easily I would seriously cut this off pretty soon. Im gonna have that problem reguardless though. Ive attached to people too early in the past, and even got cheated on and left after a 2 year relationship, so ive been through enough to know ill get over it, if it does happen. The good thing I can notice right now, is that im not at all attached to her, maybe because I knew the situation going in, but right now, more attached to having fun last night with someone and being out of my regular routine and comfort zone.

Well f***, I already know this is probably blown. Did I have confidence? yes, but theres just no way I can play the confident asshole role as I read about and tried to pull off. Im just genuinely too nice of a person, and she even mentioned it. Im going to have to find someone to just accept that. We went bowling and then went out to eat. It was a late late hangout since she didnt get off of work til around 10. Nothing happen other than kissing. After all was said and done, I got the usual I had fun line as we called it a night, and then even a text message a half hour after saying again she had tons of fun and we should do it again sometime. I really got the vibe she descirbed though, that for her its just out to have fun not looking for anything. For me im glad I knew that coming in since I fall pretty hard and easy, but it does make it a little easier knowing before hand not to expect much. Im a little caught off guard because I thought things went pretty good last night, and then this morning I decide to check my myspace and she’s got one of those myspace bulletins's saying that today is really s***ty. So I tried asking her what was wrong and her reply was 'work', and then she quickly just signed off. That seemed kinda b****y and mean, but maybe im over thinking things now. Hanging out last night beats the hell out of the regular routine of going back to the gym tonight that’s for sure.

QUOTE(BearSox @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 09:42 PM) get in, get out, and get on with your life... JMO What DB said.... sadly??? at the time it was alright....well except for when shed want to continue watching it after I already was done. Then I had no more interest in watching. Also though sometimes feel like I should have saw getting cheated on and left by her coming. I got spoiled because everything the porn stars did, she did. Now ive only been with 2 women sexually ( i know sad) but when I think of girls who are completely wild like that, it makes me doubt their trust quite a bit.

QUOTE(Soxy @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 09:17 PM) Every woman (at least unconsciously) knows about that stuff. Oh I know. My latest ex, not only approved, but sadly was more into it than I was.

QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 09:03 PM) Above all else, don't tell her anything about the earthen pit in your basement. How about all the stolen money and porn in my closet?

QUOTE(Controlled Chaos @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 08:59 PM) doesn't matter she already has you pegged. but have fun with it. How am I pegged? Just because I didnt cancel?

QUOTE(BigSqwert @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 08:48 PM) Act like the Fonz. Not my generation. How about Joey Tribbiani?

for a second....who cares about her. How should I myself act tonight. I shouldnt show her that im totally interested right?

QUOTE(BigSqwert @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 06:30 PM) I think it's the person to the right on his sig. Im a "fanjaya" but not in a gay way. I know I know..."there is no other way"

id post a pic (sorry no cheerleading outfit or popsicles, lol) but knowing my luck someone will know her, or worse yet her bf/ex whatever, is a sox fan and posts here.

I think ill be alright. We decided on bowling, and im not even picking her up, were meeting there. Its hardly even a date more than just a hang out now. So now it should be nothing more than just something to do on a friday night.

QUOTE(DrunkBomber @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 04:44 PM) If you get attached easily, seriously dont even bother. It appears youve already made up your mind and are gonna go so i would just warn to be careful. First of all, shes using you, without a doubt you are a ploy to piss off her "ex" and you could get sucked into some kind of drama like fighting. Also, I wouldnt bank too much on this "fun" if shes been together with a guy that long I doubt shes looking for something like that right away. If shes already told you shes more than likely going to get back together with her ex than I doubt she would do anything to jeopardize her relationship. I really dont know her well enough to know her standards but while talking on aim last night she mentioned countless times how she loves making out, but it doesnt mean she gets attached. Im assuming it was all a hint and that its her plan for tonight. Any further than that? Your probably right in the sense that she wouldnt. I wouldnt turn it down though.

QUOTE(Kid Gleason @ Apr 13, 2007 -> 04:09 PM) You should be. It was a TERRIBLE time. If I went anywhere around the Carpentersville/Dundee area, he was sure enough to be there, and he was always seemingly looking for me. I swear, it had been about a year since I ran into him the last time, and sure enough he showed up, swearing his head off. I never fought him, due to his being psychotic. The last time I ran into him, if I remember right, was probably about 5 years after the date. I'm easy to find in a crowd, so he always remembered me. Luckily my hair has fallen out so now I look different! LOL! Well I guess ill just have to do what I have to do. As long as he isnt to tall, I feel id be able to hold my own. I really dont want to even think like that though. I dont want it to ever have to come down to that.