Dan Pasqua's FedEx Driver

Quite simply the greatest night I ever spent at Comiskey Park in my life. I got off the EL at noon, clutching "Boogie Oogie Oogie" in my hand so I could get in for 98 cents. By some miracle, we managed to get upper deck box right next to the press booth on the first base side behind home plate. Our music, our voice, our lifestyle, our ROCK was being threatened with extinction. If you didn't wear platform shoes, hang-glider leisure suits and 20 pounds of gold around your neck, you didn't exist. The Rolling Stones had sold out. PAUL McCARTNEY released "Goodnight Tonight". MY HERO WENT DISCO. Fahchrissakes, BLUE OYSTER CULT, my metal idols, had just released a disco album. (Remember "Mirrors"?) I always hated Rod Stewart, so f*** him anyway. Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll was being steamrolled by social status, fashion, coke, greed, money, and vacuous, empty, passionless music and women. (Gee, sounds like Wrigley Field today, don't it?) We had been sitting silently, watching the greatest musical idols of our childhood sell out to Studio 57 and the spinny, glittery disco balls and lit dance floors. Suddenly, you had to look a certain way, adpot a certain specific fake persona, to be accepted and admitted to bars and nightclubs. Yeah, I was 17 at the time, but we still could go to Wisconsin in that era. Steve Dahl was the voice of a downtrodden, yet proud generation. Rock was an endagered species. Keith Moon had just died. Our ideals, our souls, our passions were crumbling around us. I know so many people from that time that said listening to "Quadrophenia" basically saved their lives... But I digress. It simply had to happen. The day, the time, the era, the anger, the angst, the symbolism of that dumpster full of disco records on that night, the conditions were just too perfect...we were mad as hell and we weren't gonna take it anymore. The man with the greatest influence in Chicago culture at that time was STANDING UP FOR US!! He was the voice of our generation and he was followed onto that field. It wasn't a riot. Nobody got hurt. People made love behind second base. It was Woodstock without music or mud. It was a gathering of harmless kids basically having a simultaneous orgasm that someone finally stood up for them, for their passions, for the sound they grew up with, for the lifeblood of their heart and soul, rock and roll. I didn't go on the field that night...and I don't regret that...but I don't hold one damn bit of hostility for my fellow rockers who did. I swore I'd never do this...but I'm so moved right now, I'm going to put one of those silly wee moving heads at the end here...LONG LOVE ROCK 'N' ROLL!!!

I've been a season-ticket holder for 12 years. Nothing, not even the signing of Albert Belle, has or will turn me away from my White Sox, unless they stop tying to win. Ambivalence is the only unforgivable sin in my book. So I agree with my distinguished colleague Flasoxxjim that no postings af any kind on a message board should drive away the true fan, regardless of whether they're posted by Ozzie Guillen, Stephanie the beer vendor or Poppy Hildago. My course of action, however, has always been to not become involved in these "Dark Shadows" re-runs. I have my special circle of comrades on the board; the people involved in this have theirs; never the twain shall meet, and I've honestly had no problems with any of the people involved, none at all. My group keeps it harmless, shooing away pesky trolls, debating about who is the hottest teen star, going back and forth about the best Chicago pizza and hot dogs, that kind of thing. The bottom line is, this will only bother you as much as you let it. If the board was a bar, they'd be at their table railing back and forth at each other, we'd be out in the beer garden pitching horseshoes and debating Hillary Duff vs. Amanda Bynes. We all agree on Queen Rania of Jordan. If the fight spills out and spills my beer, then there's an issue. So far that hasn't happened to me, but I'm kind of shocked to see all the people who have been dragged into it. My original question still stands, and the reason I asked it is because my impression is that the Sox front office has to have a genuine concern about the poster in question. If I thought the Sox front office was aware of me and my silly little messages, I'd die of shock. So when I hear that they are monitoring the actions of another board member very closely, it causes me to wonder why they don't post their own message setting the record straight. That's still the part that puzzles me. If it's "beneath" them, I understand it, but if they're truly that concerned about the image of the franchise being tainted through misrepresentation, they should set the record straight. By the way, the Sox are in first place at the All-Star break. Double by the way, that entire conversation on the Sox board is gone now. Triple by the way, this is Queen Rania of Jordan:

Mr. Quickman: I've been reading through all of this from kind of a train-wreck perspective - and I do have one question, and it's more or less to fill in a huge missing piece of the puzzle for me. I don't recall if it was you or "Base Ball" who said this, (if it was Base Ball, then this question is directed there) but the statement was made that the Sox front office is well aware of the existence of the poster in question, has been for some time, reacted emphatically in favor of what you're doing, and, I believe one of you said they were even giving high-fives to each other in the office. That's all well and good, but over the past 24 hours we've seen this escalate to "Dark Shadows" proportions. What I'm wondering is this: If the front office has been aware of this for some time, and if they truly were concerned that someone posing as an influential member of the Sox organization was driving away paying customers, couldn't they themselves post a message on the Sox board to the effect of: "Dear White Sox Faithful; the opinions, attitudes and conduct of the poster in question in no way reflect the opinions, views or attitudes of the Chicago White Sox Professional Baseball Club. All aforesaid opinions are the exclusive creation of the poster himself and any and all claims of inside information or private discussions and decisions enacted by the Chicago White Sox, their staff, their players and the management team should be strongly disregarded." Would it be beneath them\unethical\unprofessional to make such a statement? Is there another reason they won't\can't do that? It just seems to me that if the White Sox front office is that aware and concerned, they'd set the record straight. I realize, of course, that "setting the record straight" and "White Sox front office" don't always go together, but I'm sincere when I say this is puzzling to me.

I know his wife, and he ain't lyin'... I stay on her good side whenever possible. She's a saint.

I actually have a happy, inspiring story about my Cub experience on Saturday. My friend and I were sitting in the car in lot "C", an endless sea of tail lights stretched out in front of us, and then, to my right, I saw a cute, stupid, drunken Cub girl dancing and drinking on the roof of her car. After about two minutes of encouragement, no actually, I think it was more like 10 seconds, she took her shirt off. I hopped out of the car, gave her $2, hopped back in the car, and we were all better off for the experience. My funny Cub story, though, actually happened at Busch Stadium on Thursday night. Two Cub goofs were about three rows in front of us, whoopin' and a'stompin' all night. And when the Cubs lost, they just sat there drinking and staring at the field. The Cardinal fans started dancing around them and posing next to them for pictures. I honestly have to say that they were really good sports about it, although maybe it's because they were incoherently drunk. Anyway, to make it even funnier, the one guy was wearing a Prior jersey and the other guy was wearing a Wood jersey. I present this...in the hope...that one day our two teams...will learn...to live...in peace.

This happened during the Cleveland series, was reported on the news last Thursday night, and Moronotti doesn't bother to mention it until his press parking privileges were revoked? GEE, DO YOU THINK THIS IS A PERSONAL VENDETTA? I really believe it's time for Sox management to stand up for themselves, their ballpark, their neighbourhood, their fans. They need to call ESPN and tell them that either Moronotti gets his ass thrown off the air, or they're pulling their games off of ESPN and moving to the SCORE. And I'd pull the ass hole's press credentials and ban him from the ballpark. For his own good, of course.