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Headlines we might see if we get Colon

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Imagine the possibilites for headlines if we get Colon.

 

Like:

 

Kenny has no guts but tries adding a Colon.

 

Sox get a Colon transplant from Canada.

 

Colon experiment coming to Chicago.

 

 

Any other ideas?

"Cubs bullpen looking good with Remlinger and Veres additions"

 

"Sox stink so much they get some Colon"

Constipated Sox get Colon Cleansing!

  • Author

Cubs cement Championship by signing Lenny Harris.

 

Sox still stink but attempt to start new chapter with a colon:

Smelly Sox Get Expensive French Colon

Does it really count as a headline when its buried on page 6 of the Tribune sports page, next to the high school basketball results and the odds on the races at Maywood Park? The front page will probably read something like, "Cubs scoff at Colon; chose not to add him to rotation" and then they'll have expert commentary from Phil Rogers and Rick Morrissey about how they'd rather have Kerry Wood's toenail clippings and Mark Prior's nose hairs instead of Buehrle, Colon, and Garland.

 

Ah, Chicago.

And then Mariotti, somewhere along the lines, would rip the trade....even if it were Liefer for Colon straight up....because he's a douchebag. I wish I could be Max Kellerman....I'd mute him on Around the Horn every time he tried to talk.

Trust me, something tells me that the Sox getting Colon would get headlines in both papers...it'd be the biggest story in chicago right now.

 

And if the Trib's coverage is bothering you, buy the Suntimes...it's cheaper ;)

Any other ideas?

Colon flushed from Expos.

"Williams trades for a Colon, later finds out he has the wrong one"

and when he has a bad game,

 

Colon loses control on mound; Marte called in to clean up.

If he ends up being a bad guy in the clubhouse:

 

Colon cancer in Chicago

JR: No "Colon" for Stinking Cheap Sox Fans

And if the Trib's coverage is bothering you, buy the Suntimes...it's cheaper  ;)

But just as s***ty....

 

No, wait... Even more.

and if the sox start to tank it (god forbid)

 

"Sox stink....and it ain't just Colon"

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