I don't know if this has been posted here before, but it's a good laugh.

 

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At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

 

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns," but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scale never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, 'Read my ellipse.' Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

An enjoyable read.

I came home from school hoping to read about baseball and I get more goemetry and such. It was a funny article though.

I don't know if this has been posted here before, but it's a good laugh.

 

******************************************************************

 

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested  trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a  setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

 

At a morning press  conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a  member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is  being charged by the FBI  with carrying weapons of math instruction.  "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,"  Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and  sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret  code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns," but we  have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of  medieval with coordinates in every country.  "As the Greek philanderer  Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle," Ashcroft  declared.

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If  God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have  given us more fingers and toes. "I am gratified that our government  has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs  who are willing to disintegrate us  with calculus disregard. Murky  statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the  President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate  their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned,  "These weapons of math instruction have the  potential to decimal everything  in their math on a scale never before seen unless we  become exponents of a  Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."  Attorney  General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, 'Read my ellipse.'  Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to  multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG

 

LOL

 

ROFL

 

LMAO

 

OMFLOLROFLMAOBOBDOLE

Finally, math teachers get what's coming to them.

Finally, math teachers get what's coming to them.  

LMAO....Now what can we do to the English teachers?

Don't even get me started on English teachers today......I got my report card with semester averages and such and she totally screwed me over. My geometry and english teachers are both man haters.

That was hilarious! Thanks for posting that.