You may have heard about this new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.

 

He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

 

-----------

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

 

 

 

We live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new

 

neighbor call the local township administrative office

 

to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on

 

our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit

 

by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there

 

anymore.

 

 

 

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

 

 

 

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a

 

taco. She asked the person behind the counter for

 

"minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only

 

had iceberg.

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

 

 

 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an

 

airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in

 

your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I

 

replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I

 

know? " He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we

 

ask."

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

 

 

 

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to

 

cross the street. I was crossing with an

 

intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she

 

asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained

 

that it signals blind people when the light is red.

 

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind

 

people doing driving?!"

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

 

 

 

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker

 

who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our

 

manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should

 

do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all

 

just looked at each other with that

 

deer-in-the-headlights stare.

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

 

 

 

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip

 

back into itself and for the life of her couldn't

 

understand why her system would not turn on.

 

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

 

 

 

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile

 

dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys

 

had been locked in it. We went to the service

 

department and found a mechanic working feverishly

 

to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from

 

the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door

 

handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I

 

announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he

 

replied, "I know - I already got that side."

 

 

 

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

And all of these people are in the gene pool