NOTE FROM CHRIS: The New York Times reports that Evangelist Pat Robertson will be introducing "cooler" versions of the Bible, in order to attract people who wouldn't normally be interested. Plans call for Hip-Hop and Country-Western Bible versions, and

the ad campaign will feature MC Hammer (*somebody* will lose

their job over that one) and Charlie Daniels, among others.

 

 

 

The Top 12 Stories in the Country-Western Bible

(Part I)

 

 

12> Daniel in the Cheatin', Drinkin' 'n' Lyin' Den

 

11> "...and even though the people begged to be let upon the

Ark, Noah did give them the finger."

 

10> Peter is released from his contract with the Jerusalem

Apostles after denying three times, in a widening

illegal-recruiting investigation, that he ever met with

Coach Jesus improperly.

 

9> Robertson 5:15 - "The Story of the *Original*

'Zionist-Occupied Government'"

 

8> Joseph-Bob and the Amazing Rhinestone-Studded Belt Buckle

of Many Colors

 

7> Sodom and Hey, That Feller's Lookin' At You Funny Again!

 

6> "...and Bobbi Sue begat Uncle Rufus, and Uncle Rufus begat

Jo Beth, and Jo Beth begat Cletus..."

 

5> Moses leads a mess o' kinfolk through a sea of red necks.

 

4> Jesus turns the water into Coors Light... and nobody notices!

 

3> "Jesus did moan and wail and gnash his teeth for he knew not

the steps to the Sandal-Scootin' Boogie."

 

2> "...and the burning bush his wife showed to Moses turned out

to be naught but an infection of yeast."

 

 

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Story in the Country-Western Bible...

 

 

1> "...and on the seventh day, God created JET POWERED FUNNY

CAR RACES AT THE COLISEUM!!! SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!"

 

 

 

 

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 1999, 2004 by Chris White ]

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7> Sodom and Hey, That Feller's Lookin' At You Funny Again!

lol....Coors light