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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SPORTS

http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml

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May 17, 2004

 

 

The Top 8 Signs You're Watching Sports in Hell

 

 

8> The referees don't carry whistles, just flame-throwers.

 

7> The Super Bowl pre-game show is six hours. The game itself has

two three-minute halves.

 

6> Playing first base is Bill Buckner, wearing oven mitts on both

hands.

 

5> ESPN Classic keeps stopping the Women's World Cup tape just

after Brandi Chastain scores her goal kick.

 

4> World Series Champs? Devil Rays.

Stanley Cup Winners? New Jersey Devils.

NBA Champions? Whichever team Dennis Rodman's on.

 

3> Instead of getting a flag for penalties, offenders burst into

flames.

 

2> ESPN: Men's Synchronized Swimming.

ESPN2: Zaire Cricket Finals.

ESPN Classic: The first grade T-ball game when you wet

your pants.

 

 

and the Number 1 Sign You're Watching Sports in Hell...

 

 

1> "And on this week's NBA One-on-One Challenge, Shawn Bradley

vs. Manute Bol!"

 

 

 

[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

[ http://www.topfive.com ]

Two words

 

"Cubs Win"

But the Devils always with the Stanley Cup?? Ohhhhhhhh wait