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Republican National Convention Agenda

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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

 

New York, NY

 

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

 

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

 

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

 

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

 

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Stratergies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

 

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

 

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

 

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!

 

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

 

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

 

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!

 

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

 

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

 

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

 

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

 

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 -- Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

 

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

 

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

 

10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

 

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

 

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

 

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

 

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

 

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

 

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy

 

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

 

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The

Dangerous New Cult

 

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

 

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

 

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

 

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

 

12: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary

Overlord

Couple interesting tidbits you missed

 

Haliburton will be catering the event for US$6,200,000

 

Bush will be signed in for every event.

 

Saddam will be on display along with a Bin Laden look alike contest, highlighting why it is so difficult to find him and arrest him.

You also forgot to add that, at 5:45 PM before things get underway all participants should check their souls with the attendant at the door. ;)

The Democratic agenda is much less complicated.

 

 

9 AM: "Das Kapital study session"

 

10 AM: Finish deciding whether to raise everyone's taxes by 20% or 25%

 

11 AM: John Kerry gives manditory " Pandering to jesse jackson speech"

 

12 PM: Lunch time ( MENU: Tofu, soybean burgers & bottled water )

 

1 PM: List of empty promises to pander to minority voters completed.

 

2 PM: Focus Group ( Looking at ways to weaken national defense )

 

3 PM: Focus group 2 ( Appeasing terrorism )

 

3 PM: Radical feminists, queer advocates, enviro nuts, socialists crash party demanding a say.

 

3:00:10 PM: John Kerry gives into their demands and changes everything he believes in for the 9th time of the day.

 

4 PM: Plan announced to disband the U.S. Military and sell off its equipment to China, Russia & N. Korea. Proceeds and annual savings used to reinstate welfare for the lazy and give a wedding present for homosexual marriages.

 

5 PM: John Kerry gets nominated, changes everything he believes in 3 or 4 times to make sure, then watches in horror as his poll numbers flatline.

3 PM: Radical feminists, queer advocates, enviro nuts, socialists crash party demanding a say.

 

This is when my Spanish teacher and my English teacher make appearances.

3 PM:  Radical feminists, queer advocates, enviro nuts, socialists crash party demanding a say.

Stupid radical feminists wanting equal pay for equal work, health care, paternity time off after a birth. They'll be the downfall of our country for sure.

Stupid radical feminists wanting equal pay for equal work, health care, paternity time off after a birth. They'll be the downfall of our country for sure.

there is a difference between a women who wants equal rights, and a fem-nazi.

 

I have female teachers who bring up the subject and say how it is wrong, but keep the conversation civilized.

 

Then there is my english teacher she goes crazy about it until her hair stands up.

 

My Spanish teacher says that when girls in our class are married they should not accept any money from their husbands, because she thinks it symbolizes that a women can not support herself.

My Spanish teacher says that when girls in our class are married they should not accept any money from their husbands, because she thinks it symbolizes that a women can not support herself.

:rolleyes:

there is a difference between a women who wants equal rights, and a fem-nazi.

I understand your point--discussion is key on these issues and shutting down dialogue will help no one.

 

But I have to ask, why are feminists nazis, I must have skipped over that part in my WWII class....

My Spanish teacher says that when girls in our class are married they should not accept any money from their husbands, because she thinks it symbolizes that a women can not support herself.

i'm all for that... :lol:

I understand your point--discussion is key on these issues and shutting down dialogue will help no one.

 

But I have to ask, why are feminists nazis, I must have skipped over that part in my WWII class....

feminists are not nazis. "Hardcore" feminists are sometimes referred to as nazis, but I am not calling all feminists nazis. I seperated feminists and fem-nazis in my previous post, I try not to generalize.

 

I did not creat the term, but if I had to guess I would say that 'fem-nazi' came from the way extreme feminists go about spreading their message.

 

For example, my teachers. My History teacher talks about the issues as a class, and gives us an opinion and then listens to ours. She is not a fem-nazi.

 

My Spanish teacher, will not listen to our opinions. In spreading her message she is similar to nazis. She shuts down the opposition, she makes generalizations, and she uses propoganda (she passes out news articles that have nothing to do with spanish class). She has said she will never marry a man of spanish/latin american decent because they are 'chauvinist pigs'.

 

There you have the difference between a feminist, and a fem-nazi.

i'm all for that... :lol:

Somehow I dont think most women will listen to that.

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