Some funnies..

OLD VERSION:

 

The ant works hard  in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up  supplies for the winter.

 

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs  and dances and plays the

summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper

has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the  cold.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

 

MODERN  VERSION:

 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a

fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer  away. Come winter, the

shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and  demands to know why

the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while  others are cold

and starving.

 

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures  of the shivering

grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable  home with a

table filled with food.

 

America is stunned by the sharp  contrast. How can this be, that in a

country of such wealth, this poor  grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

 

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah  with the grasshopper, and everybody

cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy  Being Green."

 

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the  ant's house where

the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then

has the group kneel down to pray to God for the  grasshopper's sake.

 

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an  interview with Peter Jennings that

the ant has gotten rich off the back of  the grasshopper, and both call

for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make  him pay his "fair share."

 

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity  and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"

retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The  ant is fined for failing

to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,  having nothing left to

pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated  by the government.

 

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the  grasshopper in a

defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried  before a panel of

federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of  single-parent welfare

recipients.

 

The ant loses the case.

 

The  story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of

the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to

be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain

it.

 

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

 

The grasshopper is  found dead in a drug related incident and the house,

now abandoned, is  taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once

peaceful  neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE REVISED STORY: Vote  Republican....