March 24, 200322 yr I found a website with a bunch of his quotes, for those who don't know Mitch is the kind of stand up who does a bunch of funny quick jokes as opposed to long funny stories, kind of like Steven Wright. Here are a few of my favs.... -I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs. Foosball f***ed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys. -I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. -My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first... -One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. You son of a b****, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera... -Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load s*** into a truck. Find your very own!! Mitch Hedberg Quotes!!!
March 24, 200322 yr Table for the Dufranes. Table for the Dufranes. Nobody knows where the Dufranes are. How can you people eat at a time like this? The Dufranes are in somebody's trunk right now...and they're hungry. Mitch rules. I throw a baked potato in the oven...even if I don't want one.
March 24, 200322 yr Author Hey I was right someONE knew who he was, at least I got on persons attention Mitch is the f***ing man! Him and Dane Cook are a close 1 and 2 in my book...
March 24, 200322 yr Author Those were some pretty funny quotes. It's all about his delivery, go to his site and download some of his video's from Letterman or Premium Blend when you get the chance, you need to get the full Mitch experience... Mitch
March 24, 200322 yr I had a parrot that talked, but it didn't say "I'm hungry" so it died. I order the club sandwich all the time. I'm not even a member, I don't know how I get away with it. That is pretty funny stuff. The parrot one made me laugh out loud... at work.
March 25, 200322 yr I read George Carlin. From what yall have shown me off Hedberg, they sound very much alike. Ill try to find some quotes in a bit...
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