Bonemer, I Hardly Know Her

My original plan was to do Eminem. But after discovering pictures of drug use and women in thongs in the book, my mom told me to do Jim Abbott instead,

Fun fact: I did a book report/speech in 7th grade about Jim Abbott. I did not cut off my hand for the project.

This pitcher looks like Jesse Plemmons aka Meth Damon

Chase is the best player on the team right now. Followed by Mune.

LOL REDS!

That just cost us a run

Sam's running motion looks like the T-1000

Losing a home series to the Reds when you got two starts of 7 innings, 1 run/0 runs is really gonna suck

Colson...so many pop ups. so many K's

Can that rain get here any quicker, please?

Well, Davis still sucks

Sox and Reds both have an off day 2 weeks from today and Reds will be in town to play Cubs the next day. To me, that seems like a a logical day to play this game but also that would be the Sox first off day in 16 days and would be a tough thing for them to have to play again.

Ron saving the season with this game thread despite the haters undoubtedly coming after him

T-minus 56 minutes til game time and there is no game thread.

Oh for sure. I'd screw over all those loser millionaires on my team, and of course those worthless scum fans would receive the brunt of it at my own personal benefit. But actually, it's a shame that I don't own the Sox. We'd have a top payroll every year and CHSN wouldn't freeze at all the commercial breaks. I'd have an elite IT team to make sure the app runs smoothly.

Is Ron Kittle the last Sox prospect to hit 40 HRs in one minor league season? Robert hit 32 in 2019. I can't recall anybody else coming close. Ron Kittle hit 50 in AAA in 1982 and 40 HR in AA in 1981. 3 more HRs for Bonemer, would surpass Robert for maybe the most since Kittle 44 years ago?

What a waste of all that wealth! I'd have a penthouse in the city, a big mansion in the burbs, a ridiculous lake house in Wisconsin/Michigan, an absurd mansion in Florida.

My favorite part about these two guys is that they can play all over the field. I love seeing their spunk all over the place. Nothing better than spunk that just goes all over the place and covers everything. Not to mention, these guys are pests. Their spunk gets in the faces of the opponents.

Did you expect your garbage man to have the biggest house in Illinois? Who the hell do you think builds gaudy mansions?

They definitely have a knack for shaking off bad losses and playing well as a response.

Is Saturday going to be an opener/Fedde/bullpen day?

I prefer the chewing sounds of Jason Bennetti followed by an obscure reference that only Dungeons and Dragons players would understand followed by a self-satisfied chuckle

Makes a lot of sense to give him 1 more rehab start and then call him up if all goes well.