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The Dusty Baker excuse machine


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Honestly, it's like Joe Carter's broadcasting f***ups - there are SO MANY that I can't remember any specific ones.

Well, that's not true - I remember when Joe Carter called cumulus clouds "cunnilingus clouds", causing Chimp to say at the end of the inning that "the Cubs sure got licked that inning". Maybe the only funny thing Chimp ever said...

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From The Dallas Morning News

--snip--

"You have to pretend that you're a construction worker out there," Baker explained to assembled media before his Cubs beat the Cardinals 6-5 on a hot and humid Saturday in Chicago. "You have no choice. It's easier for me. It's easier for most Latin guys and it's easier for most minority people. Most of us come from heat.

 

"We were brought over here for the heat, right?" Baker continued. "Isn't that history? Weren't we brought over here because we can take the heat?"

 

--snip--

Baker probably hasn't been around Chicago long enough to know this, but during a blistering July there in 1995, most of the folks who died in metropolitan Chicago were black. There is even a military study that suggests black soldiers who carry the sickle trait, which is African in nature, are more prone to heat-related death than anyone.

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"There were more people surrounding the clubhouse than the Unabomber's house up in the hills. Man, it was like he was in the top 10 most wanted list. He is being treated like a criminal. The act was a crime as far as baseball is concerned. I only wish they would treat it as a misdemeanor instead of a felony." -- Cubs manager Dusty Baker on Sammy Sosa's treatment by Major League Baseball and the media after he used an illegal bat and his 76 other bats were confiscated.
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In my hunt for Baker quotes, I came across these gems.

 

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

-- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

 

"What's everyone blaming me for? Blame Felix. I wouldn't have hit into the double-plays if he hadn't hit singles."

--Joe Torre of the Mets after tying a major league record by hitting into four double-plays, each time after Felix Millan had singled just before Torre came to the plate (July 21, 1975).

 

"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."

--Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.

 

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."

--Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters

 

"Sure. I'm proud to be an American."

--Cincinnati Reds rookie pitcher Steve Foster, asked by a Canadian customs agent if he had anything to declare.

 

"I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that."

--Jerry Rice

 

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."

--Doug Collins

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I just like Baker's constant use of the words "dude" and "man." And his references to society

 

Like,

 

"man, that's just how society is these days. dude, you can't tell a guy to bunt, that's just how life is these days. cmon man, i don't know"

Thats the best part of him and how Boers and Bernstien constantly do it, which is frigin hilarious.

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Honestly, it's like Joe Carter's broadcasting f***ups - there are SO MANY that I can't remember any specific ones.

Well, that's not true - I remember when Joe Carter called cumulus clouds "cunnilingus clouds", causing Chimp to say at the end of the inning that "the Cubs sure got licked that inning". Maybe the only funny thing Chimp ever said...

:lolhitting

I don't remember that one.

 

"Speaking of good buddies Jim, do you still keep in touch with your good buddy Pete Rozell?"

 

"Uhhhhh, actually Pete has been dead for some time now."

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