Why do people feel it's necessary to get married in a church? I know not everyone does, but i would expect the majority does. It's odd that some people don't go to church, but want to get married there.

 

a little help?

Why do people feel it's necessary to get married in a church? I know not everyone does, but i would expect the majority does. It's odd that some people don't go to church, but want to get married there.

 

a little help?

 

 

maybe to make their family happy?

It's large, it's dry, it's easier to find a minister, preacher, etc... to perform the ceremony.

Brian wanted to do so because of family and that was the church he grew up attending. I am glad we did as it has gotten me back in the habit of attending mass regularly.

Why do people feel it's necessary to get married in a church? I know not everyone does, but i would expect the majority does. It's odd that some people don't go to church, but want to get married there.

 

a little help?

For that matter, why is the social contract between two people still dressed up in religious trappings. I agree, fight the system and get married far away from a church.

QUOTE(sox4lifeinPA @ Dec 8, 2005 -> 12:18 AM)

Why do people feel it's necessary to get married in a church? I know not everyone does, but i would expect the majority does. It's odd that some people don't go to church, but want to get married there.

 

a little help?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

(1) Tradition

 

(2) Pleases Family

 

(3) Religious beliefs

 

Not in any specific order.

QUOTE(FlaSoxxJim @ Dec 8, 2005 -> 04:21 AM)

For that matter, why is the social contract between two people still dressed up in religious trappings.  I agree, fight the system and get married far away from a church.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Good point.

  I agree, fight the system and get married far away from a church.

 

 

Or, just don't do it at all.

Because most, not all, people believe in some higher power.

Tradition.

They haven't explored other options.

Being married by a Judge in some courtroom doesn't have the same romantic setting of a Church.

Having been through the expenses of a wedding, I am surprised no one has mentioned how much cheaper it is...

Or, just don't do it at all.

Spoken like a true member of the Eternal Bachelor Herd.

I've been to quite a few weddings recently where they just do the ceremony at the reception hall.

Spoken like a true member of the Eternal Bachelor Herd. 

 

 

Very true. But seriously, I don't see the point of attempting that level of committment to something that has the success rate of a coin flip

Very true.  But seriously, I don't see the point of attempting that level of committment to something that has the success rate of a coin flip

 

 

I understand the whole of all marriages have a 50% success rate, but that's just the average. I know that when I marry Miss PA it's forever, as I know many people here feel confident about with their spouses.

 

so maybe that it's just some people shouldn't because they're not designed or possess the skill set that is required to keep a marriage together.

Having been through the expenses of a wedding, I am surprised no one has mentioned how much cheaper it is...

 

It's cheaper to get married at a church? I guess it depends on where you go. My wife and I looked at one that wanted $400 for just a couple of hours. It was a tiny little church too.

 

The one we settled on was 3 times as big, had rooms for all the women to get dressed, had a gym so we could take pictures before the wedding, and only asked for a donation.

 

 

If you wanted to go really cheap you could be like my parents who got married at the courthouse on my dad's lunchhour. They're still together some 30+ years later.

I understand the whole of all marriages have a 50% success rate, but that's just the average. I know that when I marry Miss PA it's forever, as I know many people here feel confident about with their spouses.

 

so maybe that it's just some people shouldn't because they're not designed or possess the skill set that is required to keep a marriage together.

I agree with you here 100%. The 50% failure rate is in large part due to a whole lot of folks getting married that really shouldn't because the marriages are doomed from the start.

 

I mean, who could have predicted the Spears/Federline marriage was going to end badly?

Are you asking why people have a religious service at all, or why they do it IN an actual church itself?

Just because people don't attend church regularly does not mean they are not believers. Some people choose to get married in a church as a show of commitment. How many times in your life do you go before GOD and take vows and make promises?

 

By the way, I find it interesting that people always focus on the 50% of marriages that don't work. Well, that means 50% of marriages DO work. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Edited December 8, 200520 yr by LosMediasBlancas

Wow, the suggested donation where we were married was $35, and we gave more than that.

I agree with you here 100%.  The 50% failure rate is in large part due to a whole lot of folks getting married that really shouldn't because the marriages are doomed from the start.

 

I mean, who could have predicted the Spears/Federline marriage was going to end badly?

 

I believe in that to a degree, but then I just take a look at my own friends/family-- if that many of them made the wrong choice, maybe it's the choice in general that was wrong, and not the person. My parents, divorced after 28 years. My friend's parents, divorced after 33 years. My other friend's parents, divorced after 38 years. My coworker, just divorced after 14 years. Eddie and Valerie, divorced after 24 years. I could rattle off other examples all day, but could only point to a few examples that I know of of happily married couples, and ones who I could look at and say, "that's exactly what I would want for myself." IMHO, I don't think most people want to be married-- they do it because they think they're supposed to.

Eddie and Valerie, divorced after 24 years.

 

I have never forgiven Eddie for stealing Val away from me all those years ago.

 

 

By the way, I find it interesting that people always focus on the 50% of marriages that don't work.  Well, that means 50% of marriages DO work.  Is the glass half empty or half full?

 

 

If it's 50-50, then that's half-empty because of the level a person needs to be invested in a marriage. You can afford really bad odds when you're only investing $2, like when you buy a lottery ticket. However, if you're investing $500,000, you need to have better odds.

 

For example, lets say buying a house was a lifetime committment. You buy the house, you're supposed to live in it until you die, and if you don't there are many large penalties on many different levels. Now lets say you see research that says that 50% of home buyers end up leaving that home and you hear stories about what the penalties are and what they can do to a person. In some cases, their whole life is destroyed. Having that information, would you buy a house? Ever?

IMHO, I don't think most people want to be married-- they do it because they think they're supposed to.

Wow. Just wow. I want to be married. The married people I know want to be married.

 

 

Maybe you're hanging with the wrong people. I know plenty of married couples at my church that have been together forever. We just had a couple renew their vows to celebrate their 60th anniversary.

Wow. Just wow. I want to be married. The married people I know want to be married.

Maybe you're hanging with the wrong people. I know plenty of married couples at my church that have been together forever. We just had a couple renew their vows to celebrate their 60th anniversary.

 

If you really stop and think about it, getting married only makes everything legal.

 

My wife and I have been together for 12 years but only been married for 6. I have an aunt that has lived with a guy for 20+ years but have never gotten married.

 

It makes things a lot easier should anything happen to either person but also a lot messier should things go wrong. My wife and I have often joked that we should get divorced because I got a much bigger tax refund when I claimed head of household with 2 dependants rather than married filing jointly.

I wonder how much of the 50% divorce rate is caused by people who have multiple marriages, when they should never have been married in the first place. Personally I would like to see the number of first marriages that last, as opposed to all marriages. Think about it, one person getting 3 divorces matches up with 3 couples getting married and spending the rest of their lives together to make 50%.

Wow. Just wow. I want to be married. The married people I know want to be married.

Maybe you're hanging with the wrong people. I know plenty of married couples at my church that have been together forever. We just had a couple renew their vows to celebrate their 60th anniversary.

 

I didn't say it was everyone.

 

People celebrating their 60th anniversary, for example, are of a different generation with a different mindset and culture. You also go to church, which will change the perspective drastically. Most people don't attend church regularly anymore so keep that in mind.