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Need absolution?

Featured Replies

On this Sept. 2, I became an ordained minister with an actual church albeit it is an online church. I cannot marry people but I can do absolutions and other such things.

 

:usa :usa :usa

I'm not very religious so what is an absolution?

interesting..... very very interesting <_>

  • Author
I'm not very religious so what is an absolution?

I can absolve you of all your sins.

I can absolve you of all your sins.

LOL! THis isnt a shot at you apu......but the only one who can do that is God.

LOL! THis isnt a shot at you apu......but the only one who can do that is God.

I was going to say the same thing :lol:

  • Author
LOL! THis isnt a shot at you apu......but the only one who can do that is God.

I've been told by an online church that I can.

 

Who would think an online church would be shady? :lol:

I've been told by an online church that I can.

 

Who would think an online church would be shady?  :lol:

Which one? Give us the link so we can check it out :D

  • Author
I've been told by an online church that I can.

 

Who would think an online church would be shady?  :lol:

Which one? Give us the link so we can check it out :D

The Universal Life Church.

 

www.ulc.org

 

They ordain anybody of any religion for free for life.

 

Note, this is purely s***s and giggles purposes on my part. It's fun saying that I'm a minister and having the ability to absolve people of sins as a conduit of an Invisible Cloud Being.

 

I told people in my classes and I got this total awe of respect.

How come you can't marry? The website says the people it ordains can conduct marriages. You got ripped :lol:

  • Author
How come you can't marry?  The website says the people it ordains can conduct marriages.  You got ripped  :lol:

SCORE! :headbang

So do we have to do confession, or you just praying for us in advance :lol:

  • Author
So do we have to do confession, or you just praying for us in advance :lol:

I don't have to pray just do what is right. It's the easiest religion ever, haha.

On this Sept. 2, I became an ordained minister with an actual church albeit it is an online church.  I cannot marry people but I can do absolutions and other such things.

 

:usa  :usa  :usa

apu.. i wish you well in your ministry but dont count on me sittin in a dark booth talkin to you about every bad thing i did..lol..aint gonna happen... one of the reasons i left the catholic church years ago.....as if a priest who sins worse than i can absolve me of anything????? :lol: ill wait till the "main man" comes calling to talk to him about my wrong doings, and seek his foregivness, if you dont mind..........no offense....... ;)

  • Author
apu.. i wish you well in your ministry but dont count on me sittin in a dark booth talkin to you about every bad thing i did..lol..aint gonna happen... one of the reasons i left the catholic church years ago.....as if a priest who sins worse than i can absolve me of anything????? :lol:  ill wait till the "main man" comes calling to talk to him about my wrong doings, and seek his foregivness, if you dont mind..........no offense....... ;)

I don't have to take confessions. I can just do an absolution without hearing word one from the people. It's a nice change from the Catholic Church, haha.

 

And I can't be a member of the Catholic Church...I don't rape little boys.

Sideshowapu,

 

Will you absolve me of my sins?

Sideshowapu,

 

Will you absolve me of my sins?

How can someone who just claimed to ALWAYS BE GOOD have sins? :lol:

Sideshowapu,

 

Will you absolve me of my sins?

How can someone who just claimed to ALWAYS BE GOOD have sins? :lol:

:o

:o

Exactly.

 

Me > You.

:nono

heh, you know it's true.

  • Author
Sideshowapu,

 

Will you absolve me of my sins?

Sure, why not.

Sideshowapu,

 

Will you absolve me of my sins?

Sure, why not.

Are there any weird rituals for this process? What happens next?

  • Author
Are there any weird rituals for this process?  What happens next?

That's it. It's done.

That's it.  It's done.

So I can sin as much as I want and come to you for absolution, and I'm forgiven! God I love my life!!!

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