Ozzie's slurring topped only by Ozzie's skating
June 25, 2006
BY JAY MARIOTTI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
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I keep thinking of a sportswriter who was suspended 30 days, without pay, for a first-case slip of the tongue. I keep thinking of an owner who was banished from baseball, a general manager who was disgraced for life, broadcasters who have lost their jobs. I keep wondering how many other managers and coaches would have been fired for describing someone as "a [bleeping] ***.''
So how does Ozzie Guillen skate? And how does he get away with being so smug and flip about the light punishment he did receive from a too-soft commissioner? Just how morally flimsy do Bud Selig and the White Sox look today, anyway?
The last three days have been every bit as disgraceful as the day Guillen hurled his repulsive homophobic slur. There was the Blizzard of Oz, after Selig announced a too-light penalty, making a funny face and cackling loudly. The question was about sensitivity training, not to be taken lightly after Guillen was told to scrub his mouth and update his soul to 2006. But not only did he pooh-pooh the idea of these courses, he mocked them with humor mindful of Bart Simpson.
"What class? What is it? Mr. Selig said I have to do something about this,'' he said in his Live at the Improv tone. "I don't even know what he was saying.''
And, hey, don't schedule anything too early. "If they want me to do it, make sure it's after 12 o'clock,'' Guillen said. "I don't get up until after 12 o'clock.''
This was Thursday evening. By the next day, the Blizzard of Oz was telling an ESPNdeportes.com reporter that he likely wouldn't attend any sensitivity courses, thus defying Selig's edict and setting up another wave of national chaos and a distraction the Sox don't need in their smooth encore season. "I don't think I'll be going -- I don't think that'll happen,'' said Guillen, speaking in Spanish. "I think the commissioner ordered that in order to calm things down, but obviously, to attend one of those, I'll have to take English lessons.''
Yeah, and Sammy Sosa didn't know English on Capitol Hill, either. Just as Guillen knew what "***'' meant all along, he knows enough English to sit in a room and learn how to treat people better. He has been in this country more than 20 years and understands exactly what he's conveying. Asked about his comments by reporters, Guillen went down the wrong path again. He grew testy and warned, "I'm going to get nasty with the media.'' As if firing a slur at a media member isn't nasty enough.
School him, or suspend him
Obviously, Guillen has no interest in paying his debt. Just who he thinks he is, I have no idea, but he's not above human decency and baseball law. If he were to blow off these sessions, I'd expect Selig to immediately slap him with a two-week suspension -- which should have been the penalty to begin with, contrary to the warped inequity in handing Guillen a one-game suspension for a purpose-pitch episode but just a fine and sensitivity training for a slur that offended millions. I don't care if you've won the World Series. I don't care if you might win another. This is more important than any ballgame.
By Saturday, the Sox' front office had thrown a safety net around Guillen. For now, he says he plans to take the classes. "I'm not above the commissioner of baseball,'' he said. "I said I'll have to take English classes first to understand what it means. The commissioner is the boss, and Ozzie will do what the boss says.'' But what will he think today? Monday? Next week, next month? Such is life with Ozzie.
So much for sensitivity training enlightening the most insensitive man in sports. If I were Selig, I also might take a lead suggested by Houston Astros manager Phil Garner, who says Ozzie needs professional help. Keep in mind, too, that Guillen has slurred his Venezuelan countryman, Magglio Ordonez, and dipped into ethnic trouble with Alex Rodriguez and Nomar Garciaparra when they were deciding which country to play for at the World Baseball Classic.
In any other business, any other walk of life, the face of an organization would have been dismissed for calling someone "a ***.'' In baseball, messy baseball, a wrist slap becomes a comedy routine. Yet it's only a matter of time before Guillen slurs someone else. His "apology'' to the gay community was half-hearted and insincere, as he gestured with his hands to put quote marks around those people he offended. Less important, he did not apologize to me, which breaks my heart. "I'm not going to change,'' he said. "One thing I'm going to make clear is I apologize to the community, but to Jay? No chance. This thing is on and on for good.''
Wow. Does he know where I live, too, like Magglio? Are we going to rumble like the rival news teams in "Anchorman,'' in a back alley somewhere? Last I heard a threat like "This thing is on and on for good,'' I think I was 11.
Naked truth about clubhouse
I have to chuckle at some people -- including some writers -- using this opportunity to blame me and tell lies about how I do my work. Would people like to explain what I've done here, other than my job? To cut through some of the b.s. I've been reading, hear this: I have nothing against locker rooms and clubhouses as long as they're civil. Again, if Guillen wants me to join his nightly OzFest charm sessions before games, he and Sox management will have to address and apologize for a history of threatening and unprofessional episodes. It's certainly not about fear. It's about dignity, couth, professionalism and a refusal to lower myself to laws made by jockdom.
One incident involved Guillen himself on a night in Baltimore when he stood naked behind me in the clubhouse and -- how do I put this? -- pretended to have sex with me. If that happens out on the street, he gets arrested for lewd behavior. A screaming Carl Everett, mean guy, confronted me outside the Sox' clubhouse last October. Oh, and before a playoff game, while I joined a live ESPN "SportsCenter'' segment on the field, Guillen yelled at me from the dugout, "Get off our field before I kick your ass!''
So, do you want me on your field, Ozzie, or do you not want me on your field? Can't have it both ways. I'm confused.
There have been incidents involving Frank Thomas and a bat he wanted to put up my butt "sideways.'' There was a disturbing 15-minute standoff with a screaming Tony Phillips. Aaron Rowand always yapped about wanting a piece of my hide. Hawk Harrelson blathers on in that drawl about some bird, and all it does is enflame fans who make threats on e-mail and voice mail.
Part of it is comical. Part of it is sick, like Ozzie's slur.
Let's hope Guillen isn't so pigheaded to blow off the classes. He wouldn't want to downgrade himself from circus act to American pariah.
Jay Mariotti is a regular on "Around the Horn'' at 4 p.m. on ESPN. Send e-mail to inbox@suntimes.com with name, hometown and daytime phone number. (Letters run Sunday.)
Like Ozzie is going to apologize to you.