Good read;

 

The White Sox media guide lists you at 5-foot-10.

 

OK, 5-9½.

 

That's another lie.

 

OK, I'm trying to grow an inch every year. When I was at Memphis State, I was listed as 6-foot. We all got a chuckle out of that.

 

What are some of the nicknames you've been given because of your height, or lack thereof?

 

Geez … 'Gremlin,' 'Shorty,' 'Dumpy,' 'Fatty' … I don't like that one.

 

Do you think you still surprise opposing hitters with how hard you throw and how small you are?

 

A little bit. When people see me on the mound and then see me throw, they'll say, 'The little guy throws harder than I thought.'

 

Did you always throw hard?

 

In high school, I threw 88-89 (mph). Then in junior college, I hit 92. My father said that if he knew I would throw this hard he would have made me left-handed.

 

What's the hardest you ever flipped the radar gun to?

 

It all depends on if the guns are right. Last year in Kansas City, the first pitch I threw was 98. While I was with Toronto, I hit 98 three or four times.

 

Is there one player in baseball you would like to tattoo with one of those fastballs?

 

(Long pause) There's times I said it or even thought it. But purposely, for no reason, no. Couldn't do that.

 

A.J. Pierzynski — misunderstood or the bad stories are true?

 

Misunderstood.

 

Who is harder to understand — Ozzie Guillen, Shingo Takatsu or Juan Uribe?

 

Uribe. No one knows what he's saying.

 

Who is the best player on this team from the state of Missouri?

 

Mark Buehrle … wait, wait, who are the other players?

 

You, Buehrle and (Joe) Crede.

 

I can't say myself. That will look bad. … Buehrle and Crede.

 

Cop out.

 

The team plane goes down on a deserted island. Who is the first to come up with the idea that someone has to be eaten and who is the first to be dinner?

 

'Cave' (bullpen coach Art Kusnyer) would come up with the idea because he's sick. Uribe would be eaten first. He's got the biggest bottom on the team.

OMG, that last bit is funny in a bizarro sort of way.

Who is harder to understand — Ozzie Guillen, Shingo Takatsu or Juan Uribe?

 

Uribe. No one knows what he's saying.

 

Lol I thought it woulda been Takatsu

Who is harder to understand — Ozzie Guillen, Shingo Takatsu or Juan Uribe?

 

Uribe. No one knows what he's saying.

 

This is surprising and hilarious to me. Also when Cliff says how Juanny has the biggest "bottom" ROTFLMAO

I love the uribe line. Ozzie had a great quote earlier saying "I have to know how to curse in english, spanish, japanese, and whatever language uribe is speaking."

I love the uribe line.  Ozzie had a great quote earlier saying "I have to know how to curse in english, spanish, japanese, and whatever language uribe is speaking."

 

Overall just a funny interview.

I just read it and laughed all the way through it.

It seems like Cliff is a real nice guy... glad to have him on our team

I don't think I've ever heard Uribe talk. Anyone know of any clips or how to do an impression?