Who's got a good excuse to leave work early, today?

 

And yes, I know the White Sox are on is good, but I don't want to tell the boss that.

"I'm heading out of town for the weekend and want to get home to get the car packed up."

Who's got a good excuse to leave work early, today?

 

And yes, I know the White Sox are on is good, but I don't want to tell the boss that.

 

If he knows you are a sox fan...he'll know what you are up to.

Who's got a good excuse to leave work early, today?

 

And yes, I know the White Sox are on is good, but I don't want to tell the boss that.

 

Gamble (not with money) and lose. It could be messy and quite embarassing but if properly prepared ahead of time (bring extra clothes and stash them), it will only cost you a pair of pants. Setting the stage would be the tough part but only you know your body and what it can and can not take and the recovery time.

 

Drink a gallon of milk in an hour and throw up all over your boss.

 

Best of luck.

"I just crapped in my pants".

"I just crapped in my pants".

That would work. His boss would kick him out of the office!

"I just crapped in my pants".

 

He'll need proof...guess he'll have to crap his pants.

Trust me, nobody will want to check. One stink bomb, and your set. Granted, you will have a new nickname or ten...but hey...it's worth it, right?

If you go with the "crapping in the pants" thing don't forget "the walk."

Rub your eye like crazy, and tell your boss you have pink eye.

"I just crapped in my pants".

A friend of mine literally had a shart and was late to work. His boss was going to let him go till he was told that he was on his way and let out some gas and a little something followed. guess he felt sorry for him. haha same kid crapped himself while eating once too, oh now i need to to tell this story. So we are sitting at an outdoor patio eating. 4 guys, our food comes. "no, no that didnt just happen. " looks around with a blank stare, "no way, im 23 years old this shouldnt be happening." lifts an ass cheek, "yup, I just crapped myself, god damn it!" I just about pissed my pants laughing.

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that

She is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today

A friend of mine literally had a shart and was late to work.  His boss was going to let him go till he was told that he was on his way and let out some gas and a little something followed.  guess he felt sorry for him.  haha same kid crapped himself while eating once too, oh now i need to to tell this story.  So we are sitting at an outdoor patio eating. 4 guys, our food comes.  "no, no that didnt just happen. " looks around with a blank stare, "no way, im 23 years old this shouldnt be happening."  lifts an ass cheek, "yup, I just crapped myself, god damn it!"  I just about pissed my pants laughing.

 

 

THIS IS KNOWN AS GAMBLING AND LOSING!!!!!!

My boss left work yesterday to drive up to the Cardinal game. He couldn't tell me no when I asked for the afternoon off to watch the Sox.

 

I drove up to St. Louis with 4 friends for a Rams/Vikings game. One guy laying out the nastiest farts I might have ever smelled. Another thought he s*** his pants and had to drop trouser in the middle of the parking lot at the metro train station to check. Man, I was glad to get outta that car.

i woke up very ILL today.. SO i had to call in..

One time on Boers and Bernstein on their "friday fung" section they had "best excuses not to come into work"

 

Anyway, some guy called and said one time this woman used the excuse that her electricity went out, and it was too dark to put on clothes.

 

Another good one - this guy said his car was surrounded by ducks, so there was obviously no way he could drive into work today.

 

I don't recommend trying either of these, but they are hilarious.

Your son or daughter just called and he/she has a broken leg. You're the only person in town since your wife left on a business trip so you have to take him/her to the hospital.