drowninginflame Posted January 4, 2006 Author Share Posted January 4, 2006 I don't get it either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the People's Champ Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 QUOTE(drowninginflame @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 04:20 PM) I don't get it either <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Did you read the whole thing??? It wasn't terribly funny, but it still made sense nonetheless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLAK Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Two years ago a lady brought her Chiuaua to Dog Day. She showed up early to watch BP and Roger Bossard was still rolling the grass. The dog jumped out of her arms, ran on the field to Roger‘s riding mower and knocked over the fuel can. The dog lapped up a about pint of it and started running around and around and around the bases. Then it fell over dead. The hysterical lady ran out on the field and cried “Roger what happened?” He replied “I guess he ran out of gas.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 QUOTE(SoxFan1 @ Jan 4, 2006 -> 02:59 PM) How do you get 4 Cubs fans to sit on 1 stool? Flip the stool over. ZING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That funky motion Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 QUOTE(drowninginflame @ Jan 3, 2006 -> 03:12 PM) What do the sox and bobby brown have in common? they both beat the s*** outta houston Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Hey guys, could you possibly be a little more original and a little less narrowminded as to the cubfans=gay jokes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 QUOTE(southsider2k5 @ Jan 5, 2006 -> 07:22 AM) Hey guys, could you possibly be a little more original and a little less narrowminded as to the cubfans=gay jokes? Thank you. Those "jokes" place us in the same light as beer drinking, coach attacking, running on the field, simpletons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mreye Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 QUOTE(Texsox @ Jan 5, 2006 -> 07:45 AM) Thank you. Those "jokes" place us in the same light as beer drinking, coach attacking, running on the field, simpletons. What'd you say about me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinningUgly85 Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 A day in my life on the North Side Years ago my first grade teacher explains to our class that she's a Cubs fan. She asks us to raise our hands if we were Cubs fans, too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was at the time but wanting to be just like the teacher, most of the class then launch their hands into the air like fireworks. All except a few others and myself. Teacher asks me why I decided to be different. I say, "Because I'm not a Cubs fan," "Then what are you?" "Why, I'm proud to be a Sox fan," my teacher is a little flustered now. She asks me why I am a Sox fan. "Well, my grandfather and my dad are Sox fans, so I'm a Sox fan, too." My teacher then goes on to say. "That's no reason, what if your grandfather was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a Cubs fan." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigHurt Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 QUOTE(WinningUgly85 @ Jan 6, 2006 -> 02:39 PM) A day in my life on the North Side Years ago my first grade teacher explains to our class that she's a Cubs fan. She asks us to raise our hands if we were Cubs fans, too. Not really knowing what a Cubs fan was at the time but wanting to be just like the teacher, most of the class then launch their hands into the air like fireworks. All except a few others and myself. Teacher asks me why I decided to be different. I say, "Because I'm not a Cubs fan," "Then what are you?" "Why, I'm proud to be a Sox fan," my teacher is a little flustered now. She asks me why I am a Sox fan. "Well, my grandfather and my dad are Sox fans, so I'm a Sox fan, too." My teacher then goes on to say. "That's no reason, what if your grandfather was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a Cubs fan." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> ROFL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayitaintso Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 Cubs to White Sox Conversion Form Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Chicago White Sox Fan Club! Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for Chicago Cub fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Cub requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on current backlog of requests. Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below. This will help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to assist you in your recovery from your previous fan experience. Please Print: Name:___________________________ Address:___________________________ City, State, and Zip:_____________________________ 1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Chicago Cubs win the pennant: ( ) 1945 (please leave this form at the front desk of your nursing home) ( ) Have never witnessed this event 2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Cubs history: ( ) Carmen Fanzone trumpeting the National Anthem ( ) Lou Brock traded to the Cardinals for Ernie Broglio in 1964 ( ) The College of Coaches in the early 60's ( ) Lee Smith grooving a fastball to Steve Garvey in game 4 of the 1984 NLCS ( ) Brant Brown dropping a fly ball in 1998, which forced a 1 game playoff with the Giants ( ) Grounder goes between Leon Durham's legs during game 5 of the 1984 NLCS ( ) Fan (a.k.a Steve Bartman) interfering with a foul ball during game 6 of the 2003 NLCS (should have blown up Alex Gonzalez' mitt) ( ) Leo Durocher's AWOL visit to his sons' Military School during 1969 pennant run ( ) A black cat running in front of Ron Santo during a critical 1969 series in Shea Stadium ( ) Future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux not tendered an offer and signs with the Atlanta Braves ( ) Atlanta. Braves, featuring Greg Maddux, sweep Cubs out of the 1989 playoffs ( ) Don Young dropping a fly ball in 1969 ( ) Mark Grace not tendered an offer by the Cubs, sign with Diamondbacks and wins World Series ( ) Manager Lee Elia's profanity filled tirade at the beginning of the 1983 season ( ) Sammy Sosa getting caught using a corked bat during the 2003 season ( ) Cubs blow an 8 game August lead and finish 8 games behind the 1969 Mets ( ) Cubs reliever Dickie Noles drinks full case of beer and attacks Cincinnati police after game ( ) Michael Jordan follows through on his 6th inning RBI double against the Cubs - April 7th 1994 - to tie the score 3. Reasons you believe the Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908: (check all that apply) ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of managing ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of pitching ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of hitting ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of defense ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Bad calls by umpires 4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable Cubs loss: (check all that apply) ( ) Headache ( ) Uncontrolled anger ( ) Heartache ( ) Holes punched in doors or walls ( ) Nausea ( ) Smashed TV screens ( ) Depression ( ) Avoided White Sox fans far days 5. Is October your least favorite time of the year? ( ) Yes ( ) No 6. Are you tired of saying, "Wait till next year"? ( ) Yes ( ) No 7. Are you ready to admit that: ( ) Harold Baines was better than Keith Moreland ( ) John Garland is better than Matt Karchner ( ) Ozzie Guillen was better than Shawon Dunston ( ) Ozzie Guillen is better than Dusty Baker ( ) Harry Caray was better with the White Sox ( ) The next Cub century will be no better than the last ( ) The ivy on the outfield walls serves no purpose other than housing annoying pests (like the rest of the place) Once you have completed this form, please forward it to The Cell. Then you must burn all of your remaining Cub clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the White Son Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection. If accepted, you will receive: A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of "Go Go White Sox" over and over again An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2005 World Series at US Cellular Field Posters of Steve Stone and Ion Garland in White Sox uniforms A dart board sporting the picture of Sammy Sosa A copy of our popular handbook "Harassing Cub Fans for Fun and Profit' A one year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Cub fans in your area. If rejected, you will receive: Our pity and condolences, plus a 10 second video capturing the past years of Cub highlights in head-to-head competition against the White Sox narrated by George Ball. I hereby renounce the Chicago Cubs for all eternity on this the _______Day of _______, 2005 (Signed)___________________________________________ (Official Use Only) ( ) Approved ( ) Declined CC: Jerry Reinsdorf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigHurt Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 QUOTE(sayitaintso @ Jan 6, 2006 -> 03:21 PM) Cubs to White Sox Conversion Form Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Chicago White Sox Fan Club! Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for Chicago Cub fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Cub requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on current backlog of requests. Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below. This will help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to assist you in your recovery from your previous fan experience. Please Print: Name:___________________________ Address:___________________________ City, State, and Zip:_____________________________ 1. Please indicate the last time you watched the Chicago Cubs win the pennant: ( ) 1945 (please leave this form at the front desk of your nursing home) ( ) Have never witnessed this event 2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Cubs history: ( ) Carmen Fanzone trumpeting the National Anthem ( ) Lou Brock traded to the Cardinals for Ernie Broglio in 1964 ( ) The College of Coaches in the early 60's ( ) Lee Smith grooving a fastball to Steve Garvey in game 4 of the 1984 NLCS ( ) Brant Brown dropping a fly ball in 1998, which forced a 1 game playoff with the Giants ( ) Grounder goes between Leon Durham's legs during game 5 of the 1984 NLCS ( ) Fan (a.k.a Steve Bartman) interfering with a foul ball during game 6 of the 2003 NLCS (should have blown up Alex Gonzalez' mitt) ( ) Leo Durocher's AWOL visit to his sons' Military School during 1969 pennant run ( ) A black cat running in front of Ron Santo during a critical 1969 series in Shea Stadium ( ) Future Hall of Famer, Greg Maddux not tendered an offer and signs with the Atlanta Braves ( ) Atlanta. Braves, featuring Greg Maddux, sweep Cubs out of the 1989 playoffs ( ) Don Young dropping a fly ball in 1969 ( ) Mark Grace not tendered an offer by the Cubs, sign with Diamondbacks and wins World Series ( ) Manager Lee Elia's profanity filled tirade at the beginning of the 1983 season ( ) Sammy Sosa getting caught using a corked bat during the 2003 season ( ) Cubs blow an 8 game August lead and finish 8 games behind the 1969 Mets ( ) Cubs reliever Dickie Noles drinks full case of beer and attacks Cincinnati police after game ( ) Michael Jordan follows through on his 6th inning RBI double against the Cubs - April 7th 1994 - to tie the score 3. Reasons you believe the Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908: (check all that apply) ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of managing ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of pitching ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of hitting ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Lack of defense ( ) The curse of the goat ( ) Bad calls by umpires 4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable Cubs loss: (check all that apply) ( ) Headache ( ) Uncontrolled anger ( ) Heartache ( ) Holes punched in doors or walls ( ) Nausea ( ) Smashed TV screens ( ) Depression ( ) Avoided White Sox fans far days 5. Is October your least favorite time of the year? ( ) Yes ( ) No 6. Are you tired of saying, "Wait till next year"? ( ) Yes ( ) No 7. Are you ready to admit that: ( ) Harold Baines was better than Keith Moreland ( ) John Garland is better than Matt Karchner ( ) Ozzie Guillen was better than Shawon Dunston ( ) Ozzie Guillen is better than Dusty Baker ( ) Harry Caray was better with the White Sox ( ) The next Cub century will be no better than the last ( ) The ivy on the outfield walls serves no purpose other than housing annoying pests (like the rest of the place) Once you have completed this form, please forward it to The Cell. Then you must burn all of your remaining Cub clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the White Son Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection. If accepted, you will receive: A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of "Go Go White Sox" over and over again An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2005 World Series at US Cellular Field Posters of Steve Stone and Ion Garland in White Sox uniforms A dart board sporting the picture of Sammy Sosa A copy of our popular handbook "Harassing Cub Fans for Fun and Profit' A one year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Cub fans in your area. If rejected, you will receive: Our pity and condolences, plus a 10 second video capturing the past years of Cub highlights in head-to-head competition against the White Sox narrated by George Ball. I hereby renounce the Chicago Cubs for all eternity on this the _______Day of _______, 2005 (Signed)___________________________________________ (Official Use Only) ( ) Approved ( ) Declined CC: Jerry Reinsdorf <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dam8610 Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 http://www.baseballprospectus.com/news/ima...pansoxgame1.txt http://www.baseballprospectus.com/news/ima...pansoxgame2.txt good one BP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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