A little advice...

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Well f***, I already know this is probably blown. Did I have confidence? yes, but theres just no way I can play the confident asshole role as I read about and tried to pull off. Im just genuinely too nice of a person, and she even mentioned it. Im going to have to find someone to just accept that. We went bowling and then went out to eat. It was a late late hangout since she didnt get off of work til around 10. Nothing happen other than kissing. After all was said and done, I got the usual I had fun line as we called it a night, and then even a text message a half hour after saying again she had tons of fun and we should do it again sometime. I really got the vibe she descirbed though, that for her its just out to have fun not looking for anything. For me im glad I knew that coming in since I fall pretty hard and easy, but it does make it a little easier knowing before hand not to expect much.

 

Im a little caught off guard because I thought things went pretty good last night, and then this morning I decide to check my myspace and she’s got one of those myspace bulletins's saying that today is really s***ty. So I tried asking her what was wrong and her reply was 'work', and then she quickly just signed off. That seemed kinda b****y and mean, but maybe im over thinking things now. Hanging out last night beats the hell out of the regular routine of going back to the gym tonight that’s for sure.

Edited April 14, 2007 by WhiteSoxFan1

[DrunkBomber]

If you really do get attached easily I would seriously cut this off pretty soon.

[SleepyWhiteSox]

I think the prefered term is Hit it n Quit it.

 

Hittin it is old, son...all bout smashin now...

[WhiteSoxFan1]

If you really do get attached easily I would seriously cut this off pretty soon.

 

Im gonna have that problem reguardless though. Ive attached to people too early in the past, and even got cheated on and left after a 2 year relationship, so ive been through enough to know ill get over it, if it does happen. The good thing I can notice right now, is that im not at all attached to her, maybe because I knew the situation going in, but right now, more attached to having fun last night with someone and being out of my regular routine and comfort zone.

[DrunkBomber]

Im gonna have that problem reguardless though. Ive attached to people too early in the past, and even got cheated on and left after a 2 year relationship, so ive been through enough to know ill get over it, if it does happen. The good thing I can notice right now, is that im not at all attached to her, maybe because I knew the situation going in, but right now, more attached to having fun last night with someone and being out of my regular routine and comfort zone.

You wont have that problem regardless in a better situation than a girl thats just on the rebound and taking a break. You sound like you have trust issues and youre just settling with this for the wrong reasons. My advice is just to be careful, the more you hang out with this girl the more attached youre gonna get.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

You wont have that problem regardless in a better situation than a girl thats just on the rebound and taking a break. You sound like you have trust issues and youre just settling with this for the wrong reasons. My advice is just to be careful, the more you hang out with this girl the more attached youre gonna get.

I do have a tad bit of trust issues, but im working on them. Im just not a very socially active person so when I do get attention(like last night) I tend to get over attached. Ill be fine, always am. Im always going to have my eye out for other prospects, but id be lying if I said I wouldnt hang out with this girl again.

[Gregory Pratt]

Maybe you answered this earlier, but I'm just curious -- how old are you?

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Maybe you answered this earlier, but I'm just curious -- how old are you?

im 20

[DrunkBomber]

At least promise us that when this disaster blows up youll come back and eat crow

[WhiteSoxFan1]

At least promise us that when this disaster blows up youll come back and eat crow

 

Well what do you mean by that though? I kind of know its a lose lose situation for me.

 

What exactly would qualify as blowing up on me? Her choosing her boyfriend over me?

[DrunkBomber]

Well what do you mean by that though? I kind of know its a lose lose situation for me.

 

What exactly would qualify as blowing up on me? Her choosing her boyfriend over me?

No, you end up getting attached to this girl and then she ends up getting back with her boyfriend. If you know this is a lose/lose why are you even bothering?

[WhiteSoxFan1]

No, you end up getting attached to this girl and then she ends up getting back with her boyfriend. If you know this is a lose/lose why are you even bothering?

Well ill eat crow if it comes to that. Im sure it will come to that if we hang out a few more times. As for lose/lose and why do it? Its because im too stuborn. Im a shy guy at heart so I dont have a lot of social situation especially with females so when I get attention I love it and I already know id rather hang out with her even knowing the situation rather than sitting around lounging,working or going to the gym like regular routine.

[Kid Gleason]

Just ask yourself:

 

What would Sanjaya do?

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Just ask yourself:

 

What would Sanjaya do?

[SleepyWhiteSox]

Just ask yourself:

 

What would Sanjaya do?

 

lol

 

 

My advice is do what you feel is right and just don't regret it. As long as it isn't illegal and/or immoral, experience things for yourself, enjoy them, learn from those with unfavorable outcomes, and just don't regret it.

[RockRaines]

I do have a tad bit of trust issues, but im working on them. Im just not a very socially active person so when I do get attention(like last night) I tend to get over attached. Ill be fine, always am. Im always going to have my eye out for other prospects, but id be lying if I said I wouldnt hang out with this girl again.

You are going to keep getting s*** on over and over until you break your typical pattern of falling for whatever girl shows you the least bit of interest.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

lol

My advice is do what you feel is right and just don't regret it. As long as it isn't illegal and/or immoral, experience things for yourself, enjoy them, learn from those with unfavorable outcomes, and just don't regret it.

Yea thats pretty much my take on it. To some it is stupid to stay with a no win situation that you might get hurt in but at this point I think its better to just learn from the situations. On top of that as sad as it sounds its not like I have anything else going on at the moment. Most likely id just be at the gym or sitting at home last night if I didnt hang out with her.

 

You are going to keep getting s*** on over and over until you break your typical pattern of falling for whatever girl shows you the least bit of interest.

I know ive definatly changed my attitude especially for this one. Im not going to allow myself to fall for this girl especially knowing the situation. What I mean by changing too is that I will in no way show any signs to her that I could be "falling"

[RockRaines]

Yea thats pretty much my take on it. To some it is stupid to stay with a no win situation that you might get hurt in but at this point I think its better to just learn from the situations. On top of that as sad as it sounds its not like I have anything else going on at the moment. Most likely id just be at the gym or sitting at home last night if I didnt hang out with her.

I know ive definatly changed my attitude especially for this one. Im not going to allow myself to fall for this girl especially knowing the situation. What I mean by changing too is that I will in no way show any signs to her that I could be "falling"

Dude, dont fall for any girl that quickly or easily. You have to understand that the only way you will ever get a meaningful relationship is if there is actual work put into it. Let the girl convince you to like her that much, if she cant, throw her away and move on to the next one. Some girls prey on guys who fall that fast.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Dude, dont fall for any girl that quickly or easily. You have to understand that the only way you will ever get a meaningful relationship is if there is actual work put into it. Let the girl convince you to like her that much, if she cant, throw her away and move on to the next one. Some girls prey on guys who fall that fast.

 

I agree. I dont know if this one could or will do that, but just to be safe what do you suggest I do to make sure she doesnt. How do I "get the upper hand"

[RockRaines]

I agree. I dont know if this one could or will do that, but just to be safe what do you suggest I do to make sure she doesnt. How do I "get the upper hand"

Here is my advice, because ive gotten burned when i was younger too. Mosty it was because I got out of a long relationship, somewhere inside of me, I wanted it back.

 

You have to play things aloof. Not neccesarily be a jerk or a dick to her, but really put it into your brain that you dont really care if she likes you or not. If she tries to hang out with you, do it. If she wants to pay attention to you, be yourself. But do not go out of your way to talk to her, dont look at her talking to other people and wish it was you. Be your own person, do your own thing, always have it in your mind that you are perfectly ok without the broad. If she likes you, she will make an effort, and will keep making an effort. If she wants to just f*** with you, you already have the mindset that it doesnt really matter if you have her, or dont have her, so its all good.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

Here is my advice, because ive gotten burned when i was younger too. Mosty it was because I got out of a long relationship, somewhere inside of me, I wanted it back.

 

You have to play things aloof. Not neccesarily be a jerk or a dick to her, but really put it into your brain that you dont really care if she likes you or not. If she tries to hang out with you, do it. If she wants to pay attention to you, be yourself. But do not go out of your way to talk to her, dont look at her talking to other people and wish it was you. Be your own person, do your own thing, always have it in your mind that you are perfectly ok without the broad. If she likes you, she will make an effort, and will keep making an effort. If she wants to just f*** with you, you already have the mindset that it doesnt really matter if you have her, or dont have her, so its all good.

Alright sweet, and thanks for the advice. Thats actually exactly how ive planned on playing it. Im going to let her do the contacting. I actually think I have a similar problem you had, with the past relationship. Sure im pissed about being left and cheated on, but there is that void of companionship missing and comfortness that I miss and try to cling to. I know not to let it show and that I have to keep a much different outlook on things. Im getting a lot better even though it might not seem like it.

[Gregory Pratt]

I don't want to seem rude, or like I'm picking on you, but what you're describign, with falling for whatever girl shows the slgihtest interest in you, seems like the behavior of a mid-teenager and not a twenty year old man. You need to break that bad habit soon.

[WhiteSoxFan1]

I don't want to seem rude, or like I'm picking on you, but what you're describign, with falling for whatever girl shows the slgihtest interest in you, seems like the behavior of a mid-teenager and not a twenty year old man. You need to break that bad habit soon.

I agree, but in this day and age where people are having sex at age 14, I was quite a late bloomer. My first date was freshman year (15) relativly young I guess. Me and that girl dated for hardly 3 months and was my first kiss. Then I didnt have another date til right after i finished high school. So after a few dates here and there I finally lost my virginity at 19 on a fling and then before I knew it a few weeks later was the start of 2 year relationship. Now ive been tossed back out recently and as a previous posted said, its almost like im looking for someone to fill that relationship void.

Edited April 15, 2007 by WhiteSoxFan1

[Controlled Chaos]

I agree, but in this day and age where people are having sex at age 14, I was quite a late bloomer. My first date was freshman year (15) relativly young I guess. Me and that girl dated for hardly 3 months and was my first kiss. Then I didnt have another date til right after i finished high school. So after a few dates here and there I finally lost my virginity at 19 on a fling and then before I knew it a few weeks later was the start of 2 year relationship. Now ive been tossed back out recently and as a previous posted said, its almost like im looking for someone to fill that relationship void.

Dude....the s*** really isn't that hard. Relax and have fun. You're stressin out way too much and over thinking. You're 20 and ya got a late start...you have a lot of learning to do, but have fun with it. The reason I said she has you pegged is because you're transparent. Everyone on this board feels the vibe you're tossing out there, and I guarantee every chick you meet will feel it too. They have a sick sense of reading our minds. You're the 'nice' guy and that's fine, but you're gonna have to find the 'nice' girl to make it work.

 

Now understand this if you understand anything...you can be nice without being a kiss ass.

Most girls don't like a kiss ass and most guys for whatever fricken reason think that they do.

 

 

Rock gave you some pretty good advice, but I don't think it's gonna help you. It sounds as if you're pretty set in your ways and you can't change who you are...you may be able to fake it for a date or two..but the real you is gonna come out. So have fun. Go out with your friends. Meet some girls. You'll probably get hurt with the way you fall for girls so fast and you'll probably get put in the friend zone when you don't want to be there. Learn from your experiences and eventually you'll find that 'nice' girl to match you. You have plenty of time man.

[Texsox]

What would you do today if you knew you could not fail?