"you'll have wasted your life," I say to my friend on the phone while discussing whether or not she would bang Hall from Hall and Oates.

 

"No. Won't I live longer?"

 

"What?!"

 

"People who don't have sex live longer, right?"

 

"Umm, I doubt that's true."

 

"I've heard it's true."

 

"Yeah, well -- who did they use as experiment?"

I've heard if you masturbate, you go blind

 

my vision is getting worse by the day, so I think there may be something to this theory

The conversation then became: "Besides, even without 'sex' people would wank, re-creating hormones."

 

"What does it mean, to wank?"

 

"Umm, you know."

 

"What?"

 

"Guess."

 

"Uh..."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"To masturbate?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

"Girls don't do that. We don't need to."

 

"Umm, I doubt you get that answer, asking around."

 

So she asks around and hilarity ensues.

 

What a strange conversation.

I figured masturbation was bound to come up at some point in time.

You don't live longer without sex, it just SEEMS longer.

.....or so I've heard.....

You don't live longer without sex, it just SEEMS longer.

.....or so I've heard.....

 

O.K., you know where this post is going.

 

 

By the way...you have one weird friend.

By the way...you have one weird friend.

Admitting your weirdness is half the battle. I'm proud of you, my friend.

Admitting your weirdness is half the battle. I'm proud of you, my friend.

 

Not you, I'm talking about Pratt. Pratt's friend is weird.

I feel I lose a couple IQ points every time I read a GP post . . . Yet I am sickly drawn to them.

I heard if you don't use it, you lose it.

I feel I lose a couple IQ points every time I read a GP post . . . Yet I am sickly drawn to them.

 

Not you, I'm talking about Pratt. Pratt's friend is weird.

 

Yeah, and that's why we're friends and nothing more. She's crazy, and I love her to death, but she says ridiculous things that lead us down silly roads.

Yeah, and that's why we're friends and nothing more. She's crazy, and I love her to death, but she says ridiculous things that lead us down silly roads.

 

I used to have friends like that.

I used to have friends like that.

 

We also work together, so I can't just cut her off or anything. I don't care how crazy and silly her beliefs and superstitutions are because we're friends, and I don't care what my friends believe as long as they're decent people which means they can't believe in, I don't know, sabermetrics or something.

Sex is actually supposed to be GOOD for your health I thought. And any woman who says that women don't masturbate is not only a liar, but also a person who likes to "make themself feel good" quite a bit. I'm sure your friend is a lovely woman, but she probably is in love with her hand if she's in denial in that regard.

Edited December 6, 200718 yr by whitesoxfan101

I'm still trying to work out how anybody gets involved in a conversation in which the subject is whether you would bang Hall from Hall and Oates. . .

 

And for the record, I would not. I can't go for that. No can do.

I'm still trying to work out how anybody gets involved in a conversation in which the subject is whether you would bang Hall from Hall and Oates. . .

 

And for the record, I would not. I can't go for that. No can do.

 

Cause you know it don't matter anyway

when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you

 

Watch out boy, She'll chew you up!

I heard if you don't use it, you lose it.

is that a serious question?

Watch out boy, She'll chew you up!

 

they're watching you

they see your every move

Watch out boy, She'll chew you up!

 

But your kiss is on my list...

 

 

 

Anyway, I heard, everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten. See:

 

By the way, GP, if your friend wouldn't bang Hall, as her if she'll at least consider a mustache ride from Oates.

 

Milwaukee Coliseum circa 1980, they opened for ELO

 

worse.show.ever (ELO was masterful)

 

Sara Smile, thirty minutes, both guys withering on the stage, the song took sooooo much out of them to sign.

By the way, GP, if your friend wouldn't bang Hall, as her if she'll at least consider a mustache ride from Oates.

 

 

I can't believe you got that down off your bedroom wall and scanned it so fast.

I can't believe you got that down off your bedroom wall and scanned it so fast.

 

 

Even faster, I took it from the pile of old Tiger Beats I keep in my sock drawer.

 

I actually really like the earliest Hall and Oates stuff – the 1972-1974 "blue-eyed soul" stuff that KG thinks is a myth. The Rundgren-produced War Babies album is quite excellent.