JUST randomanley name solid quotes from the Simpsons that are funny ill start out......

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH wackin day ohhhh wackin day, our hollow tastes go crackin day, we'll brake the birds and shot their eyes, their evil eyes we'll pulmiarize, ohh wackin day ohh wackin day, may god be sole his grace on thee"

 

:begood

My favorite are:

 

"Bogey moving at speed insuficient for intercept. Suggest we get out and walk."

and

"If the tennis raquets don't get ya, the pool skimmers will"

Same Episode.

How about todays 5:00 episode of the Simpsons (for those in Chicago) where Jay Sherman, the critic, comes in town to judge a film festival. There were some good moments

 

Barney Gumbels video:

 

Barney: My name is Barney Gumbel and I'm an alcoholic....

Lisa: Mr. Gumbel this is a girl scouts meeting

Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls cant admit you have a problem.

(later in video)

Barney: Dont cry for me.........Im already dead.

 

Another episode in particular is the one where the lemon tree was stolen from springfield:

 

Bart: Aw, were never going to find the tree. Its as useless as that lemon shaped rock over there........wait a minute....theres a lemon behind that rock.

Another favorite was an outtake of an earlier episode shown during the "137th spectacular" The scene was imitating one of the james bond movie where he is playing blackjack.

 

Bond: Hit me dealer.

 

Bond: (Looks at card) Joker? Your supposed to take those out of the deck.

 

Homer: Sorry (hands him another one)

 

Bond: (Again looks at card) Rules of playing draw or stud poker?

 

Villian: What a pity Mr. Bond (goons remove Bond from the game)

 

Bond: I dont lose......I never lose it was Homers fault. Atleast tell me your plans for world domination.

Ok here r a few,

Duffman - "Ewww there's a mug u don't wanna chug!"

Mr. Burns and Smithers - "Having the Rollins Stones killed." "But sir those aren't.." "Do as I say!"

Homer to Bart - "Son one day you'll learn some of the days u'll ever hav are in ur very own bed." (Thinks to himself holding a big sandwich in bed) "Oh yeah... Oh Baby"

Homer and Jimmy Carter - "C'mon Carter build us a house will ya." "Hey you insulted my honor I challenge you to a ..." Homer speeds off "Come back here"

Kent Brockman - "This just in we hav a report of 2 giant lizards fighting at the aquarium. Do we hav a source on this? Hmmm... 2 teenage frat boys. Do we hav a name for them? ..... Hmmm I.P Freely. (Shakes in disgust)"

Moe - "Moe, Moe, Moe, How do ya like me, How do ya like me? Moe, Moe, Moe, Why don't u like me, Why don't u like me?"

One of the Halloween episodes went something a little like this and it's still the best ever:

 

Homer - "No TV and no beer make Homer something something."

Marge - "Go crazy?"

Homer - "Don't mind if I do!" (begin tirade of crazy Homer noises)

 

 

Here's a few other random ones:

 

Ralph - "I bent my wookie"

 

Homer - "Homer no function beer well without."

 

Ralph - "That's the deep end of the sandbox. I don't like to go there. A lephrechaun lives there and he tells me to burn things."

 

Homer - "English, who needs that? I'm never going to England!"

Homer - "Ooooh they hav internet on Computers now"

Ned Flanders - "I used to let the boys watch My 3 Sons, but it got them all worked up before bedtime"

Homer to Chief Wiggum - "You know, one day honest citizens are goin to stand up to you crooked cops." CW - "They are, oh no, hav they set a date?"

McBain - "Yah thank you, that's nice. Let's say hello to my music guy Scoey. THat is some outfit Scoey, it makes you look like a homosexual. (Audience booes) Ohhh maybe u guys are homosexuals too."

McBain - "Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up.......... That's the joke."

Homer - "Hello operator, gimme the number for 911."

Homer - "Hmmm Alcohol fuelled car (thinks to himself) 1 for u, 1 for me, 1 for u, 1 for me."

Bart - "It looks like Santa's little helper is trying to get over that other dog but cant quite make it!"

Lou - "Hey Chief he splashed me." CW - "Look no-one likes a crybaby u just splash him back."

"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to...all of life's problems.

 

"Tastes great. Makes women appear more attractive and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism."

So many good quotes, so little time...

 

Bart: Wow, Dad you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?

Homer: Oh, Bartholomew. I feel like St. Augustine of hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan

Ned: What was that?

Homer: Screw you Flanders

 

“The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes... Wait a minute. Statue of Liberty- that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!” -- Homer

 

"Inspired by the most logical race in the galaxy, the Vulcans, breeding will be permitted once every seven years. For many of you this will mean much less breeding, for me, much much more." -- Comic Book Guy

 

"Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch." -- Kent Brockman

 

And some of my favorite “mmms…”

 

mmm... 64 slices of American Cheese

mmm... mediciney

mmm... forbidden donut

mmm... sacrilicious

mmm... free goo

mmm... purple

"They call them fingers, but I don't see them finging... Oh, there they go"

"Excuse me, you'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel!"

Found this comic quite hilarious,