While looking for some song lyrics to Love the one your with, I stumbled across this. I'm not sure if it's sick, funny, or what.

 

Warning Adult Content

 

Firstly, introductions all round. My name is [removed to protect dolphinlovers], musician, pre-vet student and Delphinic Zoophile. People are often wondering just what the hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best described as a love of animals so intimate that the person (and the animal) involved have no objections to expressing their affection for each other in the sexual fashion. This is not to be confused with bestiality, where a person forcefully mates an animal, without their consent, and with no mutual feelings whatsoever. This is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.

... :puke

:headshake

 

His parents were probably clued in when they found the movie "Flipper" under his matress.

 

after reading that whole thing, I think I am going to f***ing barf.

In no way, shape or form am I suggesting that Dolphin Boy here is a well person. But some of his characterization of the sex life of dolphins is dead on.

 

Some of the things he didn't describe are some of the more interesting tidbits. Dolphins do regularly engage in sex for fun and not strictly procreative purposes. But they also regularly engage in homosexual sex, group sex, rape, gang rape (males effectively hold an unwilling female down doing the event), etc. They are very human in their sexual proclivities. The Navy has actually taught captive male dolphins to ejaculate on command. (The old dog-training command 'come' gone horribly awry, or just our tax dollars at work... you make the call).

 

A lot of ethologists (animal behavior ecologists) take all this as an indication of the generally high intelligence of dolphins. Whodathunk those friendly old dolphins were so freaky deaky?

Love the one your with

 

Can't remember who to sock it to?

 

Next time look for the lyrics of "Love the One You're With" or ask a more experienced internet user to assist you.

A dolphin slept over last night...my roomie thought she was cute.

 

Now I vomit. :puke

:puke

 

I am speechless. I am...without speech.

In no way, shape or form am I suggesting that Dolphin Boy here is a well person.  But some of his characterization of the sex life of dolphins is dead on.

Now I really want to :puke

Now I really want to  :puke

Not that I know from first-hand experience, mind you. But if the fluke fits...

Not that I know from first-hand experience, mind you.  But if the fluke fits...

 

I think this guy may need a therapist.

 

I guess he and BeGood are both big fans of the Dolphins

 

I think this guy may need a therapist.

 

I guess he and BeGood are both big fans of the Dolphins 

I agree. Although, at least he can be pretty sure his 'date' won't take offense if he tells her 'it smells like tuna.'

I agree.  Although, at least he can be pretty sure his 'date' won't take offense if he tells her 'it smells like tuna.'

i don't think i can ever look at a dolphin the same way again! :puke

Haha -- this makes me sick, I can't believe I actually read some of it.. disgusting.