Going slightly off because my son just discoved Warren Zevon

 

He's the hairy, hairy gent, who ran amok in Kent.

Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair.

You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim.

Huh, I'd like to meet his tailor.

 

and aren't werewolves and vampires close enough?

 

next Topic: Censorship

 

Zappa, The Central Scrutinizer (Joe's Garage, Act II Scene 1)

 

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to The Death Penalty (or affect your parent's credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things . . . and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC!

 

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accomodate THE FUTURE).

 

Next: Vampires. Not panzy-azz werewolves. Vampires

Rolling Stones on the Ed Sullivan Show

 

"Let's Spend Some Time Together

Now I need you more than ever."

 

Next topic: midgets

Zappa, The Central Scrutinizer (Joe's Garage, Act II Scene 1)

 

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to The Death Penalty (or affect your parent's credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things . . . and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC!

 

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accomodate THE FUTURE).

Rolling Stones on the Ed Sullivan Show

 

"Let's Spend Some Time Together

Now I need you more than ever."

 

Next topic: midgets

 

FZ (yet again), Camarillo Brillo

 

She had a snake for a pet and an amulet

And she was breeding a dwarf but she wasnt done yet

She had gray-green skin. A doll with a pin

I told her she was alright but I couldnt come in

 

Still on vampires

Edited October 26, 200718 yr by FlaSoxxJim

FZ (yet again), Camarillo Brillo

 

She had a snake for a pet and an amulet

And she was breeding a dwarf but she wasnt done yet

She had gray-green skin. A doll with a pin

I told her she was alright but I couldnt come in

 

Still on vampires

 

Vampires? A Little Neil Young

I'm a vampire, babe,

suckin' blood

from the earth

I'm a vampire, baby,

suckin' blood

from the earth.

Well, I'm a vampire, babe,

sell you

twenty barrels worth.

 

I had to google that one.

 

Anyone else with Vampire?

Vampires? A Little Neil Young

I'm a vampire, babe,

suckin' blood

from the earth

I'm a vampire, baby,

suckin' blood

from the earth.

Well, I'm a vampire, babe,

sell you

twenty barrels worth.

 

I had to google that one.

 

Anyone else with Vampire?

 

See? How hard was that?

 

I had 4 in mind, including that one (no Googling needed, mind you).

 

The no-brainer, was Sting's "Moon Over Bourbon Street."

 

More obscure unless you are a Midwest power pop enthusiast is "Aches and Pains" by Adrian Belew's band The Bears:

 

Aches and Pains, I hear some women have fangs.

I'lll help you count your scars tomorrow

 

And, completely obscure unless you are a Todd Head is Utopia's "Rock Love":

 

Let me be your protection, keep the vampires off your neck

Sample your wine and stay so near that youll never have a thing to fear

Get thee behind me, Satan!

 

See? Piece of cake.

 

Cake?

 

Cibo Matto - "Birthday Cake"

 

Do you have a headache or heartbreak?

Are you made or broken by the birthday cake?

You may be slow on the uptake

I pour pot in the birthday cake

So what! say what! for my own sake

 

Next topic: Butter

Cake?

 

Cibo Matto - "Birthday Cake"

 

Do you have a headache or heartbreak?

Are you made or broken by the birthday cake?

You may be slow on the uptake

I pour pot in the birthday cake

So what! say what! for my own sake

 

Next topic: Butter

 

This Long-Distance Dedication goes out all the other really old SoxTalkers. Released in 1968 by the Foundations, and hitting number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100, it's Build Me Up, Buttercup.

 

Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby just to let me down and mess me around?

And then worst of all you never call, baby, hen you say you will, but I love you still.

 

Next: salad

 

FZ (yet again), Camarillo Brillo

 

She had a snake for a pet and an amulet

And she was breeding a dwarf but she wasnt done yet

She had gray-green skin. A doll with a pin

I told her she was alright but I couldnt come in

 

Still on vampires

Have I ever told you I love you?

This Long-Distance Dedication goes out all the other really old SoxTalkers. Released in 1968 by the Foundations, and hitting number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100, it's Build Me Up, Buttercup.

 

Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby just to let me down and mess me around?

And then worst of all you never call, baby, hen you say you will, but I love you still.

 

Next: salad

 

Elvis, who I am certain covered someone

 

Polk Salad Annie, gator got your granny

 

Topic: Jilted at the alter

Elvis, who I am certain covered someone

 

Polk Salad Annie, gator got your granny

 

Topic: Jilted at the alter

 

You'll have to settle for jilted and in the general vicinity...

 

Way down below there's a half a million people

Somewhere there's a church with a big tall steeple

Inside the church, all filled with flowers

Wedding bells are ringing. They shoulda been ours.

That's why I'm so lonely way up above

High on the mountain of love.

 

Topic: Any US President

Frank Zappa - Dickie's Such an Asshole

 

Won't somebody kindly tell me,

What's the government is tryin' t' do...

Dickie's just to tricky

For a chump like me to use

You take that sub-committee seriously, boy

You could get a seizure from the evenin' news

[...]

The man in the White House -- oooh!

He's got a conscience black as sin!

There's just one thing I wanna know --

How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

 

 

Next: pi, and no, not the food

You asked for it!

 

I did three chicks then I pointed at the doorA girl entered in so that made it fourI snapped one time in came another fiveAdd 'em all up and that makes nineThe average age 26.5Now that's what I call gettin' some piNext: Stupid People

Edited October 27, 200718 yr by FlaSoxxJim

I did want to stop using Zappa songs, but I can't help it with this one:

 

Zappa - Dumb all Over

 

They call it the earth

Which is a dumb kinda name

But they named it right

cause we behave the same...

We are dumb all over

Dumb all over,

Yes we are

Dumb all over,

Near n far

Dumb all over,

Black n white

People, we is not wrapped tight

 

 

Next: the color orange

 

(fantastic video btw)

Edited October 27, 200718 yr by Felix

I did want to stop using Zappa songs, but I can't help it with this one:

 

Next: the color orange

 

Burt Ward (Robin, Boy Wonder)

 

I was walking along, minding my business

When out of an orange-colored sky . . .

FLASH! BAM! ALAKAZAM!

Wonderful you came by

 

Elliot Ingber of the Mothers of Invention played guitar on this record. On the flip-side "Boy Wonder, I Love You", Roy Estrada and Jimmy Carl "I'm the Indian of the group" Black also played bass and drums.

This thing was produced by Frank Zappa. Kinda weird.

 

Next topic: Bats

Edited October 27, 200718 yr by BigEdWalsh

Burt Ward (Robin, Boy Wonder)

 

I was walking along, minding my business

When out of an orange-colored sky . . .

FLASH! BAM! ALAKAZAM!

Wonderful you came by

 

Elliot Ingber of the Mothers of Invention played guitar on this record. On the flip-side "Boy Wonder, I Love You", Roy Estrada and Jimmy Carl "I'm the Indian of the group" Black also played bass and drums.

This thing was produced by Frank Zappa. Kinda weird.

 

Next topic: Bats

 

Can it be anyone else but Meatloaf with Bat out of Hell?

 

Like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when morning comes

 

Next Topic: Food

Cibo Matto - "Spoon"

 

Can't find the spoon that we once had.

The sugar cube will melt no more.

 

Next topic: Sugar

I was going to keep the Zappa Love Fest going with some Beefheart battiness, but Meatloaf works too.

 

A chain with yellow lights that glistens like oil beads

On its slick smooth trunk that trails behind on tracks, and thumps

A wing hangs limp and retreats

 

Bat chain puller, puller, puller

 

Sugar: How and Oldie but Goodie from Rhonda Weiss and the Rhondettes

 

They say you gave rats cancer and I say that can't be true

Because you're just so very sweet, that's something you'd never do

I love you, I needed you, we had a fine relation

'Till last week when it was ruined by the Food and Drug Administration

 

And I can look everywhere from Arkansas to Akron

But, sugar there's no sugar substitute to substitute for saccharin!

 

Saccharin! Goodbye, sacc-ha-rine! Bye bye!

 

Next: Hotdogs

Next: Hotdogs

 

Oscar Mayer

 

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner

That is what I truly wish to be

cause if i were a oscar mayer weiner

everyone would be in love

oh everyone would be in love

everyone would be in love with me

 

 

Next Topic:

 

Hound Dogs(bonus points for bassets )