Oh, it's terrible. I saw him live for the first time of ever seeing his standup. It was funny because I was drinking and it was Danny Tanner cursing and talking about f***ing the Olsen twins. I saw a special of his since then, and it was the exact same routine. I mean exactly the same.

Same story for me. I thought he was funny so I checked out more of his stuff. Same thing exactly. Same words, same order of words. He strikes me as the kind of dude who calls his credit card company under the guise of clarifying a statement but really just to ramble off old John Stamos stories to someone who is paid to not hang up. He loves John Stamos IIRC, I mean like really.

No way astroglide because it refers to space and entering the unknown.

 

Astroglide forever.

 

That sounds like a Pink Floyd song. Also a bit of a double entendre.

 

My biceps hurt from lifting like Juan Pierre. Oh, and I still can't get over the fact that Juan Pierre does 30 pound bicep curls.

The double entendre is what makes astroglide the hilarious product that it is.

 

 

"All in your ass?"

 

That sounds painful.

If you're used to being full of s*** then the extra stretching isn't so bad.

Same story for me. I thought he was funny so I checked out more of his stuff. Same thing exactly. Same words, same order of words. He strikes me as the kind of dude who calls his credit card company under the guise of clarifying a statement but really just to ramble off old John Stamos stories to someone who is paid to not hang up. He loves John Stamos IIRC, I mean like really.

 

Isn't that about 99.8% of the nation? And I do mean like really.

 

John Stamos is a f***ing stallion. Like, I literally think he is a stallion or was a centaur in a former life.

 

Like, you know how you look at certain people, and certain animals come to mind? When I see Chris Bosh, I see a turtle. Well when I see John Stamos, I quite literally see a stallion running through a field, his hair being strewn about in the wind, coming towards me in slow motion.

 

It's really a mind altering experience.

By the way, just so we are aware, I am currently sober.

Can't really get the stallion image there, but now that you mention it, Chris Bosh does look like a turtle. Seriously, lol.

 

Edit: Too bad he's not a turtle because then he wouldn't be able to get up after flopping like a b****.

Edited May 4, 201114 yr by Kenny Hates Prospects

There are a lot of people that look like monkeys and gorillas too, but that makes sense considering humans are primates, so I sort of try to avoid mentioning those.

 

There was someone that I thought looked a lot like a donkey this weekend too, but I can't remember who it was.

I havent been drinking.

 

And how cant you like Uncle Jesse, Rebecca Donaldson was hot.

Great thread; great jokes.

On a serious note, can the Sox just kill the 'All-in' promotion entirely?

Get it off the websites; get it off commercials.

 

It sickens me.

All in? My ass!

Great thread; great jokes.

On a serious note, can the Sox just kill the 'All-in' promotion entirely?

Get it off the websites; get it off commercials.

 

It sickens me.

All in? My ass!

It's becoming kind of funny though, no?

 

When you watch it as if it were sarcastic, it's absolutely golden.

Because they already paid for those crappy adds and wont let us run ads using crayons and loosely put together ideas.

I havent been drinking.

 

And how cant you like Uncle Jesse, Rebecca Donaldson was hot.

 

I don't think people realize what a badass Uncle Jesse was. Also, who knew Danny could shred like that? You may say that Bob Saget's jokes suck, but goddamn could he play a guitar.

Edited May 4, 201114 yr by witesoxfan

If they ran new ads they'd probably just be even more annoying. It would be Greg Walker defending the offense, or KW preemptively blaming the fans for the inevitable payroll cut at season's end.

It's becoming kind of funny though, no?

 

When you watch it as if it were sarcastic, it's absolutely golden.

 

Watching sarcastically...that's actually a good reason to see the Sox.

Watching sarcastically...that's actually a good reason to see the Sox.

Just have the commercials be "Hawk's Greatest Hits" with the Benny Hill Yaketty Sax music playing in the background. And then at the end they could say "White Sox Baseball.... that's all we got."

 

Edit: you could do an entire commercial on the hiney bird explanation alone. Also the play where Beckham? IIRC fouls a ball off his nuts and Hawk laughs about it for twenty minutes, like "Heeeehhheeeeeeeeeeee heeeeheeeeeheeee HEEEEEE heeeEEEEE" like that fisherman guy on TV, whatever his name is. Nobody here knows what I'm talking about.

Edited May 4, 201114 yr by Kenny Hates Prospects

Comedy gold

It's pretty cool to see that people are taking this with a smile here on Soxtalk. It's OK for us because we're all going to be here again next year.

 

I'm scared that this overwhelming disappointment is going to seriously hurt the organization for a long time, though. Normal fans are just going to stop going to games for years. It's only good in the sense that it will help the team purge the riffraff from the organization.

I don't know if any of you follow the Sox on SSS, but this was recently posted.....and it made me laugh pretty hard.

 

Hope it helps.

 

http://emojuanuribe.tumblr.com/

 

 

he really is my little hero

Edited May 4, 201114 yr by witesoxfan

I just realized that Badger really does not like Bobak sausage. In fact, he hates it.

 

BOYCOTT BOBAK...IT'LL GIVE YOU THE RUNS

 

(Sox should eat lots of Bobak sausage)

Nepotism Night would be great. Everyone that has a job because of their dad would receive either an Oney Bobblehead or a KW Jr. Bobblehead

:lolhitting

http://www.flickr.com/photos/55981311@N06/.../in/photostream

Edited May 4, 201114 yr by Swingandalongonetoleft

And how cant you like Uncle Jesse, Rebecca Donaldson was hot.

 

To you kids he's "Uncle Jesse," but he'll always be "Blackie" to me.

 

Besides, the name Blackie is more in keeping with the title of this thread.