Texsox Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jul 20, 2015 -> 03:31 PM) Such a discrepancy between the outrage over "everyone gets a trophy and winning isnt important" and the behavior of the ridiculous amount of helicopter parents that exist today. Parents today are 1000 more involved in their kids lives and often are the main problem. And that's where I think I have a huge advantage over some coaches. All my years in sales taught me to work with people. And the more difficult to work with, the better. The parents want to be involved. So get them involved. Just channel it so the involvement is productive. Keep them informed. Coaches that lack confidence do not want to be challenged by parents so they keep things secret. That opens them up to guessing. I run towards upset parents instead of away. It doesn't happen often but I'll offer to grab a cup of coffee and discuss the issues. Almost always there is a lack of information on one side or the other. My team is composed of kids from a magnet high school on our campus and the students from the main campus. I teach at the main school and have little knowledge of what is going on at the other high school. Sometimes there are conflicts that need to be worked out. Also as a coach and teacher I always recognize that the child and the parent are two different people. I allow each to operate independently. But I have never (and I know it will happen some day) had a parent who I could not work with. By the way at my wife's private school they talked about curling parents. They lead the way sweeping problems out of their kid's way so they can just glide along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 The other disconnect I see is many youth programs that require volunteers to be successful struggle to get parents to volunteer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ Jul 21, 2015 -> 04:55 PM) Maybe most of the kids didn't like the fact that their parents didn't attend or cared? I don't know because my parents went to my sporting events when i was a kid. Their was only a handful of times at least one of my parents weren't at the games. Did they stay and watch practice, no, they dropped off and left (or if my sister was along, did something with her while I practiced). And by no means were my parents helicopter parents. I also don't know many people who didn't have parents attend. I rarely played in games where the stands weren't full (and it wasn't random people watching us play little league or AYSO...it was parents and/or grandparents). Now if you are referring to high school, I'd say that would differ and parents would come a lot less often (but that was partly because of the time of day the games were played...no longer all that conducive to working parents). Same with me. My parents were at pretty much every single sporting event I ever played in and for the most part, my friends/teammates had their parents there watching them as well. My parents were far from helicopter parents. I was allowed to walk the 6 or 7 blocks to school by the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I was allowed to ride my bike around my neighborhood and I was allowed to play outside until it got dark but they very rarely missed any of my games. Based on stories I've read and movies/TV shows I've seen, the generation before mine didn't have a lot of parent involvement in sports. I'm thinking maybe back in the 60's or 70's. Not so much in the 80's and 90's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ Jul 21, 2015 -> 09:55 PM) Maybe most of the kids didn't like the fact that their parents didn't attend or cared? I don't know because my parents went to my sporting events when i was a kid. Their was only a handful of times at least one of my parents weren't at the games. Did they stay and watch practice, no, they dropped off and left (or if my sister was along, did something with her while I practiced). And by no means were my parents helicopter parents. I also don't know many people who didn't have parents attend. I rarely played in games where the stands weren't full (and it wasn't random people watching us play little league or AYSO...it was parents and/or grandparents). Now if you are referring to high school, I'd say that would differ and parents would come a lot less often (but that was partly because of the time of day the games were played...no longer all that conducive to working parents). None of the kids cared that parents were not at the games. On the South Side of Chicago in Mt. Greenwood, most of the parents at the time worked hard and partied hard. They either didn't come home until very late at night after work drunk, as drinking and driving wasn't as big a deal back in the day (the cops on the south side tended to make sure you got home but rarely arrested you), or they would be too tired to go to one of their kids' little league games or youth basketball games. They liked to stay home and sit in the yard and slug beers or watch the Sox on TV. Parents wouldn't even dream of talking to their kids' Little League coaches. Like I said, my dad was shocked at the quality of play (outstanding play) when he finally went to one of our playoff games. I know parents of kids on our LL team were happy the fields at 115th Street were not that far away and all the kids rode their bikes to the games. Then they wouldn't have to drive the kids to the games. The weird thing is the kids who played Little League on my team are one of the first generations to monitor every moment of their kids' lives after their lives were so carefree and un-monitored. Weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 QUOTE (Iwritecode @ Jul 22, 2015 -> 10:49 AM) Same with me. My parents were at pretty much every single sporting event I ever played in and for the most part, my friends/teammates had their parents there watching them as well. My parents were far from helicopter parents. I was allowed to walk the 6 or 7 blocks to school by the time I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I was allowed to ride my bike around my neighborhood and I was allowed to play outside until it got dark but they very rarely missed any of my games. Based on stories I've read and movies/TV shows I've seen, the generation before mine didn't have a lot of parent involvement in sports. I'm thinking maybe back in the 60's or 70's. Not so much in the 80's and 90's. Yep. I was the same way. Other then sports, my friends and I had bikes and we'd go all over the place without our parents. Basically from daylight to sunset we were on the roam and then usually back in the neighborhood around nightfall, but even then, more often then not (at least in the summer) outside shooting hoops or just running around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I grew up a few blocks from a lake. We were always "trespassing" on people's docks. Fishing, swimming, goofing off. We were never asked to leave. I can't imagine that today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 QUOTE (greg775 @ Jul 22, 2015 -> 02:02 PM) None of the kids cared that parents were not at the games. On the South Side of Chicago in Mt. Greenwood, most of the parents at the time worked hard and partied hard. They either didn't come home until very late at night after work drunk, as drinking and driving wasn't as big a deal back in the day (the cops on the south side tended to make sure you got home but rarely arrested you), or they would be too tired to go to one of their kids' little league games or youth basketball games. They liked to stay home and sit in the yard and slug beers or watch the Sox on TV. Parents wouldn't even dream of talking to their kids' Little League coaches. Like I said, my dad was shocked at the quality of play (outstanding play) when he finally went to one of our playoff games. I know parents of kids on our LL team were happy the fields at 115th Street were not that far away and all the kids rode their bikes to the games. Then they wouldn't have to drive the kids to the games. The weird thing is the kids who played Little League on my team are one of the first generations to monitor every moment of their kids' lives after their lives were so carefree and un-monitored. Weird. So Greg, what you described, is not a way I could personally parent / raise my kids. I didn't have kids so I could ignore them and not be their and help raise them. I'm not going to be their to hand everything to them, but I do want to be their for their sports moments, etc. And when I had kids, I understood it came with responsibilities and that meant that often times my priorities would take a back seat (and I don't view it as a bad thing...you just have fun doing different things). Before my kids, I wouldn't have wanted to go to the park, but now taking my daughter to the park and pushing her on the swings is something her and I enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Finding a balance between smothering the kids and being labeled a helicopter parent and ignoring the kids and never attending is the challenge for some parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ Jul 23, 2015 -> 03:55 PM) So Greg, what you described, is not a way I could personally parent / raise my kids. I didn't have kids so I could ignore them and not be their and help raise them. I'm not going to be their to hand everything to them, but I do want to be their for their sports moments, etc. And when I had kids, I understood it came with responsibilities and that meant that often times my priorities would take a back seat (and I don't view it as a bad thing...you just have fun doing different things). Before my kids, I wouldn't have wanted to go to the park, but now taking my daughter to the park and pushing her on the swings is something her and I enjoy. True and great post. And you sound like a VERY GOOD parent! However you are a great case study for this issue because as a kid you were allowed to roam free like I was. Isn't there a part of you that feels sorry for your kids cause they won't be able to do that? And my other question is: No way in hell you would EVER let your kids roam around during the day as you were allowed to do, right? My guess is no way in hell you'd allow that. My take has always been the parents of today long ago were convinced if their kids could have that type of carefree, roam around, play with the neighbors kids at the park a mile from home unsupervised, they'd be so worried about kidnappers they just wouldn't be able to function. Folks, kidnappers ruined our society and guess what ... there aren't that many kidnappers out there. Edited July 24, 2015 by greg775 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 I was just coming to mention the kidnapping angle. There is a 40 year old child disappearance that is just now being prosecuted and they point to that even as the start of the watch your kids all the time generation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg775 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 QUOTE (Tex @ Jul 24, 2015 -> 02:57 AM) I was just coming to mention the kidnapping angle. There is a 40 year old child disappearance that is just now being prosecuted and they point to that even as the start of the watch your kids all the time generation. Wow. I always knew it was the fear of kidnappers. Nice post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 QUOTE (greg775 @ Jul 23, 2015 -> 10:37 PM) Wow. I always knew it was the fear of kidnappers. Nice post. But that also really oversimplifies the situation. Our perception of what a great parent is gets shaped all the time by our society. ChiSox isn't going to the park with his daughter as a bodyguard, but as a dad who wants to spend time with his daughter. As the Donna Reed, Laura Petri, Carol Brady moms began working as the norm there were images of the woman who could earn the bacon, fry it up, and make her man remember he was a man all the while being the same involved in the PTA, packing their lunch, watching games, mom. That also extended to the dads. But we have been growing up with an image of the world as a hostile place filled with bad people who only look out for themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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