Telemarketers

[sox4lifeinPA]

Call me crazy, but I don't mind talking to select groups of telemarketers. I just got a call from my previous health care provider (I just changed jobs) and I didn't care about spending 5 minutes on the phone answering questions. I continued doing what I was doing and was very polite, I even made the woman laugh and I think brightened her otherwise dismal telemarketing life. (because of people like the jackasses that I know will respond to this thread negatively )

 

thoughts?

[Gregory Pratt]

I try to be courteous to everyone who approaches me with something. I love talking to telemarketers.

[EvilMonkey]

I did telemarketing many many years ago, so i TRY to be nice. But when the same place calls me every other week, and despite my attempts to get off their list, I start to get rude. Plus, I have a simple last name. JUDD, you know, like the country singers or the actress? When someone pronounces it JUDE, I go nuts. Its a simple f*cking name. Do you live in a cave and not listen to any music or watch any movies? OTHERWISE, I try to be nice, really I do. Just ask Juddling, he hears me on the phone with them daily.

[FlaSoxxJim]

Call me crazy, but I don't mind talking to select groups of telemarketers. I just got a call from my previous health care provider (I just changed jobs) and I didn't care about spending 5 minutes on the phone answering questions. I continued doing what I was doing and was very polite, I even made the woman laugh and I think brightened her otherwise dismal telemarketing life. (because of people like the jackasses that I know will respond to this thread negatively )

 

thoughts?

 

Now when they call me, instead of cursing them out and hanging up I will give them YOUR number.

[Queen Prawn]

I can be nice, but if the f***ing company/charity doesn't get an answer after calling 100 times (and I mean that number literally, not figuratively), patience isn't the first thing that comes to mind. Most times I will ignore the call and let my answering machine take it. After getting some news that I got yesterday, I answered waited the customary 3 seconds and told them to bugger off.

 

The one that really pissed me off was the charity that sent me a letter looking for my donation that I pledged on 10/28/05. I can guarantee I was a little too preoccupied to pledge to anyone that day (I got married the next day).

[sox4lifeinPA]

I guess I should stipulate that I only have a cell phone, so the number hasn't been whored out over the years.

 

I only get calls from people that have some relevancy to my life

[Kid Gleason]

I try to be polite with a quick "No, sorry" and then hang up. You do know that there are scams out there where they pose as a telemarketer and get you to talk to them, while they record the conversation. Then they take the snippets out of the conversation such as you saying "yeah" or "yes" and turn it into a recorded conversation of you agreeing to a bunch of their crap, and thereby gaining access to your money and crap. I've seen numerous specials on these things, and that is why you are told to answer as quickly as possible and never to use the words "yes" or any other agreeable term.

 

The only ones I am somewhat rude to are the police fundraising drives they do about this time of year. But then I am only rude to them because they are never courteous to me, and are always a pain to get off the phone with.

[southsider2k5]

I try to be polite with a quick "No, sorry" and then hang up. You do know that there are scams out there where they pose as a telemarketer and get you to talk to them, while they record the conversation. Then they take the snippets out of the conversation such as you saying "yeah" or "yes" and turn it into a recorded conversation of you agreeing to a bunch of their crap, and thereby gaining access to your money and crap. I've seen numerous specials on these things, and that is why you are told to answer as quickly as possible and never to use the words "yes" or any other agreeable term.

 

The only ones I am somewhat rude to are the police fundraising drives they do about this time of year. But then I am only rude to them because they are never courteous to me, and are always a pain to get off the phone with.

 

Ask them what percentage of their donations goes directly to your local police department. That'll shut them up.

[The Critic]

I just give 'em the "quick click". Don't even listen to a word of the spiel.

[Texsox]

If I have the time, I enjoy chatting with them as either the senile old fool who can't remember anything or the really bad comedian. For a while, my neighborhood was being constantly called for replacement windows. Those guys were such a pane! I could see right through their offer. All with loud, really obnoxious laughing. The senile old man works great also. That sounds interesting, yes I would be interested in that, it is an exciting offer, what flavor is that pudding again? I love tapioca pudding, but chocolate is nice too. Sometimes my mommy brings we chocolate pudding with whipped cream, do you like whipped cream?

[YASNY]

If I have the time, I enjoy chatting with them as either the senile old fool who can't remember anything or the really bad comedian. For a while, my neighborhood was being constantly called for replacement windows. Those guys were such a pane! I could see right through their offer. All with loud, really obnoxious laughing. The senile old man works great also. That sounds interesting, yes I would be interested in that, it is an exciting offer, what flavor is that pudding again? I love tapioca pudding, but chocolate is nice too. Sometimes my mommy brings we chocolate pudding with whipped cream, do you like whipped cream?

 

Every time I get a telemarketer call ... I rant and rave. Give them a good old fashioned cussin'. Get as vile and offensive as possible. Threaten their mothers and their daughters.

 

 

 

Right after I hang up the phone.

[mreye]

The only ones I am somewhat rude to are the police fundraising drives they do about this time of year. But then I am only rude to them because they are never courteous to me, and are always a pain to get off the phone with.

 

I went off on them once because it was the third call I received that week, all from a different police organization. Fraternal Order of Police Fund, State Police Fund, Fallen Officers Fund. She told me, "We're all different and it's up to you to decide who best suits your donation." I said, "I'm too lazy to do that, so by triple dipping, you all lose!"

 

The only other two times I went off was when one called before the 9am time limit. I gave her a break, though because I think her computer was off due to the screwed up Daylight Savings Time in Indiana. Then once when they called on a Sunday: "You've got to be kidding me! You're calling me on a Sunday? What is wrong with you people?" I think he got that a lot that day because he just replied, "Yeah, I know."

 

 

Other than that, I usually say, "No thanks" and hang up.

[CanOfCorn]

If I hear silence for more than a second or two after I say 'hello' then a simple click will do. Otherwise, a "no thanks, not interested" followed by a click works.

 

One day I came home to 10 messages on my answering machine. ALL OF THEM FROM TELEMARKETERS AND ALL HANG-UPS!!!

 

Now, I just pick-up and hang-up the phone in VERY quick succession.

 

And from Milpitas Mom:

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/humor/007.htm

 

Ways To Really Annoy Telemarketers

 

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

 

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."

 

3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask them how to spell "Milpitas." Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

 

4. This one works better if you're male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. [a few seconds' pause] Okay, [in really husky voice] What are you wearing? Telemarketer: [Click.]

 

5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

 

6. Say "no", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

 

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

 

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?" Alternate: "Sorry, my floor is made of stone."

 

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh", "rilly" or "how fascinating". Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them you couldn't just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.

 

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from WaterTronics." You: "WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Milpitas, California." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business? The weather?!?" Telemarketer: "Sorry, we can't sell to employees." You: "Oh, okay. Bye!"

 

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

 

12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give you their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". You say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. You say "Now you know how I feel!" Hang-up.

 

13. Breath heavily and tell them you were in the middle of having sex with your wife/husband. Tell them that the deal sounds good, but you are not waiting for another month to finish the sex.

 

14. Sound happy to see hear from them, and ask them if they have (a) insurance (B) a burial plot, or © a stock broker and that you are one.

 

15. Say "speak up" and continue to do so.

 

16. Keep one of those personal siren alarms near the phone.

 

17. Ask them if they are aware that you are with the District Attorney's Office, Division of Consumer Fraud, and that the conversation is being taped.

[Goldmember]

i did telemarketing for 7 months in college and hated it. i used to love it when people would just simply hang up and i'd usually try to put it as a do not call back if i wasn't being watched (wasn't supposed to do that). i also liked it if people knew enough to immediately say to take them off our calling list when i started my whole intro. about the only thing that would make me give you the runaround is if you started yelling at me. i'm personally not the one who called you before (it's all random who calls who and the probability it was me is very, very low) and have no control over that and i, like most people, hate being yelled at, so yelling at me is pretty pointless and you will go nowhere with that. there are times you need to be an ass. i knew of a few dicks where i worked who got a rise out of pestering people, but in general i'd say use yelling as a last resort. if you tell them 'no' or 'i'm not interested', if that person is doing their job you will be rebuttalled 2+ times. the best method is to simply just to tell them to take you off their calling list. it will get you off the list of calls for that particular product from that call center. companies (visa, discover, amex, etc.--you're mostly probably called about a credit card) usually don't do the telemarketing themselves--they hire out to telemarketing companies--so don't go thinking you'll never get a call again from visa again...

[DrunkBomber]

I normally wouldnt answer if I didnt recognize the number but I have recently gotten some calles on my cell phone during my peak minutes which I thought was interesting. There was no way I was gonna listen to a word they said at that point.