The Beast

QUOTE (MHizzle85 @ Feb 12, 2010 -> 03:17 PM) IMO, I'd keep it casual. If you're doing something in Naperville, I wouldn't go for anywhere too fancy. I was thinking of Mongolian BBQ, not La Sorella Di Francesca.

So I'm going home for valentine's day this weekend because everyone else is leaving campus. There's a girl back home that I've been rather flirty with lately and we still don't know each other that well. What's appropriate, dinner, drinks and hanging out somewhere afterwards? I know very little about her but I wanted to get to know her better. Should I take her out? Where's a good place? I was thinking of downtown Naperville.

QUOTE (SoxFan1 @ Feb 10, 2010 -> 04:49 PM) You're age range is fine. The 17-19 year olds are fun if you want to hook up, but if you're looking for a relationship, the more intellectual/mature is the way to go. And the 2nd question honestly baffles me a bit. If you meet a girl and ask her for her email address...well s***, I dunno. I'm baffled. Get the phone number. ALWAYS. Time to stop with reading David DeAngelo's content. What a bastard. I'm definitely looking for a relationship so I'll stick with 20-24.

QUOTE (chwhtsox @ Feb 10, 2010 -> 10:07 AM) The thing you have to keep in mind is that you can't make it seem like you're going out of your way to be an ***hole. In your hypothetical situation it should go like this... Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having" The bartender hands you the drink and you slide it over to her friend (girl B ) and walk away. I haven't had much success with that approach so I'll give you one that I have had success with. Girl A is at the bar. you walk up. "bartender, can I get another one of what she's having and a miller lite", give her the drink. find out her name and hang out with her a bit. I've had the most success "people watching", making fun of people in the bar. Nobody criticizes people like women do, they love it. The point is to get her laughing. She will see that you can be an ***hole but she'll keep talking to you because it's not directed at her. The first night isn't so much about being an ***hole as it is showing her your sense of humor. You want to show her a good time the first night. After that you wait 2 or 3 days before talking to her again, the ***hole in you should be natural. You're in no hurry to make plans and the general attitude is "whatever". An important note is that you don't want to be an ***hole everyday. You have to show her flashes of that guy she had fun with at the bar. It's a fine line that will take a lot of practice to master. The approach seems to work, I just haven't developed my personality yet. What I mean by that is I haven't really fleshed out yet who I want to be. I used to be a deep introvert who was opposed to social events and was satisfied with limited contacts, nights of video games and doing nothing but World of Warcraft and other bulls*** of the like. Now I am going out, trying to polish up on some social skills I missed out on my first year of college and am generally just wanting to have a good time and meet new people. That sounds like a good approach to take. I just need to remember to stay clear of the friend zone and get to know something concrete about her. Two questions -- I'm going to be 22 and I think the appropriate age range is 20-24. I don't go for 17-19 year olds. Is my age range a good target? What's more important on getting, the email or the phone number? QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Feb 10, 2010 -> 10:10 AM) Honestly, I've found the best way to get in well with girls is to have some friends who are girls. The easiest thing is to be nice to your buddies' girlfriends, and they will pass this on to their friends. I'd have to say the vast majority of my girlfriends were picked up this way. Funny you mention that - the guys I have hung with generally don't have girlfriends and the one who has a girlfriend is friends with a bunch of b****es. Not to mention they are all the artsy type who latch onto their little clique of friends. QUOTE (KyYlE23 @ Feb 10, 2010 -> 10:36 AM) You are taking the conversation prior out of context Ross. The "play hard to get/be an ass" scenario was discussed about guys who already had established friend relationships with girls and were unsure about their standing with those girls. If you want to walk up and be a prick right off the bat at a bar, prepare to wipe a few drinks off your face. The concept of being cocky and funny is foreign to me. I'm the guy who gets too caught up in the friend zone. As far as Valentine's Day goes, if I was back home I would definitely treat my current female of interest out and indulge in a long evening of sex.

So let me get this straight. Hypothetically, I approach girl A at the bar and say "Hi, my name is Ross" and start up a conversation. When do you stop being nice and start being arrogant or rude to get said girl A to chase after you? Naturally, I would want to know what they are studying and what they are into with their life instead of just what they are doing later on and what they are drinking at the moment. When are we supposed to go up and after the initial point of contact start being a dick? Do we need to play hard to get as well? I'm not an arrogant and cocky guy and bars/clubs aren't really my scene, but I would like to succeed in this given situation, that's for sure. Enlighten me about nice guys "finishing last" and how those nice guys might want to approach those situations.

Damnit Badgers, I had more faith in you than that. f*** you, Illini...(I'm such an NU fan it's not even funny.)

Let's go Badgers!

20/25, missed Perez, Harris, Cotts, Marte and Vizcaino.

What should a single guy do on Valentine's Day? Bar? Go home and shag some one at home? Just curious.

QUOTE (SoxAce @ Feb 8, 2010 -> 04:24 PM) We've had multiple ones on this board.. You know that. Gotta be careful with the noob mods though. That's true, I know that. Didn't know who was a moderator on the board though. Seriesly. (I remember when someone used that in the thread and it was kind of silly.)

QUOTE (iamshack @ Feb 8, 2010 -> 03:58 PM) I think it was only a matter of time until this happened... Guys, relationship thread. If you want to create a sexuality thread or something, be my guest. But keep it somewhat respectable so if a woman chooses to read it she can't sue us. I would love to see what happens with a sexuality thread. Seriesly.

Is the taste of p**** better when you are hooking up or with someone you genuinely like and are with? That's the question I'm proposing.

I wasn't drunk last night but enjoyed the Washington Apple and Las Vegas Bomb shots that I had.

QUOTE (kjshoe04 @ Feb 5, 2010 -> 12:21 PM) Hey guys for class I'm supposed to either talk to a lawyer or call a law office to find the answers to this so I figured I'd ask the lawyers of soxtalk to help me out. Here's what I need to know. find what type of entities (business organizations) you can file in the state of Illinois and what it costs... also what it costs if you hire an attorney to do it... (Filling Fees, Filling requirements) There might be some sort of information on www.findlaw.com. Not sure if that will give you all that you need but it was helpful for my business law class.

QUOTE (Tex @ Feb 5, 2010 -> 05:57 AM) Actually I will reject that argument (wow, what a surprise) Some careers pay less, some more. Some people are happy working any job as long as it pays well. Others want to follow their passion. So sure, you should pick a major based on cost/benefit, others should not. I often wonder if it is possible to do both. One of my passions, like everyone elses on this board, is the White Sox. My other passion is the Bears, another helping people and another when I think about it is influencing and persuading others. So really what does that translate to? Several options. J-school, political science, business and counseling education or psychology. I fall under the category of social and enterprising occupations. These include teaching, psychologist, manager, lawyer, etc. Ultimately, this is probably why a liberal arts education fits best. So to say that I'm just working toward my passion or just towards money isn't exactly accurate, but I would fall under the people who work because it pays well and it is satisfying.

QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Feb 5, 2010 -> 02:41 AM) Anybody do the long distance thing? Ive been with my girlfriend for over two years, from senior year in high school to present and about a hear and half of that has been long distance. Ive been at UIllinois and she went to GVSU her freshman year and is now at Purdue. I still have feelings for her (which astounds me still) but this whole long distance thing is really getting to me. There are some periods where I cant stand it and other times I dont mind it. Im back in that I cant stand it stage though. Here's what happened in my experience. I go to explore colleges and not really knowing what it is that I want. I search out schools close to home like UIC or NIU to be close to her, and then I find one that is close to UIllinois in EIU. Other than that, I had no clue of where to go but I chose Eastern for several different reasons at the time. I made a huge mistake and if I had just broken up with her then, I could have gone elsewhere to school or started out at a community college for a year while I found out what I really wanted out of a college. Had I done things better, I likely would have gone to NIU or UIC which are the more ideal of campuses for me. There is only so much you can talk about on the phone before there's dead air between you and the girl. I thought at 2 years of dating at the time that it'd last and it did, for another year and a half. That year and a half wasn't the greatest. You live and learn I guess.

QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 08:07 PM) In just about any field, if you want to get ahead, you won't be a "9-5" guy. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to write for a living, but don't let the long hours you've seen there be the main obstacle. That's kind of the reason why I want to shadow certain people to see what they do for a living. Business as a major is generic so it will allow me to check out a variety of industries. The goal is to get a degree and shadow certain jobs over my breaks. You don't have to have a PR degree to work in PR, though you do need a teacher's cert and a master's degree for guidance counseling. Again, we will see what happens. Right now I just want to get my degree and see what comes my way. For all I know I'll end up being involved in a service organization. I'm still trying to figure out what really is my "life's work," though.

QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 06:01 PM) OK, hold the phone. I wasn't saying bmags wouldn't like it - that wasn't my point. And, I have to ask... if you hated all those things, why did you choose Journalism at all? Again, coming out of high school I really didn't know what to do. In high school I worked on the school paper and it was okay, so I figured I'd follow my initial "dream job" and try to cover the White Sox and Bears like Gonzales and Haugh do. After all, "they say" do what you love. Little did I know how competitive the industry was and what people have to do to be successful. Our newspaper was monthly and when I reached college I was like a deer in headlights when I figured out the daily pressures of j-school. I took some assignments and wrote about the swim team. In high school I was a reporter and then I worked as an editor so I didn't really do all of the stuff reporters do my senior year of HS. I also was fascinated at broadcasting at one point but wasn't really a good source of talent. When I looked at Eastern I felt like it was the best department for me along with education, so I tried them all out. That's when I found out what the newspaper industry is really like and when I returned home my freshman year, I had no clue of what I was going to study for my freshman year. Journalism is an interesting topic, but I'm probably more suited for PR. QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 06:03 PM) Also, you don't necessarily have to be in reporting or newspapers to to journalism. And what field do you plan on getting into that doesn't have deadline pressures? I've had deadline pressures non-stop since October. Any field. The other thing that kind of made me upset with journalism is that I didn't really meet people and couldn't go do what everyone else was doing and just hanging out after classes. I'm a 9-5 guy, not an 8-??? guy. If anything, I should have taken a lot more business and political science courses earlier on. I'll be on deadline in a job, but not if it's a job that is low paying with an industry in shambles where there aren't any guarantees in terms of real good jobs (such as my "dream job"). I don't mind putting work in and getting things done, I just didn't want to write for a living. Truth be told, I'd rather help people than work in journalism.

QUOTE (SoxAce @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 04:11 PM) Ross is younger than that. And you weren't around during the glory threads from him (alot about subjects like this years ago). I still love ya Ross. Got to hate those posts. I remember those..."fart thread" to say one of them. I'm 21. And I don't know everything. Some days I feel like I know nothing.

QUOTE (NorthSideSox72 @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 02:07 PM) When you get out into the full time working world, you will find why this is done. A lot of people end up going into a job that is not exactly what they thought they'd do while an undergrad. Its just what ends up happening. And a field like journalism, where the job market is so bad, that will be amplified. So, its important to get some diverse background while in school. In my view, it makes a ton of sense. If people are too specialized, they play themselves out of too many jobs, and it makes people less able to do something different. QUOTE (bmags @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 02:42 PM) Being a journalism major i was already incredibly well rounded. No need to say the difference between me and a college grad was psych 1110 child behavior As someone who once was curious about the field of journalism, and believe in what NorthSideSox72 has said, what are you intending to do with your journalism degree? I found out that I hated reporting, designing, taking pictures, deadline pressure among other things. This is why I'm completing a degree in another field.

QUOTE (iamshack @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 03:36 PM) I always thought one of my better qualities was knowing that I didn't know everything, even when I felt strongly about something. Seeing how much you have changed as a person over the past year or so, I think you might benefit from realizing you don't know everything as well. The fact of the matter is that I don't know everything. I don't know what I want to do in life, I just am trying to obtain skills for the workplace and studying a more challenging major. I don't know if I'll go into a corporate job or a human services job. I know what kind of woman I'd like, but I don't know where to find her. I want to have a wife and family someday, I just don't know how to support it. I have a lot to say to people in conversation but I don't know how to say it because of where I'm at (what's appropriate at a music blasting bar?). Generally speaking, I don't know anything but what I do know is that I'll walk away from everything trying my best and giving anything I do my best effort with the circumstances and conditions that I'm working under. As a man, at least I have or am learning what my terms are: that I'm hardworking, trying to be a better person (currently reading How to Win Friends and Influence People), and trying to live a more "full" lifestyle than I had been. It may not seem as though that is the case with how I post, but after every single mistake I make or source of failure I have done, I learn something and continue to work toward a common goal of succeeding.

QUOTE (chwhtsox @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 10:36 AM) News Flash Buddy, for the most part, all fathers refer to their daughters as princess. Not all of those same girls are spoiled. It's a term of endearment. Treating her with respect and loving her is exactly what a father does for his daughter and what a father EXPECTS of any man that's serious about being with his daughter. Material things have nothing to do with this at all, that's a different girl you're referring to. The type of woman that I am referring to is a manipulative and materialistic person. I am going out on a limb here to say that many of the girls I have met share the same characteristics. And you know, that's a shame. Because I agree with you in regards to what a father expects of any man that's serious about being with his daughter. In my past experiences, I have been respectful and loving of my girlfriends. In my only serious relationship, I hope that her father noted all that I did and would speak fondly of me. I know her mother did. The problem that I have right now is that I am having a hard time meeting women who actually know what they want or even have an interest in me. I know what kind of women I like and don't like and what I'm attracted to. Unfortunately I can't seem to find a medium to go meet those kind of women or even people to have as friends in general. I'll admit, I have few friends, but the ones that I do have, I value them a lot. It's just tough when you constantly try to go to bars or parties and still don't feel comfortable in those settings. To summarize, it's a frustrating time trying to get to know yourself when you are trying to meet new people and even find someone to get to know further. Nobody likes being alone, it's a fact of life.

QUOTE (KyYlE23 @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 10:26 AM) I am just hoping that one day you look at one of these threads and realize how much you pigeonhole people and judge people by what you see Perhaps you are right. This article makes a lot of sense, I believe. What are your thoughts?

There's nothing wrong with the well-rounded individual, but some of those general education requirements are ridiculous. For some general education classes, they are a waste of time. Why should I be writing English papers when I could test out of that class and work on the deficiency that I have in math? Why do I bother going to a 4-year university to start out with when I could get the same education at a community college and work to learn some responsibility? Not to mention, a lot of people don't even take those classes seriously and don't get anything out of say, a speech class. I don't believe the general education requirements last for 2 years as some schools try to force you into a major after 1 year of college. At least that is how it was in my initial experience. Just because you are good at something doesn't mean you're interested in it. I'm good at writing but it doesn't mean I want to be a journalist or English professor. For all I know I'll be back in school after my BA in Business to be an educator. You just never know.

QUOTE (KyYlE23 @ Feb 4, 2010 -> 09:36 AM) Wow Beast, you have a lot of things yet to experience and learn. No s***. If you told me two years ago that I was going to be at a different college studying a different subject and trying to complete my degree ASAP, I would have said you're f***ing crazy. Maybe I'll look up this thread in two years and say KyYlE23 was right, and that I'm going out with one of those ugg-booted, spray tanning, daddy's daughter "princesses" that I despised so much when I made this post. Seriously, that fashion trend is disgusting. What happened to the days of women who were naturally beautiful and didn't need all of the bulls*** that some of these clowns wear today at college?